Film Reviews - AvPGalaxy's Own Critics!

[joshallan]

I thought that id dare and throw this up ok here goes the Matrix series there I said it and get this I liked the film it was an eye opening kung fu film but the girl who played Trinity was mingin also Elrond made for one of the best vialians of all time you could just tell from the first time you saw him he was mean as any of the best villians except Darth vader k

[Alienseseses]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4f/Supermariobros.jpg

A WARNING THOUGH - this movie contains a lot of references to Reptilians and a few references to disturbing parallels to 9/11.  Just watch the movie with this in mind and you'll see.

That post got a huge laugh out of me.

[War Wager]

We all know the whole 'man vs beast' concept has been done to death in Hollywood, with few successful attempts. A popular creature in horror is the crocodile, which has unfortunately been subjected to crappy, tacky B-movies (though 'Lake Placid' was good) that just don't do justice to the real life animal. Then along comes 'Rogue' to "reboot" the genre so to speak and give a fresh take on a terrifying reptile.

The story starts out innocently enough, with an Australian tourist boat venturing into an unknown river system in response to distress call. Venturing into it's territory, a giant 35 foot crocodile maroons them on a tiny mud island and causes the travelers to put their differences aside and work together to stay alive.

Simple enough, but it's arguably more suspenseful than 'Jaws' in that the characters are in constant danger from the moment they're stranded; the tide is rising quickly, darkness is creeping in fast and the crocodile is just unwillingly to leave the intruders alone. In a nice twist, the characters here actually come across as real people and are well played (with a particularly strong performance by Radha Mitchell). This obviously makes it all the more intense when they get attacked. 'Intense' is pretty much the word to describe the movie as a whole actually, theres some pretty gripping scenes in here that rival a lot of older horrors. Unlike those however, theres a heavy reliance of CG with the occasional use of animatronic. Though considering the movies budget, the FX they managed to pull of are impressive:



Okay, theres a few naff shots in there, but overall you buy this as a living, breathing animal.

The music is pretty good too, with good use of traditional Australian instruments and vocals in the opening credits giving it a nice epic feel and the starting journey of the tourist boat itself is both playful and exciting. If a little creepy. The croc themes are pretty standard to the creature; sharp violin cords mixed with strong bass, but it definitely does the job. Overall, 'Rogue' is definitely worth a look and is best watched with the lights off and the sound way up. Infact, next to 'The Descent' I'd say it's one of the best modern "monster" flicks to come out of Hollywood in a long time.

8/10

[Shasvre]

I haven't seen Rogue yet, but if you liked it you should check out Black Water.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0816436/

The DVD cover makes it look pretty lame, but it's really good and very realistic.

[War Wager]

Been meaning to check that out, thanks for the link.

[severen76]

Might want to check out Primeval too.

[Commander Griker]

The Box



Norma and Arthur Lewis, a suburban couple with a young child, receive a simple wooden box as a gift, which bears fatal and irrevocable consequences. A mysterious stranger, delivers the message that the box promises to bestow upon its owner $1 million with the press of a button. But, pressing this button will simultaneously cause the death of another human being somewhere in the world; someone they don't know. With just 24 hours to have the box in their possession, Norma and Arthur find themselves in the cross-hairs of a startling moral dilemma and must face the true nature of their humanity.

This movie is based off of a Twight light Zone 1986 episode "Button, Button" i remember watching it and it had the very same plot as this movie but instead of them becoming wealthy at the start she didnt push the button because her and her husband knew that some random person would die because some old guy that brought the box to them but at the very end of the show she pushed the button. The old man who delivered the box to the couple was supose to be the grim reaper. The box was used for people to do his dirt work

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Button,_Button_(The_Twilight_Zone)

[SpaceMarines]

The Twilight Zone episode was actually based off of a short story that was published in 1970 by, oddly enough, Playboy, and was written by Richard Matheson.

[cloverfan98]

http://cdn.videogum.com/img/thumbnails/photos/rogue.jpg

We all know the whole 'man vs beast' concept has been done to death in Hollywood, with few successful attempts. A popular creature in horror is the crocodile, which has unfortunately been subjected to crappy, tacky B-movies (though 'Lake Placid' was good) that just don't do justice to the real life animal. Then along comes 'Rogue' to "reboot" the genre so to speak and give a fresh take on a terrifying reptile.

The story starts out innocently enough, with an Australian tourist boat venturing into an unknown river system in response to distress call. Venturing into it's territory, a giant 35 foot crocodile maroons them on a tiny mud island and causes the travelers to put their differences aside and work together to stay alive.

Simple enough, but it's arguably more suspenseful than 'Jaws' in that the characters are in constant danger from the moment they're stranded; the tide is rising quickly, darkness is creeping in fast and the crocodile is just unwillingly to leave the intruders alone. In a nice twist, the characters here actually come across as real people and are well played (with a particularly strong performance by Radha Mitchell). This obviously makes it all the more intense when they get attacked. 'Intense' is pretty much the word to describe the movie as a whole actually, theres some pretty gripping scenes in here that rival a lot of older horrors. Unlike those however, theres a heavy reliance of CG with the occasional use of animatronic. Though considering the movies budget, the FX they managed to pull of are impressive:



Okay, theres a few naff shots in there, but overall you buy this as a living, breathing animal.

The music is pretty good too, with good use of traditional Australian instruments and vocals in the opening credits giving it a nice epic feel and the starting journey of the tourist boat itself is both playful and exciting. If a little creepy. The croc themes are pretty standard to the creature; sharp violin cords mixed with strong bass, but it definitely does the job. Overall, 'Rogue' is definitely worth a look and is best watched with the lights off and the sound way up. Infact, next to 'The Descent' I'd say it's one of the best modern "monster" flicks to come out of Hollywood in a long time.

8/10

Huh at first glace this looks like a Syfy film. I really want to see this now.

[War Wager]

Everyone seems to have conflicting views about the 'Saw' series, but across the board, the first is considered the best. The rest trash. Critical response hasn't stopped Lionsgate releasing a new movie every Halloween however; they can be made fairly cheap and bring back much more than their budget. Pretty much the sole reason is the series has become so iconic is because of it's harsh, brutal violence and sadistic situations. This perhaps cheapens the series somewhat, giving the gore centre stage above the story, but it was a stagetic move. People like grossing themselves out. Either way you cut it, the 'Saw' series is one of the most successful horror franchises ever and as long as it makes money, there will be more to come.

'Saw V' is definitely the weakest of the series as it's story is pretty bland and uninteresting. Basically the "new" Jigsaw continues his weave of torture and punishment, while trying to throw off the police force from his trail. A group of shallow business workers awake to find themselves thrust into a game in which they are given instructions to "be something they're not" in order to survive. And that's it. There are however even more intriguing flashbacks showing John finally starting his "work", testing his first subject plus setting up the traps post 'Saw'. These are really the only interesting parts of the whole movie, played out well by the ever great Tobin Bell. The acting elsewhere is watchable at best with the cast including Costas Mandylor, Scott Patterson and Julie Benz. One of many factors 'Saw' fans crave is the ever occurring twist in the finale that (following the first movies "What.The.F**k" reaction) seems to have been going strong. With a tagline like 'You Won't Believe How It Ends' you'd expect to be blown out of your seat, but alas, you're not. Heck, there ain't even a twist, simply minor revelations.

The traps, which I guess should be considered some importance, are actually not bad. The opening one certainly has the 'ouch' factor. The business 'jerks' are put through a slew of tests which give them to opportunity to work together but, ignoring the rules, only really care about themselves. This mistake becomes apparent by the final test. The final test, by the way, is horrible. I honestly felt like passing out. Definitely one of more cringe-worthy situations in the series. An interesting note is that 'V' is the first in the series to use some CG in it's traps/aftermaths.

Overall, 'Saw V' is very much lacking in all aspects of what made the others work. Doesn't come across as well-made as the other four and doesn't harbour the same 'style'. Seems quite rushed actually. If it weren't for it's violence and occasional flashbacks, it could very well bore the socks off of some. For a movie that was meant to bring the series to a close (haha) it just doesn't do justice to what has come before and it's clear the writers are running out of ideas. Hopefull they upped their game in 'VI' and are saving something unexpected for 'VII'...

5/10

[Commander Griker]

ABC "V" TV SERIES http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQoSCEMzJYE



So is this how 2012 will play out damn reptilians

[Celtic-predator]

Rewatching 28 days later:



For anyone who hasn't seen this movie: Britain is infected by a deadly virus named Rage which transmits through the blood, this virus transforms its hosts into rabid animals and Britain is basically overrun. The protagonist links up with some guys, goes to find some soldiers, the soldiers want to rape his friends so he escapes, sabotages the complex and comes back to rescue his friends.

The film was pretty good, but there were a few quibbles I had with the film:

-The infected are running around in the soldier's mansion, one of the soldiers glances over, spots one of them, decides to make a quip along the lines of: "You've got nowhere to run now." instead of SHOOTING it. Then one of them runs towards him from a corridor and he doesn't shoot that one either.

-In the same mansion one of the soldiers starts talking and looking at the woman he's taking hostage, despite the presence of various deadly infected running around in the same mansion he is in. He gets killed by the protagonist.

OK storyline, ok special effects, ok characterisation, nothing that 'wowed' me. = 7/10

[War Wager]

Lets face it; Rob Zombie's 2007 remake of the John Carpenter classic 'Halloween' isn't exactly the most loved movie in the world. It got pretty much panned critically for soiling on everything that made the 1978 movie so iconic; replacing proper chills and suspense with frequent bloody violence and lingering nudity. That said, I'm one of the few that truly loves Rob's remake. I did see it before the original, but found it much more engrossing and it had more of an impact on me. Carpenter's movie, as good as it is, damn near bored me to tears. I found it really hard to care about any of the characters and never got any of the proper scares that it seems to be consistently praised for. But anyways, Zombie's movie grossed a healthy amount at the box-office, so a sequel was inevitable.

The plot for it is fairly simple: Michael Myers disappears for two years, comes back, and goes after his baby sister again. Of course amongst that, you've got all the usual stuff you'd come to expect from the series with Mike hacking his way through innocent peeps and leaving a nice bloody mess in the process. One of more unusual aspects is that you've got him being "haunted" by visions of his dead mother, urging him on in his quest to be reunited with his family. Another is that it takes the character of Dr. Samuel Loomis, played out as a consistently likable character before, and turns him into a complete ass.

The most striking thing about the movie, for me, is just how sadistically violent it is. I've never seen anything like it. From what would be a simple stab in the older movies, is turned into a much more grisly and graphic moment. The attacks would just linger on and on to the point where you'd feel uncomfortable watching. I even wanted them to stop at some points. Another striking feature is the style the movie has. 'Gritty', 'bleak' and 'realistic' are words that spring to mind. Zombie brings a very unique look to his movies and this is a terrific visual experience, full of shots that really stick with you even past the carnage. Another pretty exceptional factor was that I was on the edge of my seat from start to finish. I've never really felt that most horror movies. Mike has a real threatening, forboding and pretty scary presence that is only helped by the ultra-violence he passes out so randomly. The mood created when he appears on screen certainly got the heart thumping.

Did I enjoy 'Halloween II'? I guess so. Then again, maybe I didn't. I'm honestly not sure. It has an appropriate tone, fairly likable characters and cinematography on it's side, but the violence? Not sure what to make of it. Theres some pretty unsettling scenes in there than can get you wondering if you're actually 'enjoying' it. 'H2' is definitely a Rob Zombie picture. Much different than the first, with a much harsher and "weirder"  story that certainly ain't up everyone's alley. I can't even come to a definitive rating. But I'll be damned if I don't want to see it again.

[TJ Doc]

^ Nicely done, although calling JC's original Halloween boring is akin to calling Mel Gibson ugly. For shame...

Anyways, here's the first part (I did over 6000 words!) of those completely unnecessary mini-reviews I did last month.

A Nightmare On Elm Street

Still great, but let down by a "Whaaaa???" ending that simply perplexes me. Oh, and I'm actually looking forward to the remake; since I think it's needed.

4/5


A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

What were they thinking?! Actually, I know - they were trying to take the sequel in a new direction so as not to carbon-copy the original. Too bad they failed! Miserably! This is a steamy, homoerotic pile of crap. Although it is worth watching to see Freddy's response to the foolish teen who tries to reason with him.

1/5


A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

Yeah! This is more like it! The film wisely neglects mentioning any of the events that took place in part 2, and instead strives ahead as the first true sequel. But what makes it so enjoyable is that the themes introduced in the original movie are expanded on, so we are treated to much more creative and gruesome dream sequences (the "sleep walking" scene springs to mind). Adding to this are several cases of very well done practical effects, including a stop-motion Freddy string puppet. Plus, we find out more about Krueger's past. It's nice to see Nancy make a reappearance too, and we get the sense of a 'grudge match'  between her and Freddy.

BUT, what lets it down is the characters. They are either really, really annoying (Kincaid...), or just stupendously thick (Laurence Fishburne is the most easily persuadable, er, male nurse ever). You want Freddy to kill them.

3/5 

Oh, and it has an awesome theme song, which I'll post here:

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

It's... good. Surprisingly good. Film series tend to implode once past #3 (cough-Jaws-cough), but Renny Harlin manages to serve up an imaginative slice of Krueger mayhem! True, it's a bit slow at times, but the movie delivers rather well on those all important dream sequences; the highlight here being a girl that turns into a cockroach.

Also, Kincaid dies first!!! In fact all the annoying survivors from Dream Warriors are dusted off in the opening act. Alas, they are replaced by a bunch of even more annoying and/or stereotypical dumbasses. Seriously, what do these writers think? "Ahh jee, we need: a jock, an asthmatic nerd, a headstrong girl with an embarrassing phobia, and a shy and socially insecure heroine. My god - we're original!" *limp-wristed high fives all round*.

And we get to see Freddy wearing sunglasses! Wait, is that a good thing?

3/5


A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
I really don't have much to say about this. It's average. Nothing more, nothing less. The reason for this is because, for the most part, this film is really rather boring. Nothing particularly interesting happens. Having said that, it is worth watching for an unfortunate motorcycle incident, as well as another scene involving... "Super Freddy". And Freddy's new makeup sucks.

Meh.
2/5


Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
This, on the other hand, is quite fascinating. The Nightmare series seems to have jumped ship to the comedy genre with this installment. Or at least it's a comedy for most of the time. The truth is that the movie can't decide on a tone. Freddy will be goofing around with slapstick antics, while his victim will be experiencing true terror. Now, this was often the case with previous installments, but then Freddy usually managed to be somewhat scary. Here he's just amusing, and it doesn't always gel well with the violent deaths (there's quite a bit more gore in this than the others).

Still, I must applaud it for the levels of originality on show. Part 5 was alarmingly bland, so this comes off as a breath of fresh air, regardless of the uneven tone and completely barmy plot elements. Also, it's undeniably entertaining at times (Krueger parodying Nintendo's marketing campaign is hilarious). It was interesting to find out more about Krueger's past, too, and it gave an extra edge to his evil.

Quirky.
3/5


  Freddy VS. Jason

Good fu#king lord... It's been a while since I last saw this particular crossover, and I'd forgotten just how goddam relentlessly blood-splattered the film is. Seriously! People get fu#ked up to the extreme; and when it comes to the main event, both horror icons get the living gore-drenched shit kicked (slashed) out of 'em.

So if you're a gore hound, then I can guarantee that you'll love this movie to (bloody) bits. But that's all there is to the film. Gore. Gore and breasts. Gore, breasts and drugs. There is nothing else. Not a scrap of real substance. Nightmare 2 at least had a homosexual subtext...

I suppose I'm trying to say that Freddy VS. Jason is awful. Sure, it's entertaining in a sick kind of way, but let's try to consider it with our brains switched on for a change. Now I could launch in and target such problems as, say, the literally dozens of cardboard characters, or the overly ridiculous plot (echoing Freddy's Dead), or how it's all agonizingly repetitive. I have other problems, though.

Firstly, is anyone else as confused as I am about the Nightmare series' chronology? It makes no sense. The timeline is completely warped because of the whole "10 year gap" thing that was introduced in Freddy's Dead, yet one character in Freddy VS. Jason sates that they've had 4 years of peace! Matters aren't helped much by the fact that this movie never acknowledges how Krueger was supposed to be killed once and for all at the end of Freddy's Dead. Instead he's merely been "forgotten about". Weak.

I suppose this is where selective amnesia comes into play. You don't have to consider this as part of either series' canon. They never even made a sequel - well, not a film sequel, there was a comic book called Freddy VS. Jason Vs. Ash (yeah, now that's a film I would love to see), but I don't think that counts. Oh but of course, there was Jason X! Perfect. Look, let's just say that both franchises ended with Freddy's Dead, and Jason Goes To Hell, shall we? This was nothing more than a fun little experiment that I'm sure everyone involved with had a lot of fun making. Still, it's a shame that Englund had to hang up the knifed glove on such a low.

1/5

Phew, now I can shelve these DVDs for a few months and move on to... oh wait, there's one more...


Wes Craven's New Nightmare

Well, here we are then. The end of the line. Now I know that Freddy VS. Jason wasn't made until roughly a decade after New Nightmare, but the fact that this movie takes place within a whole other dimension, namely ours, makes it the ultimate Nightmare film whichever way you look at it.

So the movies have ended, and Freddy's dead. But now he's invading the real world. Brilliantly, the center of his attention is  Heather Langenkamp, the actress who played Nancy in the original and third instalments. Here she plays herself living with a fictional husband and son. But she's not the only familiar face putting in a personal appearance. There are numerous supporting roles, including John Saxon and Robert Englund, and even appearences by Robert Shaye (the producer) and Wes Craven, along with a few other little cameos. I won't reveal anything else about the plot, as it is an interesting one, and you will indeed learn more about Krueger's true evil.

It's easy to write this film off as nothing more than a pet project of Craven's; and while at times it may all seem a little self-indulgent, there's no denying that the concept is a fascinating one. After numerous by-the-numbers sequels, this was more than a step in the right direction. Sure, die hard fans my be disappointed by the small body count, but there's so much more to New Nightmare than gore for the sake of gore. There is actually, dare I say it, depth.

Of course it's not perfect. Heather's son is a little annoying, and really just spends most of the time screaming his lungs out and speaking in a raspy voice in an attempt to 'creep us out'. But it's not a massive problem, and the positives far outway the negatives. For instance, this is probably the most suspenseful of the Nightmare movies, and there are a few good scares. Freddy's new look is suitably menacing too, though he seems like less of a burns victim, and more what Darth Maul would have looked like if he'd made those 'decorations' by cutting off strips of his skin. But it fits with Craven's attempt at making Freddy scary again, and for all intents and purposes, he succeeded. You won't find Krueger playing Nintendo here, no sir.

To top it all off is the concept, which I have already mentioned; helped to no end by a strong script and great performances. This truly is a very well made, thought provoking, and most importantly of all, scary horror film.

4/5

Until April then, Freddy...


Manhunter

It's not often that I'll refer to a film as being a 'masterpiece'. That word is overused to the extent that films such as Transformers 2 are labelled as one should the reviewer find himself enjoying it (the twat). 'Masterpiece' should refer to a piece of work that is simply outsanding. Striking, even. In any case - a true work of art.

Manhunter is one such film. It has been crafted with such perfection and skill, that to call it anything less than a 'masterpiece' would simply be incorrect. Everything about it, from the visuals to the sounds, to William Peterson's central performance as the mentally tortured Will Graham, to Tom Noonan's bizarre killer Francis Dollarhyde, stands out in such a way that it will surely leave a long-lasting impression on you.

Michael Mann's masterpiece.
5/5


The Lost Boys

Good 80's vampiric fun. There wasn't anything particularly special or notable about the film, though Joel Schumacher's  talent for creative camerawork shines through, as does Kiefer Sutherland's great performance as the villainous head vampire, David. Plus the soundtrack is generally fantastic.

Though it is stuck in the 80s... and that's not a bad thing! Usually.
3/5

[TJ Doc]

Part 2!

Jason X

I'd love to just type: 'A pile of wank', and leave it at that. But I feel as though I need to say more. My mind is split, you see. On the one hand, there's the simple fact that this film is awful. On the other, there may actually be certain qualities located within this shit-heap that could be worth defending.

For instance, the sci-fi setting does indeed breath fresh life into this smouldering corpse of a slasher franchise. Granted, we got a fair bit of ingenuity with Jason Goes To Hell... but was that set in space? Exactly. Now, all of a sudden, Jason gets a whole load of new toys to play with, including liquid nitrogen, industrial-sized screws, and... uh... Actually, now that I think about it, that's about all the creativity there was. Sure, there's a little bit of "virtual reality" fun, but for the most part it's back to the machete/brute force combo that's been serving him so well since Part 2. Shame.

Which means that the space ship the movie is set on... has very little to offer in reality. In fact it makes everything worse. All the tension that (infrequently) came from the woodland stalking of Friday films long since passed, has vanished - replaced with a boring series of dimly lit corridors for Jason to stroll down. Of course, inherited Friday problems return (annoying characters, weak and stupid plot, and "He's dead! We're gonna' be OK!" *splat* moments), along with a reluctance to admit that Jason should be in hell. Like Freddy vs. Jason after it, I deem this as being unworthy of a place in the series' established canon. Oh, and I don't want to even think about Uber-Jason...

A pile of wank.
1/5


The Omen

Jesus. It's been a few years since I last saw the original film, but I'd forgotten just how unnerving it is. Maybe it was to do with my viewing conditions. Here I am - sitting up close to my laptop with my back to the door, and the lights are switched off. The sound was up too.

Now they say that that is the recommended way to watch a horror movie if you want it to truly succeed in scaring you. They were right; The Omen really got to me. It's all about atmosphere, with extreme closeups of peoples' eyes partially covered in shadow, steady shots complemented with superb lighting, and Gothic choir chanting. Of course, there are also long periods of time without any music whatsoever, but those moments are often even more suspenseful because of it! Everything comes together to create an air of pure dread.

And it works! This is from a completely different school of horror to, say, something like Halloween. Whereas that movie gradually (and excellently) built up tension before unleashing a BOO! scare, The Omen is comprised wholly of suspense. This doesn't try to make you jump; rather, it simply keeps you in a state of constant insecurity. But when the horror does indeed come, it leaves you with your eyes wide open in shock (instead of making you rocket up into the air by about five inches). After that, you're taken straight back to the movie's unrelenting grip of fear.

But at the end of it all, you'll still be asking yourself why Doctor Who didn't just take a step to the right!

*looks over shoulder*
5/5


Damien: Omen II

Lance Henriksen is in it. That alone lands the film a mark. Other than that, however, this is a by-the-numbers sequel. That doesn't make it bad though, it's just a shame to see this movie fail to deliver the same sense of horror that its predecessor did.

The emphasis here is on the death scenes. Not only are there more of them, but they are also more spectacular. But while the gore-factor is ratcheted up a notch it's good to see that Damien: Omen II doesn't try to drown is in man-juice. Most of the kills are relatively blood-free, and this works to its advantage since the build up to these murders is expertly carried out, resulting in an intense sequence.

The performances are also strong (like in the original), and the actors manage to carry the story rather well. This is surprising, considering how the "story" only amounts to a sequence of deaths intended to keep our attention from wandering. It's not without its plot holes either (how did the daggers get back to Bugenhagen?); although that is only a minor complaint.

Lance!
3/5


Omen III: The Final Conflict

Alrighty then, boys and girls - are you listening? Good, because I'm about to blow your mind simply by giving a brief synopsis of Omen III's plot. Ready? Okay...

The general gist of the movie is that the second coming of Jebus is nigh (yeah, alright, this isn't totally unexpected considering the religious themes and all), so things aren't looking good for the now 32-year old Damien. That isn't his only problem, though, as a crack-squad of (wait for it) commando monks (!) are issued with the task of assassinating the Antichrist with those special daggers that were first introduced in the original movie. But on top of that, it's not long before a bunch of stars collide (or something), and Jebus is apparently reborn on earth. So what does Damien decide to do? Well, murder all the newborn babies in London, of course! But how will he go about such a task? It turns out he issues his orders to his legions of disciples (of which there are a lot - ranging from nurses to boy scouts. Yes, really) at a mass meeting that takes place in what I think is supposed to be a quarry but... oh, my head hurts. There's so much going on that it beggars belief.

So yeah, the plot is crazy (I guess they were trying to make up for Omen II's shallow effort). It's a shame, then, because it's simply not very good. It all seems to keep building up to this final conflict but, well I don't see it! To make matters worse, the movie ends on the mother of all anticlimaxes; a factor that annoys me greatly when you consider how both Omen I & II's endings were very well done. And it's STILL NOT SCARY!

But it doesn't matter... because Sam Neill plays Damien. That's right, Sam Neill. He was relatively unknown at this point, but his performance is excellent. He just looks evil, and delivers all his lines with an undercurrent of menace. One moment that stands out in particular is his chilling soliloquy - directed at Satan and Jebus in a darkened room containing pillars and a life-size crucifix adorned by an inverted Jebus. It's a staple of the original Omen trilogy that each film is filled with strong performances, and in that respect, they certainly went out on a high note.

To sum up, crazy plot or no crazy plot, this is a very well made film. The direction is solid and the acting is fantastic. Also, there are enough trademark Omen "death scenes" to keep you entertained; and even though we are introduced to them with a gloriously brain-splattering demise, the rest substitute gore for the series' preferred method of atmosphere and intensity. And to its credit (sort of), the child killing subplot was a brave and no doubt controversial move for the filmmakers to include.

But still... Commando Monks!
3/5


Omen IV: The Awakening

Urgh... I hate it when they do this. Even though "The Final Conflict" (Chapter/Nightmare - the list goes on) has already happened, a sequel just had to be put into development! Now, normally you'd expect the follow up to have lots of dosh invested in it and enjoy a wide theatrical release, but that's not the case with Omen IV. It was made for TV.

*shudder*

And it most certainly shows! The horror has been toned down to such a degree that, even with the subject matter (a baby girl is adopted by a family with political connections, and as she grows strange and unexplainable incidents happen. Sound familiar?), the film actually has something of a light tone; most notably during the scenes with the private detective who reminds me of Wayne Knight but isn't.

Of course, those Final Destination predating "Omen Death Scenes (tm)" suffer the most. They range from the spectacularly unimaginative (two characters simply seem to die of a stomach ache), to the creative - yet disappointing (one guy gets hit by a wrecking ball). Now you might be thinking, 'But TJ! That wrecking ball death sounds awesome!' It certainly could have been, would be my reply, but all we're treated to is the sight of a ragdoll getting thumped into. Oh, but they suddenly cut to the image of an egg dropping to the floor and splatting open. I guess we'll just have to let our imagination do the work for us, right? Wrong; because we've already seen the comical ragdoll effect! It doesn't work! There's also a decapitation, but that TV restriction gets in the way again and we don't actually get to see the end result. I know the Omen movies take pride in atmosphere over splatter, but the more inventive deaths just aren't executed (pun... intended!) as well as they were in the previous movies. The only decent demise comes when a woman is defenestrated by a dog!

But for all my complaining, Omen IV isn't a terrible film. It has a few well filmed scenes, and considering the TV budget, it's slickly made. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the ending, too. It wraps things up darkly, and even features a twist (although if you haven't figured it out by that time then you deserve a slap). No, it's just a depressingly average film. And it's also unnecessary! The Final Conflict clearly showed us that Jebus was back in town! And that we had to look busy...

2/5

Back soon... 


Omen 666

Jesus. It's been a few years since I last saw the remake, but I'd forgotten just how identical it is to the original. Maybe it was to do with my viewing conditions. Here I am - sitting up close to my laptop with my back to the door, and the lights are switched off. The sound was up too.

Now they say that that is the recommended way to watch a horror movie if you want it to truly succeed in scaring you. They were right; The Omen really got to me. It's all about atmosphere, with extreme closeups of peoples' eyes partially covered in shadow, steady shots complemented with superb lighting, and Gothic choir chanting. Of course, there are also long periods of time without any music whatsoever, but those moments are often even more suspenseful because of it! Everything comes together to create an air of pure dread.

And it works! This is from a similar school of horror to, say, something like Halloween. Whereas that movie gradually (and excellently) built up tension before unleashing a BOO! scare, The Omen is comprised of poor attempts at emulating such tension. This just tries to make you jump;rather, it simply keeps you in a state of constant insecurity. But when the horror does indeed come, it probably will succeed in making you rocket up into the air by about five inches. After that, you're taken straight back to the movie's unrelenting grip of fear.

But at the end of it all, you'll still be asking yourself why David didn't just take a step to the right!

Most. Pointless. Remake... EVAR.

3/5

(but entertaining enough)