In The News

[Cvalda]

It's an heirloom...

I WANNA SEE THE ISBN

[BANE]

- Retractable cheek extensions. Inspired by the hammerhead shark, the rationale behind this idea was that should multiple US personnel need to be simultaneously clothes-lined and removed from duty, this would provide the perfect, covert means to do so. It was Stalin's realization that they could have simply used their arms that signalled the closing of the program and the withdrawal of all funding."

So yeah, the KGB was pretty weird. 

wat

This is how I imagine they pitched it to Stalin:

Spoiler

The two predators are US operatives who are getting a little too nosy. I play the part of the Russian spy with the modified cheeks (my hands in this demonstration). At 0:04 the cheeks begin to extend and are fully extended by 0:06. At 0:07 I clothesline the operatives. I then retreat, look around and retract the cheeks before saying standard Russian gibberish.
http://s839.photobucket.com/user/AintGotTime2Bleed/media/Russia_zpse00a953d.mp4.html

[close]

[Rong]

And the oscar for best Stalinist russian kgb reenactment goes to.....


Bane, and the Predator brothers. 

[Cal427eb]

http://myfox8.com/2014/02/03/woman-79-kills-3-while-backing-out-of-church-parking-space/

Well, damn.

[Cvalda]

Jesus took the wheel.

[Cal427eb]

Someone should have taken the brakes.

[BANE]

There's a "Body and Blood of Christ" joke in here somewhere, just let me find it.

[Crazy Rich]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMPzRXYexLI#

[Shasvre]

Jesus took the wheel.

[First Blood]

There's a "Body and Blood of Christ" joke in here somewhere, just let me find it.

It's all over the parking lot.

[Cvalda]

Jesus took the wheel.

http://imageshack.com/a/img38/598/bog8.jpg

[Rong]

Hahaha

[Cvalda]

This was playing on her radio, I bet.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lydBPm2KRaU‎

[Rong]

lol s'traya conservatives

[DoomRulz]

Hahaha. Oh, BANE.

I think what you mean is 'hahaha, Oh Stalin'.

Lol it sounds like you just made that up while you were writing it.... It is the KGB though.

Ok, I have the book in my hand, here's a quote:

"In the Fall of 1950, five years after the official end of the second World War and a year after the Berlin Blockade that began the Cold War, Stalin personally granted the People's Commisar of State Security, Vsevolod Merkulov, $50 million dollars (an enormous sum for a research grant at the time) to look into improving covert operations in the United States using animal biology. In the months that followed, numerous concepts were considered, including:

- Taking enzymes from giraffe necks to help field agents see over tall, secret US walls
- Reconnecting nerve fibers from the occipital lobe in the human brain to artificially implanted eagle eyes in the back of the head, so that agents could see what was behind them, thereby avoiding a US sneak attack
- Transplanting gorilla fists onto the arms of field operatives, in case the job required something to be smashed
- Retractable cheek extensions. Inspired by the hammerhead shark, the rationale behind this idea was that should multiple US personnel need to be simultaneously clothes-lined and removed from duty, this would provide the perfect, covert means to do so. It was Stalin's realization that they could have simply used their arms that signalled the closing of the program and the withdrawal of all funding."

So yeah, the KGB was pretty weird. 

It's good to know they had money to burn. f**k's sake.