Film Reviews - AvPGalaxy's Own Critics!

Started by Secret Hero, Mar 07, 2008, 07:25:42 PM

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Film Reviews - AvPGalaxy's Own Critics! (Read 277,465 times)

Space Sweeper

Quote from: Hubbs on Mar 21, 2011, 03:55:11 AM
The Dilemma

Is this an advert for the Dodge Charger? for Dodge? or the brick like cars Americans call 'muscle cars'? well it looks like its all of those together in one of the worst plots I've come across for ages. It revolves around the two main characters putting the engine sounds of a Charger into a crappy little electric car model (for some reason) or something along those lines, pointless anyway.

The whole film is a terrible mess of comedy, slapstick and heart wrenching drama which as you can imagine sits badly and makes you feel rather uncomfortable. Vaughan has churned out many turdy films in recent years and this is no different which is a shame as he can be a funny guy and be in funny films, James on the other hand still hasn't found his place in the movie world and still can't find a winner 'Mall Cop' being his best effort so far, whilst the usually lovely Ryder is showing her age these days and just comes across as annoying, too skinny, too pale and with a bad makeup job.

A complete waste of money and everyones lives and only backs up my theory that studios are so lacking in ideas now they will just greenlight anything to roll out films, as long as it has some biggish names then its a go.
f**kin' a.

When the best part of a movie is a character played by Channing Tatum, you know something is f**ked.

Hubbs

^ But that wasn't the best part lol! There was no best part  :-\

Space Sweeper

I'm trying to be charitable, man! D:

Hubbs

^ Roger roger..


Hall Pass


I honestly had no idea this was a Farrelly brothers film when I started to watch this haha I only started to think it after I saw ALL the regular cast members from almost ALL their previous films and of course the blatant smut. If of course you like childish college boy humour with the inclusion of boring bleached blonde barbiedolls then this is certainly for you, I have liked previous Farrelly films, 'Kingpin' being a classic, but this just seemed alittle too 'Police Academy-ish' for my liking.

When I say 'Police Academy' I mean for adults obviously but much of the humour is just toooo dumb instead of clever dumb..if that makes sense. There are some very good small sequences which made me laugh, the day by day progression of the guys woman hunt from day one was neat, when Wilson and Sudeikis are caught on cam bad mouthing their supposed best friends in their home was a good laugh and there are some nice visual gags too but also some really sick visuals!
If you wanna see a white and black mans 'fireman' in full view and a guy take a dump on a golf course then look no further, yes its that in your face with no cuts.

I did enjoy parts of this film sure but overall its abit dated/old hash and showing the Farrelly Brothers to be past their prime and having had their '15mins of fame' methinks, the cast was weak here too which didn't help (unlike 'Kingpin') and Wilson is sure taking anything he can get right now, definitely past his cutesy loveable rogue period I reckon.

Hubbs

Rango


Well this is an odd one to be sure, what we have here is a beautifully animated cgi film that is so highly detailed it makes your eyes hurt. The level of realism, colour, reflection, shadow and texture on the faces of each and every character in the film is stunning and just makes you wanna buy the Bluray right now, surprisingly this isn't a Dreamworks or Pixar flick either but a Nickelodeon flick so the bar is raised by an outsider.

So apart from the glorious visuals what else do you have? well not too much to be honest, the weird thing about this film is the setting, at the start it appears 'Rango' is set within a live action world where he must/will contend with humans or human problems at his scale eg. 'Toy Story'. Once the film moves along it becomes very clear that the film is actually set in a totally surrealistic fantasy world where there are humans BUT the characters all live within their own world with their own wood built town with barrels, crates, individual buildings, drinking glasses, guns and even toilets!! This is rather odd to get your head around as you have a fantasy world of talking animals in their own town which is much like a human town but at their scale which also somehow merges in and out of the human real time world eg. Rango walks across a busy highway at one point.

Another thing that struck me as I watched was how close this represented a cgi Muppet film haha all the characters are so wacky, rough looking and brilliantly loony that you can't help but think of Jim Hensons creations, 'Muppet Treasure Island' sprung to mind, plus 'Rango' himself with Depps voice work, the characters floppy flexible vulnerable frame and big bulging eyes is very much a Kermit clone.
The rest of the voice work is very good and the cast behind them are well chosen but if you find Southern, Texan, Mexican cowboy type speech annoying (as I do to be honest) then you will get fed up of the whole twangy hillbilly redneck/Mexican accent verbal thing real damn quick.

Plot is unoriginal of course but there are some nice funny moments on the dialog and visual side, not a great deal but enough for you not to get bored. As for the kids..well I dunno, this film isn't actually that much of a kiddie based film really, yes kids will be the main flock but the whole thing is alittle more towards the older persuasion in my opinion, not totally of course but its not a silly kiddie flick and possibly abit too clever maybe for kids, close call.
Decent cgi film that wins you over through looks alone but doesn't reward you with much more really, Depp is pretty good as a voice and should maybe stick with it as his acting performances have become all too similar in recent years, lastly for a chameleon film there isn't much colour changing camouflage going on strangely.

Hubbs

Gun (2010)

Very short film with a very unoriginal and pointless plot simply revolving around Kilmer getting out of prison and getting friendly again with an old friend (sort of) in 50cent and his ruthless gang, from then on they gun run together whilst Kilmer is relaying info to the cops to get himself freed from jail for good.

The whole film is one big typical cliche and frankly not much of a good example for young black boys, I really dunno why people continue to glamorise gang/rap culture as it does give the younger generation, mainly black, the wrong idea. In this we see, as usual, a cliched black gang gunning down other gang members to the sounds of horrendous rap music which of course is about violence and guns  ::) is this really needed?

Curtis Jackson (50) is a poor actor and to be honest Kilmer doesn't do much better inbetween the mindless banter from cops and gangsters, the whole thing is just a complete waste of time and as said an advert for gang culture and guns! the question is what has happened to Kilmers career and why reward these 'rap artists' with film roles that do nothing accept give black males a bad image (unless they are rich rappers of course).

Hubbs

Unknown


If you liked 'Taken' with Mr Neeson then you will certainly like this adrenaline rush of hot pursuit, pretty much the same kind of realms as the film just mentioned with less violence but Neeson again rushing around trying to uncover the truth whilst getting into all manner of scraps along the way. To be honest I actually thought this was a sequel to 'Taken' when I first heard of it.

The film is pretty tense actually and you do find yourself really getting behind Neeson as he tries to explain to people the facts, you really wanna shout to screen 'listen to the man he speaks the truth damn you!!!!' haha
The film sucks you in and doesn't let go for a second, well almost, there are some slow sections when you find yourself just wanting Neeson to get running around again and do something. You know there are gonna be twists aplenty at some point as its non too hard to predict and you know he just can't trust anyone....so run damn you run!!

Hubbs

Stiletto (2008)


A pretty impressive cast line up can't save this poorly made film from coming across as a shoddy TV movie type affair, the plot is your basic revenge theme only the killer is a sexy female ala Nikita.
Its actually just a complete rip of the Besson film really and all other Nikita style plots/films but its not even convincing with really dodgy acting, bad editing and poor action with obvious doubles etc..

The main cast are some big character actor names....Biehn, Berenger, Forsythe but they are also names that peaked along time ago and clearly now take anything that comes along, Berenger is really badly cast as a mob boss here. There are some sequences shot with handheld which does add abit of realism to the whole thing but everything is just a big cliche and has been done many times before, its bordering on just plain silliness at times with certain scenes and dialog.

Hubbs

Legacy: Black Ops


Meant to be an engaging claustrophobic, wall crawling, nerve jangling, flashback driven tense affair but turns out to be rather dull and boring with a plot that doesn't really explain itself too well leaving you guessing what the hell is going on.
Acting wise its a vehicle for Elba and he does show promise even if he does kinda force the issue too much, whilst everyone else is pretty bland. Problem is the films title and cover gives you the impression its gonna be a gun ho type shoot em up, problem is its not that in the slightest haha its very different and of course physiological but do you really wanna watch a film where a man goes slowly nuts holed up in a grotty little motel room where absolutely nothing happens for the entire time accept one punch up?

Hubbs

Loaded (2008)


Fairly decent film which isn't entirely original or well acted but the young cast do OK to keep you interested (especially the girls hehe) and there are some reasonably nice sequences with fights, shooting and cars to satisfy the brain but 'Lethal Weapon' this ain't. Vinnie Jones has a surprisingly good little cameo as a drug kingpin utilizing his gruff cockney accent against the over tanned bleached teeth of a youthful cast, he is the only person to add a touch of danger and realism, kinda.

Hubbs

Ninja 忍者 (2009)


Well this action takes you right back to the late 80's early 90's haha if you picture 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' but with blood and for an adult audience then you have 'Ninja'. I won't lie to you I found this silly nonsense kinda fun to watch hehe it was full of totally ridiculous set pieces, hordes of blade fodder in the form of a never ending supply of henchmen all wearing identical outfits which is simply hilarious and some really over the top cgi blood spurting :) yes this was an epic slice of hokum.

I gotta admit there was some nice imagery throughout the film with the ninja suits, especially in the dark rainy parts and the dojo sequences at the start, some cool fights and moves and some nice weaponry to boot...its a film about cool ass ninjas...think about it.
Totally predictable and extremely corny with all the regular goodie and baddie cliches but admittedly Adkins (the goodie ninja guy) has probably the best looking torso I've seen since Jason Scott Lee in 'Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story'! as a man I must admit I was impressed! a definite challenge to all the regular 80's action men (yet acting wise he's dire).

I really didn't know they made films like this anymore lol! yet I'm pleased, really brought memories of my teen years flooding back, the only thing missing from this Shinobi 忍び epic is Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa.

Hubbs

Limitless


An interesting concept about a guy taking a drug that enables him to use 100% of his brain at all times, nice idea which isn't really brought across fully in my opinion as the film just seems to lack a kick. The story seems to wander across afew sub plots which don't really get explained too well and I found myself asking 'how did that happen? when did that happen? where did he get that? and why did he do that?', too many little moments like that happen throughout.

The whole plot is quite neat but made in an unoriginal way, the guy starts off as a nobody and after taking the drug is able to 'cheat' life and get lots of money, girls, material things and a certain amount of power, its something that has been done before and its very predictable right up to the end. The acting from the top cast is very good and really makes you believe what's happening, as the film progresses it does get quite tense as Cooper runs out of drugs, has the mob after him for more whilst De Niro wants his big money deal sorted....its does get your palms sweaty for Cooper.

There is some interesting camera work to show the drug use and how it effects, the use of almost black and white before drug use to then Bluray sharp colour once the drug is taken is a nice idea and does give you a sense of being 'high' or 'alive', you can feel the characters sense of invigoration and liberation apon the drug use. What I didn't like was as the film progresses the people that take the drug go from being sort of super intelligent to also being alittle super human too. Either the effects start to weaken or they need the drug in a dangerous situation so they just pop a pill and bingo! they're kinda super human and can fight, run, leap and practically do anything which just kinda spoils to idea, it goes overboard abit.

The ending spoils the film too as Morra (Cooper) ingests the drug in a rather stupid and unrealistic way by lapping infected blood up off the floor from a recently dispatched baddie, plus there are more 'how did that happen' moments along with a weak finale that again leaves you thinking 'huh?'
What springs to my mind is if this drug is so good and controllable why doesn't everyone, mainly Van Loon (De Niro) just take the drugs themselves instead of relying on Morra for results, too many questions for me.

Hubbs

Hubbs

#477
Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels


Ritchie uses almost every known British character actor/soap star for his gang romp revolving around the simple premise of some guys owing a gang boss a large amount of money. The cast is impressive you gotta admit, of course you gotta be British to probably get the most from it but the collection of oddballs and gangsters are all so well cast and played it just shoves the seedy, gritty, dirty, 'Del boy' London grim in your face perfectly.
There is certainly a Tarantino style going on throughout as the story tends to twist n turn amongst all the dreary looking locations, the whole film seems to have a brownish tint to it, almost an enforced grimy hue to really bring the rough dilapidated streets of London to life. To be honest you don't even need to follow the story you just watch it for the continuous use of cockney slang and hints of vicious violence between various roughians, (a case of less is more with the violence) at the same time all this is accompanied by a glorious soundtrack.

A slick cool visage of thugs and wheeler dealers of varying levels of intelligence all mixed with a dark gallows humour that makes you unsure wether to giggle or shy away. The four main characters are a good balance of your classic 'EastEnders' types with a dollop of 'Only Fools n Horses' comedy on top in a world where the Kray brothers could still be walking the streets and where Vinnie Jones as 'Big Chris' brings another level of atmosphere with his final act.

Bosh! job done Guv'



Snatch


'Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 2' could be its real name, Ritchie is back with the second in his British gangster trilogy ('Revolver' being number three) and this time due to the success of his first venture he clearly has more money to play with so he brings in some big name stars.

The film is almost the same kind of thing to 'Lock Stock' being another gritty, dirty, slimy cockney collaboration of tales all revolving around yet more oddball wheeler dealers, thugs and gangsters as they all try to get ahold of money, jewels and each other in (again) a Tarantino type way with more gallows humour.
The cast again is fantastic and includes yet more British actors that were somehow left out of the first film, over Ritchie's films he's used every known British character actor or soap star we have haha The inclusion of some big Hollywood stars actually, for me, brings the film down slightly, they don't seem realistic and can't fit into this exclusively British world thus the film loses its sense of realism, a big Hollywood star doesn't always equal a good direction to go.
To be frank the film does really have a R. Rodriguez feel to it eg. 'Mariachi' was made, it did well so RR remade it bigger and better. 'Snatch' does seem to fall into that catergory to a degree, it does feel almost like a reboot or upgrade of 'Lock Stock' as some of the cast that do show up in both films are playing the same kind of role, mainly Vinnie Jones who can't really play anything else. The film has the exact same grotty feel to it with your typical South/East London looking pubs, alleys and streets, more cockney dialect to confuse any non Londoner, more hints at vicious violence but without actually showing that much, some glorious fights and more swearing than you can possibly imagine haha

The only thing I don't like about the film is all the silly names everyone has, I just get the feeling Ritchie was trying too hard to make it in the same vain as American New York gangsters, your typical hood with his catchy nickname like 'Billy the rat' or 'pool table Pauly' for example lol! it just seemed abit daft.
Basically this is another triumph for Ritchie despite making the same film all over haha Alan Fords portrayal of 'Brick Top' is also probably the most chilling baddie I've seen in years.

Oi!!! geeeza!!

SpaceMarines

Quote from: Hubbs on Apr 10, 2011, 06:55:36 PM
Spoiler
Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels


Ritchie uses almost every known British character actor/soap star for his gang romp revolving around the simple premise of some guys owing a gang boss a large amount of money. The cast is impressive you gotta admit, of course you gotta be British to probably get the most from it but the collection of oddballs and gangsters are all so well cast and played it just shoves the seedy, gritty, dirty, 'Del boy' London grim in your face perfectly.
There is certainly a Tarantino style going on throughout as the story tends to twist n turn amongst all the dreary looking locations, the whole film seems to have a brownish tint to it, almost an enforced grimy hue to really bring the rough dilapidated streets of London to life. To be honest you don't even need to follow the story you just watch it for the continuous use of cockney slang and hints of vicious violence between various roughians, (a case of less is more with the violence) at the same time all this is accompanied by a glorious soundtrack.

A slick cool visage of thugs and wheeler dealers of varying levels of intelligence all mixed with a dark gallows humour that makes you unsure wether to giggle or shy away. The four main characters are a good balance of your classic 'EastEnders' types with a dollop of 'Only Fools n Horses' comedy on top in a world where the Kray brothers could still be walking the streets and where Vinnie Jones as 'Big Chris' brings another level of atmosphere with his final act.

Bosh! job done Guv'



Snatch


'Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 2' could be its real name, Ritchie is back with the second in his British gangster trilogy ('Revolver' being number three) and this time due to the success of his first venture he clearly has more money to play with so he brings in some big name stars.

The film is almost the same kind of thing to 'Lock Stock' being another gritty, dirty, slimy cockney collaboration of tales all revolving around yet more oddball wheeler dealers, thugs and gangsters as they all try to get ahold of money, jewels and each other in (again) a Tarantino type way with more gallows humour.
The cast again is fantastic and includes yet more British actors that were somehow left out of the first film, over Ritchie's films he's used every known British character actor or soap star we have haha The inclusion of some big Hollywood stars actually, for me, brings the film down slightly, they don't seem realistic and can't fit into this exclusively British world thus the film loses its sense of realism, a big Hollywood star doesn't always equal a good direction to go.
To be frank the film does really have a R. Rodriguez feel to it eg. 'Mariachi' was made, it did well so RR remade it bigger and better. 'Snatch' does seem to fall into that catergory to a degree, it does feel almost like a reboot or upgrade of 'Lock Stock' as some of the cast that do show up in both films are playing the same kind of role, mainly Vinnie Jones who can't really play anything else. The film has the exact same grotty feel to it with your typical South/East London looking pubs, alleys and streets, more cockney dialect to confuse any non Londoner, more hints at vicious violence but without actually showing that much, some glorious fights and more swearing than you can possibly imagine haha

The only thing I don't like about the film is all the silly names everyone has, I just get the feeling Ritchie was trying too hard to make it in the same vain as American New York gangsters, your typical hood with his catchy nickname like 'Billy the rat' or 'pool table Pauly' for example lol! it just seemed abit daft.
Basically this is another triumph for Ritchie despite making the same film all over haha Alan Fords portrayal of 'Brick Top' is also probably the most chilling baddie I've seen in years.

Oi!!! geeeza!!
[close]

Love these two movies. Great times with my dad watchin' them.

"Fee 'im to the pigs, 'arold."

Hubbs

Undisputed Trilogy


Undisputed

The Mike Tyson story this could be hehe Mr Chambers (Rhames) goes to jail for an accusation of rape and becomes an even bigger media typhoon than he was before. At first I didn't think much of the film to be honest, it was cliched and kinda boring really plus Rhames as 'Chambers' was an annoying character who you wanted to see beaten.
I soon discovered that my feelings towards Chambers actually fuelled my enjoyment as the film continues and Snipes character 'Monroe' comes into play, the tense build up between the two up to the obvious finale does get you going. Lets not get over excited here this is your typical 'Rocky-ish' story with all the usual characters, dialog and scenes, not original but a good beat em up when the fists fly.
The final fight is well done and you do feel the blows as Snipes and Rhames match up and sweat over each other haha I'm pretty sure Rhames would win in a real fight though as he looks pretty darn solid.




Undisputed 2: Last Man Standing

Now this is rare!! a cheap straight to DVD sequel that not only is better than the original but a really good stand alone film!! Here we have Michael Jai White replacing Rhames as 'Chambers' and being setup on a drug charge to get him into a Russian jail to fight the top inmate...Scott Adkins as 'Boyka'.

The plot is stripped down and the most basic excuse for a 'beat em up' I've come across for some time haha add to that the usual cliched inmate characters along with the usual vicious prison guards and warden and you have your usual prison flick. The main difference here is the amazing fight sequences performed by Adkins who, after seeing 'Ninja', has become the most impressive martial artist I have seen in a long long time. The man is solid, well built and can move gracefully achieving moves I have only seen in computer games, his acting isn't too bad in this film either to be honest...no worse than a young JCVD.

I can't lie, this film is the best fighter I've seen since the early days of Mr JCVD and films like 'Bloodsport' and 'Kickboxer' yet this film is so much more realistic, bloody and with much much better fight sequences. The fights are fast fluid and breathtaking as gymnastics are combined with stunt work to produce battles you would expect to see in the 'Tekken' computer game, I can't begin to say how impressed I was when I was expecting just a run of the mill crappy poorly made B-movie.
The only thing that let it down was the simple fact that I don't think Chambers could learn and become good at kickboxing in that short space of time plus I'm pretty sure in a real fight a kickboxer would beat a boxer but any ways expect to be surprised.




Undisputed 3: Redemption

Third and final outing? again we are back to see Boyka this time rise from the ashes and become a world class fighter again as he turns from being the baddie fighter in the second film to the hero in this third. The story follows on from the second with Boyka having a badly damaged leg after losing his fight to Chambers, from there on we get another well run plot of over coming an injury to join in a tournament against other world fighters to get freedom, think 'Bloodsport' or 'Street Fighter' or any other fighting tournament flick, they're all the same really.

Again I was surprised with this film as I expected a real waste of film but again this is actually a pretty decent fight flick with again some fantastic fight sequences. Yes all the other fighters are your typical cliched types from various countries, one fighter from Brazil being a complete copy of 'Eddie Gordo' from 'Tekken' right down to the outfit, the only difference with this film is all the fighters can actually do the kind of super moves you see in 'Tekken'. Some of the moves and gymnastic abilities on show are amazing and the best I've seen in a film, yes the acting is so so and the plot is predictable but a real effort has been made with these two sequels to make the fights look bloody good and that they do.
All the cast is persent from the second film so continuity is spot on which is really nice, same with location too and all the fighters look the part and as said move damn well, if you like 'beat em up' films that hark back to the days of JCVD then you really can't go wrong here, this film series is a well made little franchise and a fourth  film would actually be pretty cool.

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