Last Movie You Watched

[KiramidHead]

Godzilla vs King Ghidorah

The time travel plot is bonkers and makes zero sense, and the super speed effects are notably bad next to everything else, but it all somehow works thanks to sheer entertainment value.

Yeah, it stands as one of the most fun experiences I've ever had watching a movie.

And I managed to dig up my essay on it

Spoiler

Oh good Lord, where do I start with this... OK, I'm gonna try and explain the plot of this to anyone who's never seen it. This may take a while.

Right, so some future dudes come back from the future in a UFO and tell Japan that in their time, Japan has been completely wiped out by Godzilla. Being nice guys, they offer to go back in time and stop Godzilla from ever being created to spare them this fate. Our main characters tag along with them and the group travels back to a small Pacific island during WWII. They get rid of the dinosaur living there – the one that would ultimately become Godzilla – but not before it saves some honourable Japanese soldiers from the evil invading Americans (yes, that happens). They teleport the dinosaur under the polar ice cap (because just killing it would be too hard, I guess) to stop him getting inadvertently nuked and becoming a monster, but before leaving the future people sneakily dump three little mutant Furby dragons on the island.

Upon returning to the present, our heroes discover the mutant Furbies have been turned into King Ghidorah by the same nuclear testing that originally created Godzilla, and the future people (who are somehow able to control him) are using him to smash the shit out of Japan. Turns out those naughty future people lied – in their time Japan is actually an economic megapower that basically rules the world, and they hijacked the time machine to come back and destroy them in the past... or something. Not sure why they bothered to enlist the help of the present-day Japanese in this endeavour, rather than just doing it themselves. But anyway, the future dudes are undone when their Japanese team-member (who was apparently fine with this scheme until now) has a change of heart and betrays them. She hatches a plan with the Japanese government to re-create Godzilla using a nuclear submarine they aren't supposed to have in the hopes he will destroy King Ghidorah.

Our heroes are chased by a future android dispatched by the future dudes to stop them, and there's also heavy use of jetpacks to ensure all the sci-fi checkboxes are ticked. The future defector is captured by the android and taken back to the UFO, but her former cohorts apparently elect not to restrain her in any way following her treachery, and thus she promptly reprograms the future android to help her and immediately resumes her plan to save the day.

Before the plan to resurrect Godzilla with nuclear missiles (best sentence ever) can be carried out, it is revealed that he has in fact already been created (again) because a Russian nuclear sub just happened to crash in the exact same spot where the future people had dumped the dinosaur in the past (again begging the question why they didn't just kill it). Godzilla heads to a Ghidorah-ravaged Japan and monster smackdowns ensue. Godzilla gets his ass handed to him until the heroes and the future defector, along with the future android, sabotage the future people's UFO, leaving them unable to control King Ghidorah. King Ghidorah is defeated, and the evil future people are killed by Godzilla. The end, right?

Nope. Godzilla now turns on Japan and begins f*cking shit up big time. So the future defector goes back to the future (where apparently the plan to destroy Japan has been abandoned), finds King Ghidorah's corpse, turns him into Mecha-King Ghidora (shan't ask how that works) and pilots him back in time to fight Godzilla in the ruins of present-day Tokyo. More questions, such as why didn't you travel back to a point before Godzilla trashed half of Japan, arise. Mecha-King Ghidorah eventually emerges from the brawl victorious, crashing into the ocean and taking Godzilla with him. Future heroine returns to her own time, but not before telling one of our heroes she is in fact a descendant of his in an apparently emotional plot twist that adds precisely nothing to the film.

And all that shit happens in one movie.

Seriously, you owe it to yourself to watch this clusterf*ck. Despite only being an hour and forty-five long, with all the shit going on it feels like a three-hour epic. There's so much crazy – the future android in particular is absolutely hysterical pretty much any time it's on screen – and the Swiss-cheese script has plot holes the size of Nebraska. Add to that those classic Godzilla model effects that manage to be both very impressive and utterly terrible all at the same time and you're onto a winner.

I don't even know what score to give this. But it's best taken with a healthy dose of alcohol.

Did I mention the future people are called Futurians?

[close]

Ha, That's pretty on point.

[HuDaFuK]

Ian McShane's performance alone makes it worth watching. He's old school Oscar worthy through the entire series.

Ian McShane is always worth watching.

Could've worked as a series finale (with a little re-writing) if it didn't take place 10 years after the events of the last episode. And if we didn't had to wait more than 10 years to see it.

Some of us won't have to wait 10 years

[Huggs]

Batman Begins (2/5)

I'd always heard it's just the HD-DVD file ported over onto Blu-ray. They weren't kidding. The transfer is just total crap.

[Baron Von Marlon]

Ian McShane is always worth watching.

Then you're in for a special treat.
The first time I saw him was in Deadwood. And he's never been that perfect in anything else since then.
Sure, he's always proper quality. But imo this is Ian McShane at his best.
Think of one of your favorite actors in his best movie, that's how good he is.

Some of us won't have to wait 10 years

True but difference will still be noticeable.

[KiramidHead]

Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II

Action packed and a lot of fun. Probably my favorite version of Mechagodzilla.

Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla

They made this next. And it's baaaad. The film gets to the climax and there's still half an hour of the f**ker left and I just wanted to leave. The best bit is when whatsherface kind of sort of declares her love for the gruff angry guy, and he just hands her his lighter and tells her to fill it up.

[Deathbearer]

Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II

Action packed and a lot of fun. Probably my favorite version of Mechagodzilla.

Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla

They made this next. And it's baaaad. The film gets to the climax and there's still half an hour of the f**ker left and I just wanted to leave. The best bit is when whatsherface kind of sort of declares her love for the gruff angry guy, and he just hands her his lighter and tells her to fill it up.

What do you think of Godzilla vs Destoroyah?

[KiramidHead]

Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II

Action packed and a lot of fun. Probably my favorite version of Mechagodzilla.

Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla

They made this next. And it's baaaad. The film gets to the climax and there's still half an hour of the f**ker left and I just wanted to leave. The best bit is when whatsherface kind of sort of declares her love for the gruff angry guy, and he just hands her his lighter and tells her to fill it up.

What do you think of Godzilla vs Destoroyah?

I like it. I was going to rewatch that one today and round out the Heisei series but SpaceGodzilla pissed me off so much more than I remembered it doing the last time.

[Shasvre]

X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) 5/10



Wasn't really planning on seeing this one, but a friend invited me out for dinner and a movie, so here we are.

Boring, for the most part. I'm sad to say that Sophie Turner lacks the talent to carry the film, especially when struggling with an American accent as well. She's at her best when there are no lines and she get to deliver with her facial expressions alone. In those moments she gets the chance to really shine. But the film lacks a compelling lead and there's not much else to back it up either. Jessica Chastain is a fine actress, that much I know. She's wasted here, on a utterly boring and one dimensional villain.

Even the action doesn't do much for me. There is the occasional scene spread throughout the film, but for most part it lacks any imagination. The whole thing feels... muted. Like it takes place in a bubble where no sound or emotion is allowed to really burst free. I don't know if it was my cinema or if the sound design was really lacking here, but I definitely had an issue with it.  I did enjoy seeing the Phoenix force unleashed however.

Several moments that were supposed to be emotional and/or heartbreaking failed to elicit much of a response from me, sad to say.

I'll just watch The Last Stand the next time.

[Voodoo Magic]

I'll just watch The Last Stand the next time.

[KiramidHead]

Godzilla vs Destroyah

A more than fitting send off for the Heisei era of Godzilla. It ever so slightly trips at the finish, what with the freaking military finishing off the bad guy, but other than that I have no complaints. Oh, and Kazuki Omori once again rips off other movies for his script, but the Aliens inspiration is much less blatant than the stuff from his other movies was.

Godzilla 2000

Not perfect, but I still enjoy this one a lot. It helps it's the only Toho Godzilla I got to see on a big screen, and that's in spite of the endless shit I've gotten from my family over dragging them out to go see it ever since. This was my first time watching the Japanese version, but I think I prefer the dub.

Godzilla vs Megaguirus

This is just bland and not much to write home about. Megaguirus is a decent "new" monster, and Godzilla pulling out a wrestling move in the finale is kind of awesome, but the rest of it is just forgettable. I mean, apart from the plan to get rid of Godzilla being insanely stupid. Sadly, the line about Godzilla's butt hole is dub only.

[Baron Von Marlon]

X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) 5/10

Does Fassbender have a lot of screentime?

[Shasvre]

Does Fassbender have a lot of screentime?

Yes, he has plenty of screen time in the second half of the film.

[First Blood]

Batman (1989)

Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)

[Prez]

Us
Did not expect that 3rd act. I liked it. Not as good as Get Out! but still enjoyable. Jordan Peele is trying to do more with the horror genre and I welcome it. I especially love how he `fixes' all those silly tropes of the genre - in particular that of the helpless and stupid victim.

[KiramidHead]

Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All Out Attack

One of my favorites. It's an interesting, unique take on the series that actually does the mystical elements right while touching on some tough subject matter. And Godzilla's look is just badass here.

Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla

This one is... okay. The idea of Kiryu isn't bad, just not implemented all that well. I honestly found the human drama with Akane more engaging than the monster action. Shame she's barely in the sequel...

Godzilla: Tokyo SOS

An underwhelming sequel. It's basically the last one all over again, just with worse characters and more poorly implemented ideas, only now with a startlingly dogmatic and blood thirsty Mothra thrown into the mix.