No no no, you misunderstand Dickaloo. This is what I'm talking about. There needs to be an education, to right the ignorance of common folk. Dickaloo is the God of pleasure, not fertility. He doesn't judge you if you're shooting blanks or are as dry and barren as the tundra. If you feel good, you're in touch with Dickaloo. We commemorate this wondrous Lord using strategically plastered Dildos (parks, schools, businesses, etc...) because, as I mentioned before, he was impaled on an enormous phallic statue, not unlike the Washington Monument (except not as pointy; it had a nice round top bit) by jealous Romans who believed that to ejaculate so freely and with such abandon as Dickaloo did was improper. Nonsense. We celebrate the 3rd weekend of every March by wearing crotchless pants to commemorate the 2 day and 3 night erection of Dickaloo, a feat unmatched to this day.
So in accordance with my freedom of religion that DoomRulz so rightly brings up, much like the Satanists and their giant scary statue I am very much entitled to tape my religious dildos in public places. It's to educate people, don't you know.