My crossover of Halo and AvP (suggestions for improvment encouraged)

[Ishallsmitethee]

(I'm not sure if crossovers are acceptable or not, if they aren't, close this topic)

I have been working on this fan fiction for a while (a really long time, in fact), it's a crossover of Halo and Aliens vs. Predator, set during the timeline of the original Halo video game (in fact, during the events of the game). It involves a squad of Spec Ops Covenant, sent to Basis (moon of Halo) by the Prophets to investigate a Forerunner structure on the moon, where they expect is a lethal artifact. When they arrive, they discover not only Flood, but also a large Alien hive, and they just woke them up. Then Predators arive to hunt, and eventually meet up with the Covenant, to aid them in finding the artifact (bad idea maybe, this was a while back).

This was started during when I still liked the AvP movie (I was a fool), so the first several chapters are kinda Anderson-inspired, but this is dropped in the more recent chapters. The earlier chapters do seem very rushed, which I regret doing, but have been edited since their original form (they do still seem kinda rushed). But don't let that stop you from reading it, please! The later chapters are (I think) better written and better paced, so ignore the poor quality of the earlier chapters.

It is not done yet (I'm currently working on the next chapter) but I'm gonna finish it up soon. But, before I do, I'd like any suggestions for improvement, things to add to future chapters, things I should take out, etc. That would be highly appreciated! I will edit it and fix things if I like your idea.

Also, please don't bash it, creative criticism is accepted just don't go "tis story sux teh big one!!!1111" that will be ignored.

Here's the link: http://ishallsmitethee.googlepages.com/cvavp

Enjoy

(Read the whole thing!!)   

[ShadowPred]

I barely read to the third chapter because i don't have time right now. And i have to say that this is amazing, the only problem so far is ch. 3...if there were hundreds of alien eggs wouldn't a lot of them open upon sensing the elite's? Unless of course the egg that opened up was not near the rest of them. Otherwise, i can't wait to finish reading  it, i can't wait for when the predators kick the elite's ass.

[ShadowPred]

It seems i did have more time. Um when the predators first encounter the flood/human...they act as if they are going to hunt aliens, but you make no mention of any mission that they are going to basis for, anyway i might find out tomorrow. Because this time i really don't have time .

[ShadowPred]

I'm still reading it as i'm typing this, but i think in ch. 3 the elite's camo/invisibility shouldn't wear off, only the arbiter's does because it is old technology, and when the pred's barely land on basis one of them says that this is home to hard meat, let's hunt, how are they certain that aliens are even inside?

LOL guess i answered my question( i read some more)...but how do the predators know there are aliens in basis they don't seem to suggest or know just assume?


NVM guess they knew they were in hybernation.


OKay another problem is that the elite's fought for several hours, how many hours does it take for the predators to find the aliens in hybernation...and what are the marines doing are they just standing there for the many hours it took the elite's? Also right after this a marine tells another marine that what he saw was nothing...and the other responds by saying that it could be an invisible elite...now how the hell does he know for certain that the elite's are here...or is he just assuming that they are there just because Basis is a forerunner installation?

[ShadowPred]

I finished it, and i must say that it is by far the best Halo crossover i have ever read...now please finish it, it's so damn awesome!

[Ishallsmitethee]

Thank you for reading my story! I'm almost done with the next chapter, it'll be up soon.

Also right after this a marine tells another marine that what he saw was nothing...and the other responds by saying that it could be an invisible elite...now how the hell does he know for certain that the elite's are here...or is he just assuming that they are there just because Basis is a forerunner installation?

He's just assuming. Being that there's a large Covenant warship nearby, he thinks that some Covenant could have possibly followed them there.

[ShadowPred]

But the marines made no mention of actually seeing a covenant ship.

[Ishallsmitethee]

I'm referring to the Covenant ship that is attacking the Piller of Autumn . Remember, they had recently just barely escaped off the Autumn in an escape pod (remember it takes place during the events of the first Halo game).   

[ShadowPred]

Ok...didn't know he assumed because of the recent covenant attack.

[Ishallsmitethee]

The next chapter is pretty much done, expect it soon. Sorry about the wait.

[Its Game Time]

I thought of an Idea Halo, Alien vs Predator crossover. I cant remember it though....Its been a while......

[ShadowPred]

Yes, i have been dying for the new chapter!

[Ishallsmitethee]

Ok, the new chapter is finally up. Sorry, I had to make some last minute revisions. Enjoy.

[ShadowPred]

Hell ya!!

[ShadowPred]

Freakin awesome, and i fogot to say a while ago that you made one the regular huge black eyed normal alien grays have a chestburster come out of it's chest, keep up the good work, can't wait to see ow it ends, hopefully with a twist.