The Recess Thread - It's Nothing Personal

[TheSailingRabbit]

He'd never have made it back that evening.

One does not simply taste The Devil's Booty without enduring great suffering.

At least, that's what the old man behind the counter said.

Spoiler

Frost: Think Hudson's OK? He's past curfew.

Drake: He's probably drunk and passed out somewhere.

Wierzbowski: Well, don't just sit there, mate! We should go check on him! And you should do it, Drake, because you're such a dismal arse!

Drake: . . . Fine. I'll go find him.

*ten minutes later*

Drake: *looking traumatized* He'll be OK . . . in the morning.

[close]

[Huggs]

Huggs: *sits in a shadowy corner, smoking a toy pipe, as bubbles float up towards the ceiling*

There be nothin' ye can do fer 'im now.

He's partookin' of The Devil's Booty. Best let it be. He makes it, or he don't.

[TheSailingRabbit]

Huggs: *sits in a shadowy corner, smoking a toy pipe, as bubbles float up towards the ceiling*

There be nothin' ye can do fer 'im now.

He's partookin' of The Devil's Booty. Best let it be. He makes it, or he don't.

Spoiler

Wierzbowski: What happened?

Drake: I . . . can't describe it.

Spunkmeyer: What'd I miss?

Drake: Hudson drinking toxic concoctions in the streets off-base.

[close]

[Huggs]

*Hudson Screams*

Huggs: *Chuckles* He be seein' things now. Things he weren't meant ta see.

[TheSailingRabbit]

*Hudson Screams*

Huggs: *Chuckles* He be seein' things now. Things he weren't meant ta see.

Spoiler

Spunkmeyer: Is this like the time I was sick and had such a high fever I kissed Dietrich? *shudders*

Drake: You weren't having hot sharts.

Spunkmeyer: Yes, I was.

[close]

[Huggs]

*Hudson Sharts*

Huggs: Aye, he be sufferin' now.

*looks at innkeeper*

Mightn't ye have a smidge o' tarpaulin I could drape o'er meself? I got a peculiar distaste for the taste of the devil sharts upon me whiskers. Aye that'll do fine. Reckon the rest of ye ought'n to find some cover, befer you find yourself partookin of the same.

[TheSailingRabbit]

*Hudson Sharts*

Huggs: Aye, he be sufferin' now.

*looks at innkeeper*

Mightn't ye have a smidge o' tarpaulin I could drape o'er meself? I got a peculiar distaste for the taste of the devil sharts upon me whiskers. Aye that'll do fine. Reckon the rest of ye ought'n to find some cover, befer you find yourself partookin of the same.

Imagine trying to explain this situation to Apone.

[Huggs]

I swiped a peek at the lunch schedule for the next couple of weeks.

Spoiler

MONDAY - CEREAL TOAST JUICE, AND A MILK
TUESDAY - STILL WAITING FOR A CALL FROM THE CINNAMON SANDWICH HOT LINE, HEALTHY FRUIT MILK TO DRINK
WEDNESDAY - CINNAMON CEREAL BREAKFAST PIZZA, WITH HOT LINE LUNCHES
THURSDAY - BREAKFAST SAUSAGE MUFFIN, CHICKEN OR PORK GLAZED BABY DRESSING FRUIT
FRIDAY - PIZZA PATTIES AND SWEET BEAN SALAD JUICE
SATURDAY - EGG BURGER ON A TURKEY SANDWICH, BEANS & TUNA SALAD
SUNDAY - FRENCH STICKS, STEAK AND "GRAVY GRILLED" CHICKEN POTATOES, WHOLE GRAIN CHICKEN JUICE

MONDAY - CHICKEN BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES, TOSSED WITH CORN HAM, CHICKEN SMOOTHIES
TUESDAY - SAUSAGE AND CARROT CHICKEN IN OATMEAL SALSA, STEAMED CHEF JUICE
WEDNESDAY - BLUEBERRY AND CHEESE CHICKEN LEGS, SWEET GREEN TUNA, TOMATO JUICE TO DRINK
THURSDAY - CHICKEN TOES, GRILLED SANDWICH FRIES, BAKED TURKEY FRUIT
FRIDAY - SYRUP SOUP WITH PEANUT BUTTER, HASH CORN CHILI SMOTHERED OVER A REFRIED POTATO ROLL

[close]

And I found that old Black Friday Jingle that went missing.

Spoiler

Amazing mace
she must have found
and sprayed it right at me,
I flailed and tossed
fell on the ground
I'm blind
someone help me!

[close]

[TheSailingRabbit]

I have . . . many questions.

[Huggs]

I also found my old drug runner song, which...I'll just throw that one away.

And my old titles:

Former olympic yodeler and extreme unicyclist

Sandwich Champion and Side Dish Enthusiast

Ah, the good ol' days.

Oh, look.

There's a picture of me and Marco Stinko, Uncle Felston and Solomon Grande. We were stationed together onboard The SS Marijuana. I used to bust out my guitar at night and we'd sing "Let It Dangle" on the poopdeck.

And last years menu items:

Spoiler

tender lettuce chips
schnitzel fried creamy bacon bread
toasted beetroot served with crumb sauce
gluten free breast cheese
chopped gravy in lemon tartare
ceasar's choice egg croutons with sauce options
fried lamb sausage in a poached anchovie salad
garlic squid mixture with hot rice peppercorns
tender sea chili and tossed herb aioli
Tossed Jim with homemade peanut shoots
asian onion bean crispies
greek garden bowl with spanish crumblers
chocolate curd berries
double pie creamies with toasted white coconut
macerated brulee chips
sensational mint twists
california juice pickles
calico bean slaw
mandarin brown tidbits
steamed corn riblet
meatballs and roasted apple chicken wrap
black chicken cocktails with fruit salsa
creamy carrot rolls
juicy bun-baked zucchini
100% green nuggets
hot gratin raisins
beef and meatball cowboy salad cup
diced tatersticks
chopped bean pilaf
syrup wedgies & shredded banana balls
meat ranch pizza crackers
beef guajillo
balsamic tinga beans
grass fed chicken odavada
shrimp farm nixtamals
captain jeff's wild fish combo
captain jacks stone fried scallions

[close]

[TheSailingRabbit]

I don't want to know what half that stuff is.

[Huggs]

And here's that old program from the theater:

Madame Fart Alos and Alonzo Schmeerzborg in "Midnight on Hooties Rock"

And

Hokie Thunderbles as Mrs. Blernsen in "Stop That Man!"
Co-Starring Swish Gloffman as The Incredible Chuck Mansisco
Claude Lipstenhand as Bocco "the shoes" Fundichi aka Molly Fat Lips
And Poobla Espanyazee as General Kissapoo

That was a great double feature.

And a copy of my acceptance speech to the Dutch Moose Hunters Association:

"And I shall display them with pride as I march anon, singing odes of victory and wielding the staff of the odin venison! I'll look awful intimidating with my plushies and mooshead stick and all whatnot"

Remember? They served me a soothing vinaigrette known locally as The Devil's Dandruff. That was totally worth the trip.

[TheSailingRabbit]

[Huggs]

Well, you know what they say?

When life gives you lessons, make lessonade.

Like this guy here. "Meet the man that married his own buttcheeks". Now that's an attention grabber. And since it's in a circus flyer, you know it's the real McCoy.

[TheSailingRabbit]

*digs under swings*