In The News

[Kimarhi]

Putin needs his citizens to have guns for when 'Merica comes bringing FREEDOM with it.

[Rong]

Or when the Chinese run out of food.

[Cvalda]

The alcohol content of Russian flesh is so high that it's inedible. The Chinese won't make a move on that front.

They've got some reserves in North Korea, anyway. I assume that's why they support them.

[BANE]

I never trusted Putin the moment I heard he had once been in the KGB. I read in a Stalin biography that the KGB , after 1948, required all its members to have their big toenail replaced by a mini computer/tracker. Technology having improved as it has, I can't help but think that Putin knows more about everyone than anyone.

[Kimarhi]

BIONIC SPETZNAZ.

[Rong]

The alcohol content of Russian flesh is so high that it's inedible. The Chinese won't make a move on that front.

They've got some reserves in North Korea, anyway. I assume that's why they support them.

True did read that some bullshit high percentage of Russian men die before 55 due to vodka consumption.

Re Nk, they're starving already.

I never trusted Putin the moment I heard he had once been in the KGB. I read in a Stalin biography that the KGB , after 1948, required all its members to have their big toenail replaced by a mini computer/tracker. Technology having improved as it has, I can't help but think that Putin knows more about everyone than anyone.

I'm pretty sure he worked in communications @ the KGB aswell.

[Cvalda]

Re Nk, they're starving already.

Leaner meat.

[BANE]

There's alot of crazy stuff in the book about the KGB. Apparently they used to cut the tails off of goats and use them as ponytails for their own heads, as a subtle means of identification. Also, there was speculation that they were doing research onto retractable elbow extensions to improve hand to hand combat, but apparently that was scrapped.

The weirdest thing, though, was that they were studying jellyfish to see if they could be changed and morphed into masks for their field operatives, with the rationale that in a tense situation they could double as both weapon (a biological taser) and food. Unfortunately the first few attempts at this were enough to scrap the project, given that the jellyfish had to be alive and were eating the hair of the KGB volunteers.

[Cvalda]

Hahaha. Oh, BANE.

[Rong]

There's alot of crazy stuff in the book about the KGB. Apparently they used to cut the tails off of goats and use them as ponytails for their own heads, as a subtle means of identification. Also, there was speculation that they were doing research onto retractable elbow extensions to improve hand to hand combat, but apparently that was scrapped.

The weirdest thing, though, was that they were studying jellyfish to see if they could be changed and morphed into masks for their field operatives, with the rationale that in a tense situation they could double as both weapon (a biological taser) and food. Unfortunately the first few attempts at this were enough to scrap the project, given that the jellyfish had to be alive and were eating the hair of the KGB volunteers.

Lol it sounds like you just made that up while you were writing it.... It is the KGB though.

[Kimarhi]

Bane made it all up and meanwhile DARPA is taking notes.

[BANE]

Hahaha. Oh, BANE.

I think what you mean is 'hahaha, Oh Stalin'.

Lol it sounds like you just made that up while you were writing it.... It is the KGB though.

Ok, I have the book in my hand, here's a quote:

"In the Fall of 1950, five years after the official end of the second World War and a year after the Berlin Blockade that began the Cold War, Stalin personally granted the People's Commisar of State Security, Vsevolod Merkulov, $50 million dollars (an enormous sum for a research grant at the time) to look into improving covert operations in the United States using animal biology. In the months that followed, numerous concepts were considered, including:

- Taking enzymes from giraffe necks to help field agents see over tall, secret US walls
- Reconnecting nerve fibers from the occipital lobe in the human brain to artificially implanted eagle eyes in the back of the head, so that agents could see what was behind them, thereby avoiding a US sneak attack
- Transplanting gorilla fists onto the arms of field operatives, in case the job required something to be smashed
- Retractable cheek extensions. Inspired by the hammerhead shark, the rationale behind this idea was that should multiple US personnel need to be simultaneously clothes-lined and removed from duty, this would provide the perfect, covert means to do so. It was Stalin's realization that they could have simply used their arms that signalled the closing of the program and the withdrawal of all funding."

So yeah, the KGB was pretty weird. 

[Cvalda]

Ok, I have the book in my hand

[BANE]

It's an heirloom...

[Rong]

- Retractable cheek extensions. Inspired by the hammerhead shark, the rationale behind this idea was that should multiple US personnel need to be simultaneously clothes-lined and removed from duty, this would provide the perfect, covert means to do so. It was Stalin's realization that they could have simply used their arms that signalled the closing of the program and the withdrawal of all funding."

So yeah, the KGB was pretty weird. 

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