The Pillowfighting Thread (Random Text Battles, Very Fun!)

Started by scarhunter92, Jan 31, 2010, 08:54:18 PM

Author
The Pillowfighting Thread (Random Text Battles, Very Fun!) (Read 635,662 times)

Dovahkiin

*Turns to Lie*

ANIME GUY?!?! YOU WERE A PILE OF GLORIOUS ASHES!!!

RagingDragon

Appears and doubles over, clutching at stomach. Suddenly lurches upright and shrieks, screams, a long and piercing wail. Stomach bursts with cyst-like clumps of green particulate matter, an algae or bacteria of some sort. It spreads with an unprecedented speed, crawling across the metal like a living thing, an abomination...


Charles Xavier

Charles Xavier

#10937
Strangefate's towers have been left deserted and abandoned for days. A lone Joe Trooper appears and picks up Strangefate's severed head concealed within his helmet. He quietly walks away into an underground lair.

Down there, a ritual takes place. Joes, Autobots, Cobras and Decepticons line up in an assembly where Strangefate's head lies.



Crystal Ball steps forward in deep meditation, seeking the lost spirit of their master. He opens his eyes after discovering it. He draws it back to Hell where his minions await him.

Soon, the helmet rises and out from the ground, so does the body of Strangefate. Cries of joy and relief greet Dr. Strangefate as he has been resurrected.

"I live...again." Dr. Strangefate says, quoting an Evil Dead line. "Now to settle some unfinished business."

A few days later...

Whilst Lie and Dovah are conversing, a blinding light shines down upon them from the skies. Down descends Dr. Strangefate accompanied by Cyclonus, Scourge and a small army of Sweeps.






"Greetings, gentlemen," he says, carrying in his arms a Martian like ray gun, "No please, hold your applauses, coming back to life wasn't that hard. Getting out of hell though, well, that's another story."

Lie and Dovah remain silent.

"Ahem, to the point," Strangefate continues, glancing at his gun, "here you see Dr: Mindbender's latest invention. Now, now, this is no killing machine. In fact, it is something far much better. And you two will be the first guinea pigs to try it out. Observe!"

Strangefate zaps both of them, transforming them into savage, vicious, bearded, bloodthirsty Scotsmen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oXpc-59Cdo#

5 minutes later...



Lie and Dovah are tqken back into Hell, into an underground wrestling ring just below Strangefate's owers. His army, who are cheering both of them on as spectators, surround them.

Dr. Strangefate is seen sitting casually on his throne far from the ring.

"Now gentlemen, I'd like to play a little game. Both of you must fight each other to the death; no weapons, no guns, no magic, no back-ups, nothing. You must kill with your cold bare hands. Whoever wins will be free to leave and will inherit one of my old towers for residence, plus a sum of 6 trillion dollars IN CASH.

Tomax and Xamot hold the suitcase of cash beside Strangefate.



Lie and Dovah notice metallic ring collars locked around their necks.



"Oh, and if any of you gentlemen attempt to escape this gruesome match, then thosecollars will cut off your heqds clean off, which would be most unpleasant."

The crowd grows impatient and cheers on for Lie and Dovah to fight.

"Remember, only your hands can save you if you wish to stay alive. It's survival of the fittest here. Now...BEGIN!"



Zarana rings the bell. Joes and Autobots have placed their bets on Lie to win, while Cobras and Decepticons have theirs on Dovah.

Lie and Dovah wrestle savagely and fall to the ground. Their very survival depends on the outcome of this match.

Dovahkiin

*Dovahkiin throws lie and looks around, being filled with rage that he is once again being made the guinea pig of some sick experiment. As his rage increases, his power increases as well. He begins to roar with anger as he transforms into his Badass psycho form. Since he doesn't try to escape while he transforms, Dovahkiin's collar doesnt decapitate him. Instead, as his neck grows, it breaks the collar.*

I will not be made an experiment of again...But you wanted him...YOU...GOT HIM!!! RRRAAAAGHHH!!!!

*Dovahkiin jumps off the stage and begins mercilessly slaughtering anyone in his line of sight. Among the most gruesome kills is where he pick's up a joe and cobra and smashes them together several times before crushing their heads together and using the "head ball" to destroy a decepticon. Dovahkiin looks up and sees Strangefate.*

THE SKY WILL RAIN BLOOD AND MEAT AND YOU WILL BE HERE TO SEE EVERYTHING!!!

*Dovahkiin throws a buzzaxe with dynamite strapped to it. It explodes, sending Strangefate flying out of his throne.*

Novak 1334

Novak having missed everything, is on the run.  Being pursued across country by Deadpool on a mountain bike.  He's still no closer to finding out who's pineapple he's carrying, nor does he know what transpired at Strangefate's tower.  Hearing Dovahkiin's cry of rage he breaks cover, only for Deadpool to dismount and pursue on foot!

"Wade seriously, I mentioned in my review you were the only good part of Origins!  Stop swinging that sword at me! It's not funny anymore!"

Charles Xavier

Charles Xavier

#10940
Dr. Strangefate gets up frantically and fetches his ray gun, zapping both Dovah and Lie with it. Both transform back into Scotsmen again with red beards and kilts, and are ordered to leave.



Bagpipes are played. Lie and Dovah, one arm raised, march out of Strangefate's HQ through the back door and out of Hell, making for the Scottish mountains.

"And what's this?"

Strangefate looks at a security vid and sees Novak being chased by Deadpool.

"Bring them both in here. Our fight isn't over yet."

1 hour later...

Novak is stuck in the wrestling ring with Deadpool, both wearing neck collars and forced to fight for their lives.

Strangefate returns to his throne and claps his hands.

"Let the battle continue."

Zarana rings the bell again.

He watches as Deadpool takes the first swing at Novakwith his sword, who is still holding his pineapple.

Lie

*Breaks marching formation and jumps down the side of a cliff changing clothes while falling and grapples onto the side of the cliff*


Dova can get himself out, I'll move on my ones for now.

Dovahkiin

I HAVE A BEARD?!?!?!?! I'LL NEVER HAVE A BEARD!!! THE ONLY BEARD I'LL EVER HAVE WILL BE ONE MADE OF THE FLESH AND BLOOD OF MY MOST BELIVED BABY!!!

*tears beard off*

KiramidHead

Quote from: Dovahkiin on Jul 13, 2013, 02:42:49 AM
I HAVE A BEARD?!?!?!?! I'LL NEVER HAVE A BEARD!!! THE ONLY BEARD I'LL EVER HAVE WILL BE ONE MADE OF THE FLESH AND BLOOD OF MY MOST BELIVED BABY!!!

*tears beard off*

I'll decorate my mantle with it.

Lie

Wow, to think this place is dead WITHOUT Charles... Sheeeeiit.

Dovahkiin

Yeeeah. It used to not be. I miss those days.

Charles Xavier

Charles Xavier

#10946
A finger taps Dovah's shoulder from behind. It's Road Pig.

"Special telegram from Dr. Strangefate down from Hell. You have..."



Road Pig bashes Dovah against the wall and picks him up. He walks over to a nearby drum can filled with toxic waste and dunks Dovah in it, drowning him like this poor fellow:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36HKO408oa4#ws

Road Pig leaves, leaving his half-submerged body to rot.

Elsewhere...



Rugrat enters Lie's house and goes to his bathroom where he finds Lie taking a shower. He offers a 'kind' message to Lie on behalf of Strangefate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzKAut3sVrw#

Rugrat leaves him bloodied and bruised in his bathroom.

Dovahkiin

*Dovahkiin emerges from toxic waste, growling a look of murder in his eyes. He has been mutated by the toxic waste and he is extremely angry.*

I FEEL THE AGONY! IT'S ALL INSIDE MY HEAD! AUUGH GETITOUTGETITOUT!!!

*Jams a buzz saw blade into his own skull.*



BETTER.

*Dovahkiin walks out of the toxic waste.*

Ghost Rider

What the hell kind of madness is this?

Dovahkiin

THE KILLING IS SO WONDERFUL!!! LIKE A MOTHER'S LOVING EMBRACE BEFORE YOU USE THE HOT FIRE POKER TO PRODUCE SWEET SCREAMS OF ECSTASY!!!

*Looks at Ghost Rider*

I'm sorry for this, but I can only control him for a short while. What I meant to say was...urgh...ah...YAAAADO YOU WISH TO PARTAKE THE THE BAPTISM OF BLOOD?!?!

AvPGalaxy: About | Contact | Cookie Policy | Manage Cookie Settings | Privacy Policy | Legal Info
Facebook Twitter Instagram YouTube Patreon RSS Feed
Contact: General Queries | Submit News