The Recess Thread - It's Nothing Personal

[TheSailingRabbit]

Usually this time of year, we smell a lot of skunks by the road.

This year, I'm seeing a lot of possums.

Huggs, you taking our skunks?

I have enough skunks of my own.

Ah. I was getting worried you were amassing an army because I cussed out the tomato.

They'd never listen to me.

That's funny; the possums don't listen to me.

[Local Trouble]

What do you use for varmint hunting?

I don't hunt.

Don't see much point in it with a grocery store down the road.

Not for food, just to sate your bloodlust.

[Huggs]

Usually this time of year, we smell a lot of skunks by the road.

This year, I'm seeing a lot of possums.

Huggs, you taking our skunks?

I have enough skunks of my own.

Ah. I was getting worried you were amassing an army because I cussed out the tomato.

They'd never listen to me.

That's funny; the possums don't listen to me.

The possums come when I call them...mostly.

What do you use for varmint hunting?

I don't hunt.

Don't see much point in it with a grocery store down the road.

Not for food, just to sate your bloodlust.

I have wasps for that.

[The Old One]

[Huggs]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7Wy49bWSfA

Huggs' homevideo collection, Vol. 1.

I'm too soft hearted to hurt anything that's not trying to kill me.

Except for snakes. Snakes I send straight to hell.

[Local Trouble]

That's cold.

[Huggs]

That's cold.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zQPo31Ybzk

We have a snake problem where I live. A local guy died from a snake bite just a few years ago. The non dangerous ones I move elsewhere. The deadly ones get the shotgun. I don't want some child getting killed because I failed to act.

[Local Trouble]

So what do you use for snake hunting?

[Huggs]

So what do you use for snake hunting?

I don't hunt them.

About twice a summer I have to put one down.

I just use grandpa's old .410

You have to stay on your toes around here. In the southeast with all the barns, outbuildings, abandoned vehicles and buildings, fields, and woods like the amazon, you'll be wrist deep in fangs if you're not careful what you're doing.

[Local Trouble]

Are you far south enough for gators?

[Huggs]

Are you far south enough for gators?

Tennessee.

Unfortunately, we heard earlier this year that gators are starting to show up in places.

Gators I can handle. If the day ever comes in my lifetime that big @$$ pythons or anacondas get spotted migrating up here, I'll be a Canadian citizen before the weeks out.

Actually, screw that. I'll move to anchorage.

[Local Trouble]

This could be you soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_LIuzEoJ_Y

[Huggs]

This could be you soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_LIuzEoJ_Y

We've got alligator gar bigger than that here.

[TheSailingRabbit]

I'll bet that's one reason Hicks kept that shotgun.

If he's from 'Bama, dealing with gators and snakes is a daily occurrence.

That's what he really meant by close encounters.




At least, that's my personal headcanon.

[Voodoo Magic]

I wish my head had a canon.

I'd load it with ripe bananas and fire it at people who love Alien Resurrection.