Titan Books Unveils Novels Aliens: Vasquez By Author V. Castro

[Xenomrph]

No no, that's way too interesting, I want infinite meetings about, like, the logistics of shipping appropriately-nutritious foodstuffs to space stations or the importance of adequately stress-testing spaceship engines or some shit. Include a 70-page rambling fillibuster in front of the United Americas congress where he listens to some politician talk ad nauseum about the importance of starship atmosphere air mixtures being a certain percentage of different gases.

Edit-- maybe end the book with the last page being him going into a meeting about extraterrestrials. Never write a sequel to the book, to give the reader the most ridiculous set of literary blue balls ever.

[BlueMarsalis79]

250 pages of him dealing with the fallout of "Oh I guess there were aliens after all" and the legislative and operational changes needed to handle these situations more appropriately in the future.

Then when WY closes Fiorina 161 and tries to withhold information about the fate of the Sulaco team, he personally spearheads the cause to make an example of WY's corporate overreach. This results in massive sell-offs of WY stock that tank their value and make them susceptible to be bought by Wal-Mart.

Would genuinely dig this.

[SiL]

Yeah I'll be honest the more I wrote the more I realised that wouldn't be a completely awful story.

But then I'm the kind of person who thinks Solaris is a fun read and that's 90% people reading textbooks about a fictional planet.

[Local Trouble]

Any novel about Van Leuwen would inevitably turn him into a mustache-twirling villain who's in bed with WeyYu and probably knew all about SO937.

[SiL]

That's why you have it written by people who have actually seen the movie.

[Local Trouble]

That's why you have it written by people who have actually seen the movie.

That's exactly the kind of radical idea that makes us all look like toxic fans.  If it wasn't for ignoring the movies, we'd have never gotten a third cryotube on the Narcissus!

[Wweyland]

Aliens: Van Leuwen is basically writing itself.

Any novel about Van Leuwen would inevitably turn him into a mustache-twirling villain who's in bed with WeyYu and probably knew all about SO937.

Like Alien: River of Pain did for the bored Hadley's Hope leads? I hated that.

[Local Trouble]

Aliens: Van Leuwen is basically writing itself.

Any novel about Van Leuwen would inevitably turn him into a mustache-twirling villain who's in bed with WeyYu and probably knew all about SO937.

Like Alien: River of Pain did for the bored Hadley's Hope leads? I hated that.

I have never read that book.

[SiL]

Aliens: Van Leuwen is basically writing itself.

Any novel about Van Leuwen would inevitably turn him into a mustache-twirling villain who's in bed with WeyYu and probably knew all about SO937.

Like Alien: River of Pain did for the bored Hadley's Hope leads? I hated that.

They did what now

[Corporal Hicks]

It introduced new WY scientists that were a little mustache-twirly.

[Xenomrph]

Yeah I'll be honest the more I wrote the more I realised that wouldn't be a completely awful story.

But then I'm the kind of person who thinks Solaris is a fun read and that's 90% people reading textbooks about a fictional planet.

I really liked Solaris too.

That's why you have it written by people who have actually seen the movie.

That's exactly the kind of radical idea that makes us all look like toxic fans.  If it wasn't for ignoring the movies, we'd have never gotten a third cryotube on the Narcissus!

Canon.

[Local Trouble]

It introduced new WY scientists that were a little mustache-twirly.

Did they report directly to Van Leuwen?

[Corporal Hicks]

Not that I remember!

[VeteranSergeant]

Like Alien: River of Pain did for the bored Hadley's Hope leads? I hated that.

I have never read that book.

You should let it remain that way. It's the worst, or second-worst of the Titan Books Alien novels. Completely brain dead, and completely incompatible, canonically, with the second film unless you handwave more than one of those inflatable auto dealership guys. Has a fun love triangle with Newt's mom and a Colonial Marine officer. Oh, and it has more Colonial Marines stationed at Hadley's Hope than are sent to investigate why they have lost contact with them, lol.

"Sir, we lost contact with the rifle platoon stationed at Hadley's Hope."

"Hmm. Very strange. Send one squad to find out why."

[SiL]

Ok screw it, Aliens: Van Leuwen is now Commando in space, except he's trying to rescue his professional credibility, not his daughter. The climax is him single handedly raiding WY headquarters, cutting down waves of WY PMCs until he finally impales Bishop II with a steam pipe.

It apparently would not be the most ridiculous officially licensed story.