There's nothing to do but to get through it.
We've done this a lot, but it's different this time because she has been the light of our lives since she was born, and because of the reason she's having to be put down.
She's not passing away from any disease. She's just so old that her body is suffering from the effects of old age. Her joints are so bad that she constantly falls, she's basically blind, she has sundowners syndrome so she's up crying all night because she's uncomfortable and she can't sleep. She can still eat, but she has to be hand fed and she can only eat special food. Sometimes she gets pancreatitis which causes her severe pain and nausea. And plenty more is wrong with her.
She's basically existing from one day to the next and requires constant care just to maintain basic life functions. The only consolation is that she's had along and perfect life. And this will also be the last pet that has to be put down that's basically a member of the family. The rest are just farm cats that come and go as they please. So this should be the last grave I ever have to dig. I'm sick and tired of burying my babies.