Every woman's worst nightmare then, eh?
A 5'2", fat, balding, middle-aged man, with an impressive comb-over, an equally impressive beer-gut, and shops for his clothes at Jacamo. He enjoys spending his evenings and days off watching repeats of Top Gear on Dave. He describes himself as "sporty" as he spends every Saturday morning playing golf.
His job is in sales, and in an futile attempt to disguise the rapid onset of middle age, he recently bought a Porsche Boxster, which he describes to his mates as his "Pussy Magnet".
I was also going to write a bit about penis size and shape, Fordyce spots and a lack of understanding of female genital anatomy, but I'll leave those bits to your own imagination- after all, isn't it often said that your own imagination is always scarier than anything someone can describe or depict.