Just to start off, This is a re-start up from my original thread here:
http://www.avpgalaxy.net/forum/index.php?topic=42822.0Ok, I was in the planning stage for my 2nd upcoming fan fiction which i dubbed LOLA (Last Ones Left Alive) a few weeks ago and have started my 2nd Chapter. I would like peoples opinion of the short extract im giving.
P.S: If you have anything similar, questions or ideas, dont be afraid to post them here
Quote"What the hell happened out there?"
"I.....I......We.....we f**ked up." Andrew replied with his head in his hands.
Elena stepped in with the conversation. "We went to rescue Dave, but we got ambushed halfway here and lost Jordan and we......"
"You what?" Jack attempted to continue.
"They lost my f**king daughter, that's what!" Dave Interrupted. Everyone could hear the anger and sadness from the back of his throat, which made it a lot harder for Dave to say anything about his daughter.
"She was only 9. f**king 9!! And you bastards couldn't even protect someone as simple as that! What kind of ex-military f**k are you!?" Dave directed this towards Elena, staring her in the face.
Elena glanced back at Dave and scolded a look towards him. A part of her inside yearned so desperately to say "Well maybe it's your fault for dragging her through a city full of undead that she died, so what kind of father are you?" But she couldn't. She wouldn't. He just lost his daughter; there was no need to turn against each other, especially not in a time like this. So she didn't reply, she just stared blankly at him, mouth slightly open as if to be shocked. It didn't help the situation.
"Yeah, I thought so." Dave continued. "You don't even have the common f**king decency to say sorry, do you? You types are all the same. It's always about you and you alone. Well here's an idea, go fu..." [/font]
~
Hope you like it
