Things you just hate in the world

[SM]

Quite.

But I still can't sympathize with them because they can't pick up the phone and dial 9/11, or walk down to the station.

You can't sympathise with a woman living in fear of her life or her children's life if she tries to leave?

And what with the current legal system being totally in favour of the female in a divorce settlement as it is, the abuse should get the woman a healthy sum of money. Or, if they're boyfriend and girlfriend, she can sue him for assault. Still a bunch of money with which to kickstart a job search and/or a new life.

If only she could walk into court and get a divorce just like that and build a new life tomorrow, and the husband would accept the decision and not try to find and punish her.

What is this magical utopia in which you live?

[DoomRulz]

Then you need to research more into battered women instead of viewing it on a purely superficial level.

I have done research into it, the damn information was forced onto me in my schooling. Yet when I got beat up in school or was threatened with knives and death threats, I don't care: I go to the teacher and/or police. I can understand what they're going through solely based on the information I was given: it's horrible. But I still can't sympathize with them because they can't pick up the phone and dial 9/11, or walk down to the station.

And what with the current legal system being totally in favour of the female in a divorce settlement as it is, the abuse should get the woman a healthy sum of money. Or, if they're boyfriend and girlfriend, she can sue him for assault. Still a bunch of money with which to kickstart a job search and/or a new life.

Wow, you really think it's that easy? You know nothing of psychology or what trauma can actually do to a person. That's like saying why don't war vets go see a shrink if they suffer from shell shock.

[SM]

Speaking of that, why would a solider do a tour, have a horrible experience, and then sign up for another one?  On the surface it's similar to a woman staying with an abusive husband.  Makes no sense.

Unless you really look into it.

[DrGediman]

That's violence to you? I'm sure all the millions of abused women in this world would agree with you.

What I find most interesting about the majority of those types of cases is that the abused women continue to stay with their partner even as the abuse continues to get worse and worse. I mean, I know it may be very rude of me to say this, but I really find it hard (even though I should) to sympathize with these women when the majority of them don't leave the relationship or tell someone.

They don't leave the relationship because the love the abuse.  They LOVE it.  It turns them on.

[BANE]

If you still think it's as easy for them as just walking to the police station then it doesn't seem like you paid much attention to the information.

I paid quite a lot of attention, actually. The husband has to leave for his job or for an errand sooner or later. Perfect timing to enter police protection.

You can't sympathise with a woman living in fear of her life or her children's life if she tries to leave?

Children throw a whole other loophole into the situation. But I can't sympathize with people who can't do a damn thing for themselves. Sure, they're being abused. But it's a gradual process, a gradual increase in severity, and it's their inability to see the changes and act upon them that I don't sympathize with at all. Oh, my husband smacked me for no reason while watching television. Nothing wrong here. Oh, he punched me in the face for walking with my shoes untied. Normal life.

If only she could walk into court and get a divorce just like that and build a new life tomorrow, and the husband would accept the decision and not try to find and punish her.

I would think there are legal and punitive measures which law enforcement can take to prevent such things...if not, then I take it back.

I just fail to see why these women can't recognize the gradual signs. I really can't sympathize with them in that case. Sure, I think what's being done to them is horrible. But really? You can't notice the violent changes and address then yourself before they escalate?

But whatever. I don't want to start into a several page debate on women abuse. I've had enough of these controversial-topic debates and they just end up getting my heart rate up...even on the internet.

[SM]

Which comes back to you not being able to comprehend the whole deal around spousal abuse.

[BANE]

I understand it perfectly. It's a gradual process which the woman is unable to see happening.

[SM]

Which would indicate you don't understand it "perfectly".

[BANE]

Okay then, enlighten me.

EDIT: You know what? f**k it. I feel bad for them, even if I think they're useless for not seeing the patterns.

[SM]

I look like a school teacher?  You are currently using the greatest information tool ever created.  I'm sure you can Ggoogle "why do women stay with abusive men".

[BANE]

I edited my last post.

And I did google it just now. This enlightened me quite a bit. I still think that they shouldn't shrug off the inital attack so easily, and/or not act on further attacks.

[SiL]

They don't leave the relationship because the love the abuse.  They LOVE it.  It turns them on.

How's it goin', Gameoverman?

[First Blood]

They don't leave the relationship because the love the abuse.  They LOVE it.  It turns them on.

Are you serious? You think it's some sadomasochistic relationship??

[SM]

I still think that they shouldn't shrug off the inital attack so easily, and/or not act on further attacks.

Don't often don't act rationally in such situations.

[DoomRulz]

They don't leave the relationship because the love the abuse.  They LOVE it.  It turns them on.

How's it goin', Gameoverman?

I'm sure the man's joking, Reba.