At one point does something usually mildly annoying become a problem?
It has been a little over twenty-four hours since our internet slowed down to near-garbage. It randomly fluctuates in how much it wants to work, and that's pissing me off. One, I've lost progress in my writing several times. Two, various apps on my phone just won't work (Pokémon Duel takes forever to load, and Twitch is buffering like a motherf**ker.) The issue with Twitch is especially annoying because, recently, Alien Theory started streaming, and I've been watching and having good conversations with him. I enjoy that. I've enjoyed his videos for almost a year and I'm glad that I have an opportunity to communicate with him, and he seems to enjoy my company. Twitch buffers and I can't keep watching. It almost feels like I'm being yanked away from a conversation for a stupid reason. Does this sound petty? I know it does. I'm well-aware it does, which is why I've been hesitant on posting this. Right now, I just want to vent, because this problem, which usually rights itself in a few hours, has not resolved itself, and I feel like it never will.
I hate having this mindset where if something doesn't work, it's broken for good, and there's no way to fix it. It's easy for someone to say, "Just don't think that way," but that's easier said than done. This endless loop of working-not-working is akin to nightmares I regularly have where I'm stuck in one location and I have no idea if I'm going to leave. That became a reality when I was in Great Lakes Training Camp: I was stuck, and even though I know boot camp lasts eight weeks (they put me in a push division, which was supposed to be seven weeks), it felt like it was going to last eight months. The recruit program I was in didn't tell me about training setbacks. When I learned about them, and actually experienced one when I failed my run, I became convinced I would fail the run over and over and be stuck in that place for a long, long time. That fear is possibly one of the reasons I failed my second-chance run ("But, Rabbit, you're supposed to use that fear to push yourself forward!") I know. That didn't happen. Separations didn't help, because even though run failures are in there for a short time, only God knows when you get your name called for departure dates.
So, that's my story. I don't know if my Wi-Fi's gonna fix itself, or if it's going to be slow forever, or until I move out, or until someone decides to say that we need to get a new router or whatever the hell controls the Wi-Fi. It's pissing me off for a number of reasons, and I have a manuscript I need to work on that's gonna get set back if this doesn't get fixed.
