The Confession Thread

[Kradan]

I'm sorry to hear that, Blue. I believe you

[Darwinsgirl]

I'm so very sorry this happened to you Blue. I can't imagine the the physical and emotional trauma  you experienced. I hope you find healing and peace from this.

[[cancerblack]]

[...]

I'll be with you every step of the way, like you've been for me.

[BlueMarsalis79]

I know, love you.

[Stitch]

I'm really sorry to hear that. That's awful.

[Immortan Jonesy]

The YouTube algorithm knows me more than my family and friends lol 🙈

[Kradan]

I ain't sure if this is the right place to post about this sort of stuff but what the heck

I have a real problem with masturbation. I've started back when I was 15 and have been doing it ever since regularly once a day on average. About a year ago (thanks to my newfound love for God) I've realised that this was wrong and had to stop. And man, oh man, let me tell ya, quitting is easier said than done. There were so many "last times" I've lost any count. It's an addiction, it truly is. Your own body is fighting against you, your brain gets very cunning in tricking you to do it, I've never taken drugs but based on what I've heard about them it sounds fairly similair minus the extreme withdrawals I guess. It feels like a fever, like a fire burning you from the inside, like the whole world is screaming at you "DO IT !", you can't concentrate on anything, you're just wasting precious time trying to stop yourself from searching for pornography.

And thinking back to the kind of stuff I was watching it's truly amazing how powerful this addiction is in silencing your consciousness. Porn is all about how women are just mindless objects whose whole existence is to give men sexual pleasure. It's all about getting the biggest shot of someone's dick going into someone's a-hole. It's so harmful to a young mind in its views of the opposite sex, it's terrifying. It may sound over the top but I believe that watching porn is equal to encouraging women being rapped on camera and I feel ashamed for participating in it.

Some porn is even weaponising the fact you know what you're doing is wrong against you. Like, some of it just straight-up tells you "keep indulging your porn addiction you miserable f**k, keep worshipping the porn goddesses, why go outside and interact with real people when you can stay home and jerk off for hours ? etc.". Truly disgusting.

Also a thing I've learned about masturbation recently - it is NEVER worth it. Seconds of pleasure turn into hours and days of depression and self-disgust and the hardest thing is to brush off and start from the ground zero. I can only pray to God for forgiveness and for him to give me strength and patience to keep resisting this addiction so hopefully one day I'll be able to look back and say "Yeah, that was a part of my past self"

[[cancerblack]]

Also a thing I've learned about masturbation recently - it is NEVER worth it.

This is separate from some real issues you bring up around modern pornography, but, masturbating once in a while is actually very good for you, assuming you aren't having regular sex. Orgasms keep your prostate healthy, and you don't want that getting cancerous, I promise.

Seconds of pleasure turn into hours and days of depression and self-disgust and the hardest thing is to brush off and start from the ground zero.

This sounds as psychologically unhealthy as spending all day gooning tbh. Wasting time watching porn and wasting time being miserable over having watched porn previously is still giving it all your mental energy.

[Retropocalypse]

@Kradan. I hear you. It's not easy when everything in society is hypersexualized either. Explicit content is encouraged and rewarded - It's been almost normalized.

For men, the 15-20 minutes of watching porn to receive 10-15 seconds of ecstasy isn't worth the potential long-term complications (reduced dopamine, which can later lead to depression, etc.), but you're trapped in the cycle.

Pornography, by all intents and purposes, is a drug. And the addiction feeds off your personal circumstances. For me, it was whenever I felt lonely or stressed. I didn't have a particularly good social life (being an introvert), so the easiest way for me to find happiness/pleasure was through gaming, food, and sexual relief.

I think once you find a purpose or a goal - something that you're passionate about and deeply resonate with - you can break any harmful addiction. Don't get me wrong, masturbation is still a healthy activity to engage in, within moderation, especially to help decompress.

[[cancerblack]]

Don't get me wrong, masturbation is still a healthy activity to engage in, within moderation, especially to help decompress.

I can't stress enough that it doesn't require engaging with porn either.

[Local Trouble]

Like Jackie Treehorn always said: "People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone."

If you need porn to be a coomer, that's just a failure of imagination.

[Acid_Reign161]

As others have said, it's quite healthy to give the 'ol trouserburster regular TLC - a porn addiction and masturbation are two very different things. 

[Immortan Jonesy]

I wish I could help you comrade, but I'm too virgin for that.

[Kradan]

Don't get me wrong, masturbation is still a healthy activity to engage in, within moderation, especially to help decompress.

I can't stress enough that it doesn't require engaging with porn either.

I tried rely solely on my imagination but all it did is just lead me back to computer

I hear you folks saying that doing it every once in a while is OK but I feel like for me that line is just way too blurry. Like, what is healthy frequency ? Once a day ? A week ? Two weeks ? A month ? Idk but what I do know is that every time I break it causes me to want more and more often. Like, If I was abstaining for a week and then fapped there's like 99% chance I would do it again in 2-3 days and then back to once every day. I just find abstaining from it completely is easier than trying to moderate it

[Retropocalypse]

I just find abstaining from it completely is easier than trying to moderate it

Ultimately, it's about what works for you.

Some people can just drop bad habits completely. Others need to wean off them slowly through reduced exposure. Both have their pros and cons.

If you're not having regular intercourse with a partner, masturbating 2-3 times a week is generally a healthy amount - about as frequent as recommended weekly showers. But if you feel you can't manage it without pornography then you can continue to abstain, or you need to be acutely aware of your situation if you do decide to engage in it.

Alternatively, you can try mental exercises and techniques to improve your imagination. Stuff like reading, writing, and meditating.