I didn't even read the last couple of pages and I have Aspie blocked, but I'm assuming hes being a dick to somebody?
Just a guess.
Either way, Sexy Poot to the rescue!
After 3 Walmarts, 3 Targets, a Toys R Us and Gamestop (whyd I even bother) I finally found a Wii U.
Spoiler
Its goddamn awesome.