Renegade Justice (aka Urban Justice (aka Seagal Kills 50 Black Guys))Steven Seagal sure has had quite the career, hasn't he? He's a dojo owner turned fight instructor, turned actor, turned environmentalist, turned singer, turned lord of the straight-to-video realm. Say what you will about his many
terrible performances, but you can't say he hasn't made the most of his working life. And so now, in his twilight years, it's a little sad to see the Anti-Buddha stuck in this rut of one terrible STV flick after another, with him being plagued by bad dubbing and body doubles throughout them. But then along came
Renegade Justice in 2007; promising to take the Fat Lord back to his lethal avenger roots with a very much back-to-basics revenge plotline. But was it really the glorious second (or third) coming of The Seagull? Well...
So Seagal's young vice cop son (who looks like a creepy Mark Wahlberg impersonator) gets killed, and Seagal makes it his mission to "find the mothafocka who killed mah surn". Seriously, he talks like that. I often wonder if the man even has an accent he can call his own any more. But to give Steven credit, he whispers all his own lines himself without any jarring dubbing to be heard (although he does shout at one point. Very suspicious indeed). Along for the ride is his massive, all-encompassing leather coat that... honestly doesn't help to hide how much weight he's put on
at all. Tragically, the pony tail could not take part in this adventure, so Seagal instead tries out his horrible quasi-mullet look and fails. Boo.
In order to accomplish his mission, our Lord moves into the most nightmarish corner of suburbia imaginable (where everyone and their dog talks in
gangsta') and begins kicking black people in the balls. A lot. When he grows tired of destroying gangbanger testicles, he shoots black people instead (many black men died to bring us this mediocrity). Now, I'll get to the fight sequences in a moment, but I have to mention the gun battles first. Whenever Steven shoots someone, they fall down in a dodgy frame-by-frame slow motion manner. Ev-ery-sin-gle-time. I-ma-gine-if-I-typed-the-whole-rev-iew-like-this. A-nnoy-ing,-is-n't-it? I think only three dudes died in regular-mo. And as well as all that (and rather amusingly), the blood squibs are not only massive, but also purple in colour. It's like all the characters are full of that "mood slime" from
Ghostbusters II.
But of course, all anyone really watches a Seagal movie for is the aikido fight scenes. So how are they here? Well, they're there alright. There are a good number of dust-ups and it's actually quite refreshing to see Lord Steven do them by himself. That's right, no stunt doubles! Or at least none that I could see. In fact it's a bit unsettling to see Steven so active. But it's a shame that they're edited so hyper-kinetically, meaning we can't really appreciate all the thuds, chops and slaps like we could in his golden days. And (somewhat inevitably), they're all absurdly one-sided. The Seagal is like an unstoppable, triple chinned force of nature throughout. And it all ends with a fight that is, amazingly, even more in Seagal's favour than his Gino – "I wear a beret to work" – Felino vs. Richie – "Imma gunna git screwed" – Madano showdown from
Out For Justice.
What's most surprising about
Renegade Justice, however, is just how simplistic the whole film is. This is revenge, pure and simple. There's absolutely no strings attached, so you don't have to worry about any preachy messages bogging down the violence (yes, I am glaring at you,
The Patriot). This extends to Steve's character, who has no moral qualms about whatever he does, however brutal it may be. As a result, his character manages to become quite dull (even for Steven!). It would have been nice for him to have had something of a personality, rather than just STEVE SNAP!!! For example, having knocked one hoodlum clean out, he calmly squats down and breaks the thug's back. Bit much, maybe?
Is
Renegade Justice a good straight-to-video effort from Seagal? Well, no. The film is murky and unpleasant, and at times extremely boring (someone who's seen this must have fallen asleep during the very embodiment of tedium that was that car chase!). Events never seem to become entertaining. Whilst it is a relief to see Steve doing something a little (read: a lot) more old school in nature, especially after watching him bend time and space in
Belly of the Beast, the film is still so annoyingly sub-par that there's virtually nothing to recommend about it. There's a little ray of hope coming from Eddie Griffin's oddly barmy villain, but he only keeps the film from becoming terrible. Not even a Danny Trejo cameo (the movie's best bit) can help it that much. "Meh" has never rung so true.
Just... go and watch
Marked for Death instead. At least then you'll get evil Jamaicans.
