Depression, Anxiety, and Mood Disorders

[Biomechanoid]

For those mentioning they are experiencing depression, anxiety, and mood disorder, abnormal blood pressure can definitely cause those problems. So the most basic step, when you are feeling that way check your blood pressure at that moment and record it for when you visit the doctor. BP kits are pretty cheap, I check mine every day.

[Sabby]

I do have abnormal blood pressure. It's high, but normal for someone who weighs 140kg (Jesus, I am just ticking every box when it comes to no life neckbeard loser, aren't I?). I've lost 40kg, but I got at least another 50 to go. Blood pressure is going to be a thing for me for a while, I'm afraid.

[TC]

I don't know much about anxiety , depression or mood disorders, but  I was listening to this guy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Hari

on the radio a few days ago.

http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/saturday/audio/2018632489/johann-hari-lost-connections

He's just written a book about the subject:

Johann Hari is a Scottish-born, London-raised journalist, columnist and author. He has written for numerous outlets including The New York Times, Le Monde, and The Guardian. He was a columnist for the British newspaper The Independent for nine years before leaving amidst claims of plagiarism. He subsequently wrote a best-selling book Chasing The Scream, The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs, and has now followed that work with a new book, Lost Connections, which aims to reveal the real causes of anxiety and depression.

One of the things he says is that the biggest cause of the modern-day anxiety and dpression is the lack of human-to-human socialisation, especially as a result of the internet and social media. Malfunctioning hormones and neurotransmitters and other brain chemicals have an effect too, but not as great as the effects of loneliness that many people suffer from. He says one of the problems is that it's easier for psychiatrists to prescribe medication to improve a patient's  brain chemicals than it is for them to prescribe a life-style to improve a patient's loneliness.

He's not against medication, but he says that the benefits of medication are much less than the benefits of socialisation.

TC

[426Buddy]

Over last year it has become apparent that my 2 1/2 year old son is autistic. We had to wait the last 6 months for an evaluation and diagnosis in order to get help but when the call came to set the appointment they informed us that they wont take my insurance. There are only a couple places within a hundred miles that do evaluations and they also won't take our insurance. We're going to have to pay out of pocket and we are already barely making it. Ive been feeling depressed and guilty like im not a good father and that its all my fault. Even though i know logically i shouldnt feel that way. I feel exhausted from holding back tears everyday and feeling that way also makes me feel guilty.

[Sabby]

Over last year it has become apparent that my 2 1/2 year old son is autistic. We had to wait the last 6 months for an evaluation and diagnosis in order to get help but when the call came to set the appointment they informed us that they wont take my insurance. There are only a couple places within a hundred miles that do evaluations and they also won't take our insurance. We're going to have to pay out of pocket and we are already barely making it. Ive been feeling depressed and guilty like im not a good father and that its all my fault. Even though i know logically i shouldnt feel that way. I feel exhausted from holding back tears everyday and feeling that way also makes me feel guilty.

Damn, that really f**king sucks. You seem to know whats up and what's just emotions, though, so you're on the right path. Hope you can get something soon.

I don't know much about anxiety , depression or mood disorders, but  I was listening to this guy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Hari

on the radio a few days ago.

http://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/saturday/audio/2018632489/johann-hari-lost-connections

He's just written a book about the subject:

Johann Hari is a Scottish-born, London-raised journalist, columnist and author. He has written for numerous outlets including The New York Times, Le Monde, and The Guardian. He was a columnist for the British newspaper The Independent for nine years before leaving amidst claims of plagiarism. He subsequently wrote a best-selling book Chasing The Scream, The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs, and has now followed that work with a new book, Lost Connections, which aims to reveal the real causes of anxiety and depression.

One of the things he says is that the biggest cause of the modern-day anxiety and dpression is the lack of human-to-human socialisation, especially as a result of the internet and social media. Malfunctioning hormones and neurotransmitters and other brain chemicals have an effect too, but not as great as the effects of loneliness that many people suffer from. He says one of the problems is that it's easier for psychiatrists to prescribe medication to improve a patient's  brain chemicals than it is for them to prescribe a life-style to improve a patient's loneliness.

He's not against medication, but he says that the benefits of medication are much less than the benefits of socialisation.

TC

I've heard much of that over the years, and it does make a lot of sense.

So, I called Autism Awareness and they directed me to a company called Epic Employment, who apparently specializes in disability employment. They're just down the road, as well. I've left them a message and can hopefully schedule an appointment with them soon. I have no idea how to change my employment service, whether it's covered by my Centrelink, and if it's not, how the f**k I'll be able to pay for it, so still very anxious, but progress is progress.

Aaand my anxiety medication runs out tomorrow morning and I have no money to get more. This will be fun.

[Xeno Killer 2179]

This may be TMI/blog material but I spent a few days in the psych hospital not too long ago. I had intentionally swallowed a lethal dosage of tylenol but the the pills seemed to have had a coating on them that causes you to vomit if you take too many. My liver and kidneys took no damage, thankfully.

[Sabby]

This may be TMI/blog material but I spent a few days in the psych hospital not too long ago. I had intentionally swallowed a lethal dosage of tylenol but the the pills seemed to have had a coating on them that causes you to vomit if you take too many. My liver and kidneys took no damage, thankfully.

That's a pretty cool feature. Sucks to hear about your hospital stay, man. Ya coming along?

[Wysps]

I do have abnormal blood pressure. It's high, but normal for someone who weighs 140kg (Jesus, I am just ticking every box when it comes to no life neckbeard loser, aren't I?). I've lost 40kg, but I got at least another 50 to go. Blood pressure is going to be a thing for me for a while, I'm afraid.

I know your post was from a few months back, but just curious - have you had your thyroid levels checked?  If you have a few extra pounds and depression is an issue for you, a lot of times that's an indication of hypothyroidism.  I'd be curious to see where your T3/T4/TSH levels are at.  We see hypothyroidism a lot with MDD/MDDRS patients.  Hypothyroidism can absolutely make the situation worse.

This may be TMI/blog material but I spent a few days in the psych hospital not too long ago. I had intentionally swallowed a lethal dosage of tylenol but the the pills seemed to have had a coating on them that causes you to vomit if you take too many. My liver and kidneys took no damage, thankfully.

I'm happy that your organs didn't take any long-term damage, and that you're doing well considering.  I don't know if you're in the States, but have you considered participating in an intensive outpatient program?  Many psych hospitals have them for newly discharged patients or patients who don't meet criteria for inpatient treatment.  They are fabulous for keeping in touch with the behavioral health team after discharge. 

[Sabby]

I do have abnormal blood pressure. It's high, but normal for someone who weighs 140kg (Jesus, I am just ticking every box when it comes to no life neckbeard loser, aren't I?). I've lost 40kg, but I got at least another 50 to go. Blood pressure is going to be a thing for me for a while, I'm afraid.

I know your post was from a few months back, but just curious - have you had your thyroid levels checked?  If you have a few extra pounds and depression is an issue for you, a lot of times that's an indication of hypothyroidism.  I'd be curious to see where your T3/T4/TSH levels are at.  We see hypothyroidism a lot with MDD/MDDRS patients.  Hypothyroidism can absolutely make the situation worse.

I wouldn't be surprised, but things have been going really well lately. I'm still at 140kg, but my waistline has shrunk a lot. Gone from a 7xl-9xl to a 5xl. Muscle mass is replacing the fat, so I'm not going to actually lose kilograms for a bit. Between the dietition, physiologist, and disability employment agency, things have been really looking up. I'm dieting and working out every morning, spending more time on Discord with partner (we live stream games for each other, watch movies and stuff, just recently did a big Warframe/Warcraft exchange because we both love one of them and wanted to share it) so our relationship has really strengthened.

This is still going to suck. A lot of waiting, a lot of uncertainty, but this is better. A lot f**king better. Hope everyone else that comes in here to share or help are pulling through. Shit gets better.

[Wysps]

I do have abnormal blood pressure. It's high, but normal for someone who weighs 140kg (Jesus, I am just ticking every box when it comes to no life neckbeard loser, aren't I?). I've lost 40kg, but I got at least another 50 to go. Blood pressure is going to be a thing for me for a while, I'm afraid.

I know your post was from a few months back, but just curious - have you had your thyroid levels checked?  If you have a few extra pounds and depression is an issue for you, a lot of times that's an indication of hypothyroidism.  I'd be curious to see where your T3/T4/TSH levels are at.  We see hypothyroidism a lot with MDD/MDDRS patients.  Hypothyroidism can absolutely make the situation worse.

I wouldn't be surprised, but things have been going really well lately. I'm still at 140kg, but my waistline has shrunk a lot. Gone from a 7xl-9xl to a 5xl. Muscle mass is replacing the fat, so I'm not going to actually lose kilograms for a bit. Between the dietition, physiologist, and disability employment agency, things have been really looking up. I'm dieting and working out every morning, spending more time on Discord with partner (we live stream games for each other, watch movies and stuff, just recently did a big Warframe/Warcraft exchange because we both love one of them and wanted to share it) so our relationship has really strengthened.

This is still going to suck. A lot of waiting, a lot of uncertainty, but this is better. A lot f**king better. Hope everyone else that comes in here to share or help are pulling through. Shit gets better.

Wow, that's an improvement from where you were a few months back!  And that shrinking waistline is definitely evidence that what you're doing is working.  Fantastic!  I'm such a huge proponent of gaming with S.O.'s – either parallel play (playing different things at the same time) or together in co-op.  I'd call that legitimate "quality time".     

Also, I didn't mention it earlier, but hypothyroidism is treatable in case you do ever want to get those levels checked out.  You'd just be taking levothyroxine to correct the imbalance  

[Xeno Killer 2179]

That's a pretty cool feature. Sucks to hear about your hospital stay, man. Ya coming along?

Yep. I was having some nasty side effects from the antipsychotics but I'm not on them now. Other than my doctor thinking im hypomanic, not much else has happened.

I'm happy that your organs didn't take any long-term damage, and that you're doing well considering.  I don't know if you're in the States, but have you considered participating in an intensive outpatient program?  Many psych hospitals have them for newly discharged patients or patients who don't meet criteria for inpatient treatment.  They are fabulous for keeping in touch with the behavioral health team after discharge.

Intensive outpatient was offered to me but I said no. My insurance changed and now I'm seen multiple times a week by a nurse/case manager so I don't think I need it.

[Wysps]

That's a pretty cool feature. Sucks to hear about your hospital stay, man. Ya coming along?

Yep. I was having some nasty side effects from the antipsychotics but I'm not on them now. Other than my doctor thinking im hypomanic, not much else has happened.

I'm happy that your organs didn't take any long-term damage, and that you're doing well considering.  I don't know if you're in the States, but have you considered participating in an intensive outpatient program?  Many psych hospitals have them for newly discharged patients or patients who don't meet criteria for inpatient treatment.  They are fabulous for keeping in touch with the behavioral health team after discharge.

Intensive outpatient was offered to me but I said no. My insurance changed and now I'm seen multiple times a week by a nurse/case manager so I don't think I need it.

Oh, well that's probably better than outpatient since you're being seen one-on-one in any event.  Insurance is a b**** and can really screw up people's medical care.  As a nurse, it's infuriating

[Sabby]

That's a pretty cool feature. Sucks to hear about your hospital stay, man. Ya coming along?

Yep. I was having some nasty side effects from the antipsychotics but I'm not on them now. Other than my doctor thinking im hypomanic, not much else has happened.

I'm not going to tell you to cheer up, because if you could, you would have by now, so here's my Vulcan way of offering help. You don't get a phone plan for 18 months when you're not stable or thinking erratically. Suicide? That shits forever. No backsies. The next time you feel like dying, put that off until you feel stable enough to actually think about what that entails and what you're signing up for.

I'm speaking from experience here. I've never actually tried to kill myself, but I've wanted to, and I always thought better of it when I was of sounder mind. That kind of reflection only made me less likely to go through with it in the future.

Wow, that's an improvement from where you were a few months back!  And that shrinking waistline is definitely evidence that what you're doing is working.  Fantastic!  I'm such a huge proponent of gaming with S.O.'s – either parallel play (playing different things at the same time) or together in co-op.  I'd call that legitimate "quality time".     

Also, I didn't mention it earlier, but hypothyroidism is treatable in case you do ever want to get those levels checked out.  You'd just be taking levothyroxine to correct the imbalance  

Yeah, The Forest was one of our best gaming memories together, for a lot of reasons that aren't relevant to this topic (lets just say it built a bridge between out gaming interests and we got really invested). I love Warframe, he loves Warcraft, we don't know much about the other, and both games have big story content dropping right now, so I spent a session showing him all the Warframe lore up to the new content and streamed it for him. He's shown me the Warcraft stuff and I'll watch him play Battle for Azeroth when it drops.

That, and I'm playing through the Kingdom Hearts games for him for the first time because it's part of his childhood and it's always been an easy thing for me to make fun of. Second games really good so far, just f**k me these games are making the jokes worse. It's every bit as Autistic as I thought it was.

But yeah, I guess the point of this was that text isn't enough. Talk on voice.

[Sabby]

I have a job now. Working part time at an Indian restaurant. It's one of the most stressful things I've ever done but I'm keeping my head above water. Plenty of f**k ups, but boss is pretty understanding. Only done 3 shifts and I know I've improved. Even got a tip for good service.

Though, I did have to cut my hair pretty short. Between the loss of the metal locks, 90% humidity, thigh rash and all the stressful social interaction, I'm feeling every bit the fat, unprepared, awkward, clinically anxious Autismo I am, but somehow I'm managing.

[Necronom IV]

I have a job now. Working part time at an Indian restaurant. It's one of the most stressful things I've ever done but I'm keeping my head above water. Plenty of f**k ups, but boss is pretty understanding. Only done 3 shifts and I know I've improved. Even got a tip for good service.

Though, I did have to cut my hair pretty short. Between the loss of the metal locks, 90% humidity, thigh rash and all the stressful social interaction, I'm feeling every bit the fat, unprepared, awkward, clinically anxious Autismo I am, but somehow I'm managing.

If it is not an intrusion from a stranger, I once attempted to work in the kitchens in a nursing home: dear God, I was incompetent. You are doing better than I ever did.

This is an interesting thread and a kindly meant one, thank you. I will give my own conditions and hope you will all forgive me my oddities.

There's rather a list:

Asperger's Syndrome, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (purely obsessional), intrusive thoughts, depression, sleep-paralysis, night-terrors.

Medication:
Diazepam (Valium) 60mg daily.
Fluoxetine (Prozac) 80mg daily.
Quetiapine (i.e. fumarate of quetiapine) 700mg daily.
Zopiclone (sleeping-pills) 7.5mg daily.

I can only offer my sincerest good wishes to fellow sufferers. I have been in a mental hospital, which was really quite a black time.

I ''present'' as very stiff, awkward, clumsy to the point of absurdity, old-fashioned a bookworm, chronically anxious and reliant on sedatives.

I regret that I do not work save for occasional corrections of manuscripts for a small fee (though, to my great delight, some poems of mine were published a little while ago in an amateur periodical: a fee of but ten pounds, but that was the better part of the cost of a bottle of wine for Mother!). I remain with my dear mother (almost my last surviving relative on speaking terms -- life is quite emphatically unfair), who fortunately receives a fairly generous Civil Service pension and we are poor enough but a fairly happy home life (my twin sister is bipolar, autistic and an alcoholic, absolutely chaotic life, poor little devil).

I confess, with regard to nightmares and night terrors, which I have always had, although I hate and dread them there are times I would not be without them: the veil between this world and the nightmare images of a Bosch or a Giger is thinner then than ever.

OCD is horrible, I can't say how I loathe it. I hate it more than I hate anything, I think. Thank God I have a civil and erudite CBT therapist who will talk to me from time to time. Please get outdoors if you can, once you close the doors and barricade yourself in it is hard to get back out again. I cannot talk, I'm sitting here like the Flourishing Professor in Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress, but I am assured it does help!

Asperger's is interesting: certainly I don't feel the lack of conventional social structures (girlfriend, chums or mates, nights ''down the pub'') as I have essentially lived in libraries as long as I can remember, starting with my aunt's private collection (which sounds really rather grand, sadly all sold long ago to pay our debts!).

I suppose a normal mental and nervous structure is an elaborate quale that I cannot be made to understand or appreciate (quale is the singular of qualia, a quality as perceived by a person and incapable of certain transmission or of certain recognition in another: how does one explain to a blind man the colour red? A. and B. can agree that item C. is red, but it is impossible to determine if A. perceives the same colour as B.)

I have always felt drawn by the uncanny.

Some favourite quotes:

''I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.'' -- HPL

''I am afraid of my visions'' -- HRG

''Thro' the ghoul-guarded gateways of slumber,
Past the wan-moon'd abysses of night,
I have liv'd o'er my lives without number,
I have sounded all things with my sight;
And I struggle and shriek ere the daybreak, being driven to madness with fright.

I have whirl'd with the earth at the dawning,
When the sky was a vaporous flame;
I have seen the dark universe yawning,
Where the black planets roll without aim;
Where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge or lustre or name.'' -- HPL

Unfortunately the sheer dosage of narcotics has reduced my brain to a treacly pace, it took a very long time to compose this. Thank you for your patience in reading this, I don't talk a great deal about it all and it is a bizarre release to write about it.