The Sun Is In My Mind:
Another Ridiculously Long Post by Space Sweeper
Disclaimer:
This is a f**ked up dream. We've all had them, and sometimes we can't remember all of the details. Sometimes that's a good thing, other times, we wish we remembered how sex with _________ felt. Don't worry- this isn't a wet dream, but hell it makes one mind-bending story. It certainly bent my mind and left it on crutches. Don't read any further if you are a femminist, a holocaust survivor, or have a particular aversion to brutal violence.
-------------------------
I was hoping for a dream that would make up for the previous night's only-desireable-in-the-moment dream, which left me with more moral scars than Oskar Schindler. Anyways, uh- oh yeah, I usually don't have two
interesting dreams two nights in a row, but this was the exception. Here we go, I'm asleep, and my mind is full of f**k, let's go.
I'm on a hill, and I'm with some stupid f**king kids. Below the green, grassy hill is a Nazi assembly. Okay. What the f**k. Where in the world am I? Around me is a massive, almost mountainous slope which is reminiscent of a much smaller hill behind my former Elementary school. To our left is a dark rocky path leading down to a small dock with dead trees and a ton of mud, connecting to an ocean. The sky seems much darker over there, with nothing but shades of grey- it looked like New Caprica from Battlestar Galactica. So we're spying on this Nazi assembly, and somehow I know why these Nazis are such pricks- they aren't out for ze Jews, they're out to kill ze Kidz. Next to me is the stereotypical poindexter kid with glasses, and the frumpy looking tough girl that
obviously only wears that rough exterior. Okay, so this is how I avoid writing shitty characters, I take the saddest examples from the likes of Michael Bay and whatnot, stay with them in my dreams, and feel all of the affection I should for them as companions, then when I wake up, I think:
what a bunch of uninteresting dickheads. But I digress.
So we think we've been spotted, which causes us to run down to the docks for some reason. Yes, because the best idea is to put a limited amount of room between you and the Nazi menace, leaving yourself with the ocean being the only escape. We're doing that run where you don't want to slip on the gravel, but you also want to go as fast as possible, and it is at this moment that I notice I am no taller than either of these little f**kers-- I
am a little f**ker!
Mothershitf**k. It doesn't matter, my dreamstate doesn't recognize how degrading this is, and I pretty much have to live like this every day. So we reach the docks, and there isn't much there. Just a small, shitty little wooden stretch out into the incredibly shallow water, with a muddy appearance. We turn around, and that sense of overwhelming dread comes over me- coming down the pathway is Amon Goth, the real life Nazi, but this time he is fit to his Schindler's list portrayal by Ralph Fiennes. Goddamn you, Ralph... a performance worthy of creating a nightmare? That's a first. So they corner us on the dock that is barely four feet wide. They are smiling, of course. They don't have any aversion to killing kids, because my mind threw some random number I forget after me of kids they had already killed. It must have been a lot because I do believe there was a dookie in my pants.
One Nazi picks up the girl-- I'm just gonna call her "Frumpy"-- by the neck and smiles menacingly. DAMN, NAZI... YOU STRONG! Another Nazi pushes the boy-- "Poindexter"-- down to the side, before the dock, getting mud n' shit all over him. Of course, I mean mud and "other things" when I say that, the shit is optional. And of course Amon comes for me. He just has to, because, you know, I'm the main character, and he's the main antagonist. So now he's talking to me, he's got me by the neck, and he's laughing in between putting the smackdown on my bitch ass in German (well, really he could have been telling me how fat my momma is, and how gay the music I listen to is- I wouldn't have known).
I'd hit hang it.
Really, this is where I blanked out a bit... tends to happen when you are facing an insane Nazi who also portrayed the scary-as-shit murderer from
Red Dragon. "I vant tew make ze veld happeh, Rizhawn. Can't you undlestand zat?" No, no, sir, I can't because I still don't know why you want kids to die. I guess this is overpopulation? Sorry, I just watched
Children of Men and read
The Forever War in the same night, my mind wanders. So this is the part where he cuts my throat, and single-handedly throws me off the dock. Very effective manner of waste disposal asshole. So yes, it did seem like real-world pain, and I really thought I was dead. Is death the ability to disconnect with the body and look around? Okay, if that's what it was, why couldn't I move? Why couldn't I do anything to help those little f**kers that were being brutally assualted back on the shore? You can't explain that. I was left in this mud, occassionally getting hit by the tide. Tide goes in, tide goes out, never a miscommunication.
My explaination was the fact that it was a dream.Okay, so I'm clutching my throat, blood coming out like this is Kill Bill without the hot chicks. I'm really not dead. Amon, bitch, it seems you've underestimated how much it takes to kill a dreamer. I'm not embracing that pain, and groaning in a really strange way. I
drag my eyes back toward the dock where the kids are getting the living f**k beaten out of them. One of the Nazis is sitting in a fold-out chair. What a cocksucker. I crawl over to the right where the ridge leading down to the dock is. It's just as muddy there. I now try to crawl up, ignoring the thought that maybe I should be helping these kids. But then I fell. Yup, square one. Down in the mud, the muck, and the f**k. A little bit of a reality metaphor in my dream. So now these kids are crying really loud, and their beatings are starting to look increasingly fatal. The Nazi in the fold-out chair is now laughing his ass off.
Jesusf**kingchrist, you're an asshole. My dream, douchebag, so a lil' bit of deus-ex machina isn't gonna hurt-- Amon had a knife set laying there on the dock. So I crawled over to it and grabbed the same one that was used to cut my throat. Dramatic irony for the win. Time to be a badass.
I slowly got up, reached around the Nazi, and slammed the knife into his chest. Wow, that's not as easy as it looks in Dexter. There was this one second where I thought I really just f**ked up, but really it was just my lack of strength in the initial moment. Then it came- yup- the knife broke through his breast plate and.. ugh. He fell off of his chair, screaming (hey, at least he wasn't laughing), and I pulled him into the mud. I didn't want to make any mistakes.. so... I stomped his neck as hard as possible and climbed back up on the dock. The other guys were alerted to me, so Frumpy crashed her head into her assailant's nose and jumped for the knife collection. She ended up stabing the living shit out of that Nazi's ass. Strangely disturbing, I wonder if I would have accepted it more if she was hot. Oh yeah, that's right.
Fatale.
So Amon kicks Poindexter in the ribs one more time, he coughs up blood, and I go into some crazy ass frenzy, chasing Amon with a knife for a short time up the hill before he trips and accidentally knocks me down for a second at the same time. I use my knee to give him intensive back therapy, hopefully breaking his spine down to a pulp while doing so. And as he yelled, I got the knife out and started stabbing him in non-critcal locations. Cos' it's always gotta be the non-critical locations. Blood all over the place, soaking in with the gravely rocks, and getting all over my face and his. So as a last-ditch effort, he tries grabbing my face, briefly stopping my final knife thrust, giving me a moment to think whether I want to be as bad as him in my brutal methods...
Sorry, I trailed of there, yeah, yeah, I did. So my stiff and shaking arm slammed down with all the power I could hold in a dream grounded in my own twisted reality, knife in hand. Whack! That piece of shit is dead. f**k you, Amon Goth. So me, Poindexter, and Frumpy head back up to our outlook position. Now, the dull, grey village at the bottom of the hill has Nazis with their hands on their heads, and they are on their knees. Typical surrender formation. Some authority figure from something I like, could be Commander Shepard, could be Captain Keyes, could be Admiral Adama-- let's go with Admiral Adama, is conversing with Hitler as his own team comes in and aim their guns at the Nazi pricks. They exchange papers, and the Nazis are executed. Hitler is crying, as he should be, and he is taken away. The grey European countryside village is swept by new rejuvenating colours that actually appear normal. Everything below me transforms into what appears to be Whistler, Blackcomb- a ski/snowboarding hotspot in British Columbia, Canada- not an hour away from where I had lived until last year. I turn to look for those kids, but they're gone.
The grass is now a beautiful green, the trees are blowing in the breeze, and I smell carnival food. Below me is a massive festival with people walking around, and running up the hill. There are barbeques fired up, and people laughing. There was now a water slide running down the hillside toward the village Of course, in my dreamstate, none of this came to me as strange. Usually, this massive hill is used for skiing and snowboarding, but this is evidently the summertime.
This is where the dream gets incredibly random, so you'll have to bear with me.
Now, like there was never a Nazi occupation my friends come to me and describe a game, which is based around The Lord of the Rings, in which the wizards are hiding from...
what? First of all, a wizard hids
precisely when he means to, second of all, why are we playing this game? We're.. seventeen... Turns out during that transition, I'm no longer a child. I stand up, and of course I don't question it. So now I'm playing hide and go seek with my real life friends, and then.. something that has never happened before happens- I'm somehow with AvP Galaxy members animated through their avatars in a way that makes sense in human form. I'm not sure what it was, I can't even recall what it made it possible, but I could only remeber Vulhalla's characterless space suit as he found me in a curled up in a log. I wasn't angry that I had been found, but I was just happy.
This stupid-ass game of nonsensical hide and seek went on for a bit, but then I decided to play a messed up festival game that was based around cracking the secrets of memes or some such shit. There was one girl with me that seemed to already know the answer to one of them posted on a billboard, near the top of the mountain, but wouldn't let me know. From best I can interpret the conversation went something like this:
"Do you know what the answer is?"
"I might, do you?"
"Well, that's a half-answer, why don't you tell me?"
"I just want to see you squirm."
[Laughs]
"Just like the majority of women out there."
"Hey, we're not all bad."
[I look back at her]
"Yeah but I-"
She was gone at that point. I don't remember a single feature of her face, or body. Seriously, not even her body. Again, her disappearance didn't come to me as strange, just disappointing.
The sky was now golden, and the warm air danced with the perfect cool breeze as I walked down the hill toward Whistler village. The smell of barbeques and the food that had been cooked on them was fantastic, so I decided to get myself something to eat, passing by the gravel trail that went toward the ocean which was now out of sight from fully grown foliage. Thank f**k for that, that place was nasty. I got something to eat that was either a smokey or a hamburger.. hell, I don't know. And at the bottom of the hill where the water slide ended, and there was a long, skinny base of water. I was up to my heels in it, my feet were bare. Of course, just like the majority of my dreams, there was a completely naked woman, sitting on the rim. Now here's something strange- the woman was Jennifer Aniston. And I don't mean modern day Jennifer Aniston, I mean younger, hotter Jennifer Aniston. This was strange considering my mind doesn't usually process her all that much, but f**k, I wasn't complaining. She said something to me, smiling all the way (yeah, I wasn't really keeping track of a goddamn thing, my gaze and attention was else-where.. hey, it's a dream), and then like a professional acrobat, cartwheeled away. Naked cartwheeling throught he water.
Noish.
Spoiler
I love you, Mister Cobb.Things were winding down, couples were hugging, kids where laughing at eachother's stories, and there were controlled fires. I started asking people where Jenn went, and nobody really knew.. what can I say, I got a flirty vibe from whatever she had been saying earlier, and, NAKED CARTWHEELS, I, you know, I wanted to follow through. Unfortunately, that never happened. I layed down on the hill and closed my eyes. This probably led to me waking up, seeing as I can't remember a damn thing more than that.
I rarely have a dream with such events, and I always roll my eyes at other people's whacky-assed dreams that seem thrown together on the spot, but this was a special one worthy of remembering. I assume most of you aren't as cynical as I, so perhaps you even enjoyed reading my f**ked up mind-adventure? Maybe you like my mind-adventures and I should write these more often, seeing as it's not much of a big deal. Good dream. Depressing, refreshing, brutal, symbolic, and... fun.
Thanks for reading.
Spoiler
Naked cartwheels.
