The AvPGalaxy Quotes Thread

[Nightmare Asylum]

Buh...After reading that, if I wasn't rocking my Halloween themed set right now, I think I'd resurrect the Quorra one.

[Space Sweeper]

You broke my heart when Olivia Wilde left your sets... it was perfect. 

[OmegaZilla]

And you broke my heart when--

Oh hi Alison Brie

[Space Sweeper]

And after Halloween I'm doing a full Brie set!

[OmegaZilla]

f**k

[Shasvre]

Oh, cool, you're dressed up as Bumblebee. You must be a Michael Bay fan.

Spoiler

[close]

[ShadowPred]

RazorSlash, I ate poundcake for snacks today. Feels good to eat the monster you created.

PRNDCEKS, NAAAAAAAAAAAAW

OMFG, LMAO!!!

Aspie sucks.

Spoiler

Just kidding.

Spoiler

Aspie...

Spoiler

rocks.

[close]

[close]

[close]

[MrSpaceJockey]

I was told to read this by my buddy guy who is on this forum. God save us all.

An extremely sad and depressing story I wrote based loosely on real events last Christmas.

How loosely?  As lose as your asshole? No, seriously though, I'm going to rip through this shit.  Cause as I read though this, it wasn't like "What the f**k did I just read?"  It was more like "What the f**k AM I reading?" also, "WHY am I reading this?"  Anyway, I digress, on to the asshole tearing.

Alone on an island in the Tempest Sea is Clowny The Clown, who goes "Clown clown clown" as his catch phrase.

What? Obviously this Clown is either insane or he's a Pokemon.  Also, why the f**k would anyone live on a island in a place called "The Tempest Sea"?  Obviously a sea called that would be in a constant storm. Why would this "Clownly The Clown", if that is his real name choose to live there? Is he suicidal? Is he deranged? Is he both of these things? Or is he simply an idiot? I'm going to assume the latter.

He was among the many on the Island of Misfit Plushy Toys, but even among the unloved exiles he himself was an unloved exile. Six years the cuddly clown doll just tried to make friends, have fun, and live life as a fellow misfit away from the harsh realities of the evil society of the United Prisons that was not far away.

They weren't far away from the "United Prisons", so are these exiles escaped convicts? Was this Clowny a rapist? I'm going to assume so, what with the name "Clownly The Clown." Which is a stupid name, what were his parent's hillbillies? Does that make "Clownly The Clown" (or how I'm going to refer to him from now on "Cousin f**ker.") a redneck hillbilly incestuous criminally deranged clown man whore? Anyway, let's continue on.

Clowny had some friends, but he unintentionally made enemies among the cliques of experience. Using superiority in numbers, the cliques attacked Clowny and spread the rumors while using his easily angered temper against him like a hammer to a nail. The cliques leaders united the island against Clowny based on baseless assumptions and false crimes which were far minor than the atrocities they used against Clowny. Using their mighty corrupted muscle man, poor Clowny was thrown into the sea and was set to sink beneath the waves for years until he washed up on shore onto an unknown desert island where he was all alone. Poor Clowny, now a sad little clown wronged by the manipulators of the many that harvest them like sheep while wearing a mask of kindness. This happened so easily because no "sane" person takes clowns seriously. Live on Clowny........ Live on. We root for you.

The TLDR verson: "Whine, whine, whine, sandy vagina."

Clowny the clown found himself alone on an island in the Tempest Sea for many a year until he eventually found a kitten and a puppy. These two baby animals were all alone on the island as well with nobody but Clowny to take care of them. With that he felt happy and named them Truth and Justice, respectively. However, using the powers of darkness the evil clique members from the Island of Misfit Plushy Toys discovered Clowny's new-found happiness and became enraged to no end.

Considering Cousin f**ker's background, I'm rather surprised he didn't eat the cat and dog.  I'm also surprised that he knew exactly what truth and justice mean, considering his general lack of a formal education, being a hillbilly clown and all.

Watsy: GAAAAAAAH! WHY IS HE HAPPY!? GAAAAAAAAH! CLOWNY MUST NEVER BE HAPPY FOR IT WILL SPELL LAMENESS FOR EVERYTHING!
Mikey 79: How can he possibly function in society? We attacked him to no end for no good reason and he's STILL alive! The end of the world and my vinyl collection are at stake!
Franky: He has to be stopped or else bad things will happen. I should know, everything I say is the truth.
Spirit Dragon: We need to separate him from his loved ones, only then can good triumph over these issues!
Mr. 3000: HERMY NER! DURKA LER! LETS SCRAMBLE UP THEM RETARDO DARE SO HE CAN BE GONE DUNKA DUR!
Ty: Can it, pet, and don't you dare pull the "I'm Asian" card again. Anyway, I suggest to make a typical spam statement that makes me look funny and then go murder the emo kid. Buckey, what say you?
Buckey: Well it is my job to stop you guys from ganging up on one person as rule 11 states it, but it is easier to punish one person instead of giving punishment to everyone who should be punished for rule breaking so go ahead and bring Hunter with you. I mean really, who's going to tell me otherwise, an Ekans?
Hunter: You guys HAVE to be right I mean you are the MAJORITY and NOT the minority even though I SHOULD look at it from the minority point of view BUT I don't.

I'm not going to lie, I kind of skipped reading it cause it looked really stupid. I HOPE THERES NOTHING IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT OF THIS RICH NARRATIVE IN THERE.

The evil clique was off to do their heinous actions against Clowny upon going to the Graveyard and collecting a variety of old and rusty weapons. They swam off into the ocean to find Clowny's island. Later that morning, Clowny woke up from his slumber only to find an extremely grizzly sight. While he was sleeping, the clique had come to the island and torn both Truth and Justice to pieces and used their remains to decorate a now blood stained Christmas tree with a message in the sand that said "STOP BEING HAPPY YOU RETARDED TROLL! XD" With such a horrible thing that just happened to him, Clowny became depressed again as he would spend his Christmas alone and away from everyone once more. The clique celebrated and got drunk while praying to their heavenly god for making a poor cuddly clown miserable until the end of his days. Do not give up Clowny.... Justice.... Truth.... it will come to you.... One of these days, Clowny, one of these days. Live strong.

They saved those animals from a much more grotesque death, being eaten alive by a hillbilly clown. Also, I believe it's generally considered a rule to not use any more than three periods if you're doing that f**king pause thing. I...Don't...Know...Why...One...Would...Need...Any...More... Cousin f**ker was probably drunk too, just more like all the time.  Cause he's a clown. Clowns are all suffering alcoholics.

Having being fed up with the evil clique of the Island of Misfit Plushies, Clowny decided to take the might of justice into his own hands. After making some weapons out of the island's materials and eventually made himself the Gun of Justice, a mighty armor piercer designed to wade through entire waves of enemies in a single assault. Upon completing this weapon, Clowny got on a raft of wood and managed to reach the island with ammo in hand. One by one Clowny hunted them down and terminated the evil ones with but a shot to the head which was silenced by a silencer. Within time he took down all of them except for the evil Hunter and the evil Buckey. Seemingly invulnerable to the Gun of Justice, Clowny seemed outmatched until a lightning bolt struck from the sky and hit him, giving him the power to fight the demonic and satanic duo with the might of heaven. Shortly into the battle he defeated the horrendous tyrant and his minion, bring peace to the island once and for all.

How the f**k does a clown know how to build a gun? Like, I honestly have no other question from that entire paragraph besides that. Did this clown minor in weapon smiting in clown college?

The morale of the story is this: If injustice continues for too long use every means in your arsenal to get the evil ones out of power. Remember that evil only prevails when you fail to stop them, so do it.

I think the real morale of the story is, this guy shouldn't write stories, or do drugs.

[TheLoneSpoon]

I was told to read this by my buddy guy who is on this forum. God save us all.

An extremely sad and depressing story I wrote based loosely on real events last Christmas.

How loosely?  As lose as your asshole? No, seriously though, I'm going to rip through this shit.  Cause as I read though this, it wasn't like "What the f**k did I just read?"  It was more like "What the f**k AM I reading?" also, "WHY am I reading this?"  Anyway, I digress, on to the asshole tearing.

Alone on an island in the Tempest Sea is Clowny The Clown, who goes "Clown clown clown" as his catch phrase.

What? Obviously this Clown is either insane or he's a Pokemon.  Also, why the f**k would anyone live on a island in a place called "The Tempest Sea"?  Obviously a sea called that would be in a constant storm. Why would this "Clownly The Clown", if that is his real name choose to live there? Is he suicidal? Is he deranged? Is he both of these things? Or is he simply an idiot? I'm going to assume the latter.

He was among the many on the Island of Misfit Plushy Toys, but even among the unloved exiles he himself was an unloved exile. Six years the cuddly clown doll just tried to make friends, have fun, and live life as a fellow misfit away from the harsh realities of the evil society of the United Prisons that was not far away.

They weren't far away from the "United Prisons", so are these exiles escaped convicts? Was this Clowny a rapist? I'm going to assume so, what with the name "Clownly The Clown." Which is a stupid name, what were his parent's hillbillies? Does that make "Clownly The Clown" (or how I'm going to refer to him from now on "Cousin f**ker.") a redneck hillbilly incestuous criminally deranged clown man whore? Anyway, let's continue on.

Clowny had some friends, but he unintentionally made enemies among the cliques of experience. Using superiority in numbers, the cliques attacked Clowny and spread the rumors while using his easily angered temper against him like a hammer to a nail. The cliques leaders united the island against Clowny based on baseless assumptions and false crimes which were far minor than the atrocities they used against Clowny. Using their mighty corrupted muscle man, poor Clowny was thrown into the sea and was set to sink beneath the waves for years until he washed up on shore onto an unknown desert island where he was all alone. Poor Clowny, now a sad little clown wronged by the manipulators of the many that harvest them like sheep while wearing a mask of kindness. This happened so easily because no "sane" person takes clowns seriously. Live on Clowny........ Live on. We root for you.

The TLDR verson: "Whine, whine, whine, sandy vagina."

Clowny the clown found himself alone on an island in the Tempest Sea for many a year until he eventually found a kitten and a puppy. These two baby animals were all alone on the island as well with nobody but Clowny to take care of them. With that he felt happy and named them Truth and Justice, respectively. However, using the powers of darkness the evil clique members from the Island of Misfit Plushy Toys discovered Clowny's new-found happiness and became enraged to no end.

Considering Cousin f**ker's background, I'm rather surprised he didn't eat the cat and dog.  I'm also surprised that he knew exactly what truth and justice mean, considering his general lack of a formal education, being a hillbilly clown and all.

Watsy: GAAAAAAAH! WHY IS HE HAPPY!? GAAAAAAAAH! CLOWNY MUST NEVER BE HAPPY FOR IT WILL SPELL LAMENESS FOR EVERYTHING!
Mikey 79: How can he possibly function in society? We attacked him to no end for no good reason and he's STILL alive! The end of the world and my vinyl collection are at stake!
Franky: He has to be stopped or else bad things will happen. I should know, everything I say is the truth.
Spirit Dragon: We need to separate him from his loved ones, only then can good triumph over these issues!
Mr. 3000: HERMY NER! DURKA LER! LETS SCRAMBLE UP THEM RETARDO DARE SO HE CAN BE GONE DUNKA DUR!
Ty: Can it, pet, and don't you dare pull the "I'm Asian" card again. Anyway, I suggest to make a typical spam statement that makes me look funny and then go murder the emo kid. Buckey, what say you?
Buckey: Well it is my job to stop you guys from ganging up on one person as rule 11 states it, but it is easier to punish one person instead of giving punishment to everyone who should be punished for rule breaking so go ahead and bring Hunter with you. I mean really, who's going to tell me otherwise, an Ekans?
Hunter: You guys HAVE to be right I mean you are the MAJORITY and NOT the minority even though I SHOULD look at it from the minority point of view BUT I don't.

I'm not going to lie, I kind of skipped reading it cause it looked really stupid. I HOPE THERES NOTHING IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT OF THIS RICH NARRATIVE IN THERE.

The evil clique was off to do their heinous actions against Clowny upon going to the Graveyard and collecting a variety of old and rusty weapons. They swam off into the ocean to find Clowny's island. Later that morning, Clowny woke up from his slumber only to find an extremely grizzly sight. While he was sleeping, the clique had come to the island and torn both Truth and Justice to pieces and used their remains to decorate a now blood stained Christmas tree with a message in the sand that said "STOP BEING HAPPY YOU RETARDED TROLL! XD" With such a horrible thing that just happened to him, Clowny became depressed again as he would spend his Christmas alone and away from everyone once more. The clique celebrated and got drunk while praying to their heavenly god for making a poor cuddly clown miserable until the end of his days. Do not give up Clowny.... Justice.... Truth.... it will come to you.... One of these days, Clowny, one of these days. Live strong.

They saved those animals from a much more grotesque death, being eaten alive by a hillbilly clown. Also, I believe it's generally considered a rule to not use any more than three periods if you're doing that f**king pause thing. I...Don't...Know...Why...One...Would...Need...Any...More... Cousin f**ker was probably drunk too, just more like all the time.  Cause he's a clown. Clowns are all suffering alcoholics.

Having being fed up with the evil clique of the Island of Misfit Plushies, Clowny decided to take the might of justice into his own hands. After making some weapons out of the island's materials and eventually made himself the Gun of Justice, a mighty armor piercer designed to wade through entire waves of enemies in a single assault. Upon completing this weapon, Clowny got on a raft of wood and managed to reach the island with ammo in hand. One by one Clowny hunted them down and terminated the evil ones with but a shot to the head which was silenced by a silencer. Within time he took down all of them except for the evil Hunter and the evil Buckey. Seemingly invulnerable to the Gun of Justice, Clowny seemed outmatched until a lightning bolt struck from the sky and hit him, giving him the power to fight the demonic and satanic duo with the might of heaven. Shortly into the battle he defeated the horrendous tyrant and his minion, bring peace to the island once and for all.

How the f**k does a clown know how to build a gun? Like, I honestly have no other question from that entire paragraph besides that. Did this clown minor in weapon smiting in clown college?

The morale of the story is this: If injustice continues for too long use every means in your arsenal to get the evil ones out of power. Remember that evil only prevails when you fail to stop them, so do it.

I think the real morale of the story is, this guy shouldn't write stories, or do drugs.

I feel so honored.

[RazorSlash]

f**k you

What the f**k did you just f**king say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f**k out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f**king words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, f**ker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're f**king dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f**king tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're f**king dead, kiddo.

oh so sry

It's cool bro

[BANE]

Sandy vaginas eh? Takes me back to my discomfort fetish days...

Anyway, cousin f**ker is actually the nickname I've recently given my new dog, who has the unfortunate habit of ejaculating on every dog he sees. He's a rather large Newfoundlander, so I think the tiny neighbour poodle is going to be crusty for a little while. Thus, when I saw you type those very words, I immediately thought "Jizz....Jizz EVERYWHERE! No Benji! Bad Dog! Think, you fool! Your dick's bigger than that entire animal!". Then I remembered I'm on the internet and I could find some human se...

Nevermind. Welcome to the forum, good first post, I'm going to go unwind.

By blowing a load.

Of boogers into a tissue, you dirty minded freak.

Plus ejaculate.

Sorry, that's the cold again. I meant I'll be having chocolate.

Which my girlfriend will lick off my cock.

Sorry, Wok. I'm making vietnamese now.

[SpaceMarines]

Just stick away from tube socks, man.

[RazorSlash]

You say that as if he'll actually listen.

[SpaceMarines]

Yeah. I just feel I gotta, whether or not it makes a difference.

[BANE]

I'm Listening.