I never was able to learn how to properly communicate and read social signals. When I tell a joke, I offend someone. I get serious, it becomes funny. I try to be in high spirits, I look like a cocky moron. I withdraw and I look like the weirdo. I open up and I look like the jackass who won't shut up.
It has resulted in extreme social blunders and alienation of friends, which in turn result in spells of self loathing and withdraw. I am horrified of confiding in people because their possible reactions to my woes.
I doubt I can ever catch up in this department.