"You've been listening to WRTN. Subsidiary of the Alien News Network."
"And now, a message from one of our sponsors".
"Hello, I'm Mark Rolston. Is your sh*t fruity? Do you find yourself in need of slippers before you're even halfway alert? Well, here at Rolston Cryogenics we say that's just unnecessary. Our state of the art LV-426 cryo-pods offer unrivaled stasis performance, with all the creature comforts our customers have come to expect. Internal temperature regulators and multiple interior options allow for complete customization of your sleep space. We also offer our own line of pre-designed theme-pods. Are you a horror fan? Well we've got you covered with our Grade-4 Iron Maiden.
(Slams lid on demonstration occupant. Screaming is heard).
So if you're tired of the same ol' same old, tell your superior officer to get their stripes down to our show room and we'll hook you up. Because remember, it might just be a big box, but you're the one that's goin' in it".