It literally was a dark and stormy night. C'mon. Gather around and let Huggs tell ya a story.
Twas the night before dropping, when all through ship
Not a person was stirring, just a birdie that dipped.
The weapons were stored on the wall racks with care,
In hopes that Xenomorphs, wouldn't be there.
The soldiers were nestled all snug in their pods
While visions of poontang, danced in their nogs.
And Sarge with his cigar, and Hudson's cold feet
Were ready for coffee, and a corny bread treat.
When out of the silence, there arose a slight beep
And lights flickered on to end their long sleep.
They whined and they b*tched as they walked to the lockers
They put on their onesies, their beanies and Dockers.
With a wink of the eye and a slap to the face
They were ready to stomp on the alien race.
And at last when the preps were all prepped in their places
The Sarge looked around at the well chiseled faces.
On Vasquez, on Spunkmeyer, on Hudson and Crowe
Get your @$$ on the ready line, shag it, let's go.
Downward they fell, with a hoot and a grin
And a commander that knew not his @$$ from his chin.
Then they landed and spread in a well sperced dispersion
And bypassed a door that took little coercion.
With big holes in the floor and a hamster or two
It was scary as sh*t for this new arrived crew.
When out of D Block there arose such a clatter,
They sprang to the hallway, to see what was the matter.
And a kid darted out as quick as a flash
Then she bit and she jerked and crawled into the trash
With the colonists found and a heat that was dry
They walked into the hive, no-one knew they would die
With a knife and a squeeze of the Bill Paxton balls
They retreated and fled from the secreted walls
But a ramp that was down caused their sh*t to turn fruity
So they salvaged and hid, as Hicks assumed duty
And the pressure doors smacked from the alien heads
As little girls slept away in their beds
But a dog meated deadman with a hugger or two
Tried to screw them all over, before anyone knew
And as darkness gave way to a big f*ckin' signal
They postponed their court martial of the traitorous criminal
They fell as they fled to the waiting dropship
And soon there were two, cause the kid lost her grip
So they flew back inside against all common sense
And got the kid back at significant expense
For as soon as they thought they were free and were clear
Then the alien queen did quickly appear
With a shout and a curse and a big yellow loader
She fought momma style, not like a soldier
And the bugs were all flung into space without care
Before the hatch closed, taking most of their air
Then they showered and snuggled deep down into sleep
And dreamed of the future, as something...began to creep.
