Draft/In Progress Sci-Fi Novel by Me,

[AvatarIII]

Please read it! I am posting it in a blog for people to give me constructive criticism, I'll post a chapter at a time, wait for some responses, and then post the next one.

it varies in quality, because I wrote it very quickly for a programme called NaNoWriMo, and it is my first attempt at writing fiction, outside of creative writing at school, and i have difficulty being objective abouot it since i wrote it, which is why i'm posting it online.

The blog is at http://hivenovel.blogspot.com/

i look forward to getting some feedback, even if it's "this is the worst thing I've read"

[Pn2501]

Hey I like it it's a good premise,
I would consider changing the name of the hive queen to something less ominous, change some of the terminology like brain computer.
You could also change the pacing, for example you could start the story at the wormhole and allude to the reasons Mack is leaving.

Nice work look forward to reading more.

[OmegaZilla]

Reading bits from time to time, I find it very interesting.
Love the brain computer thing, looks like it could be very useful haha.

[Purebreedalien]

I love the premise so far, and it seems promising, I think I need to read a little more to add any real criticism because the story is only being introduced. I do like it though, keep up the good work!

[AvatarIII]

cool thanks guys, i will post chapter 2, since a few people have had a look.

[Nope]

I read Chapters 1 and 2, and Avatar, Im loving it. Every bit of it. I thought Chapter 2 was abit too short though. Also, I think you mispelled Immigrant. 

[AvatarIII]

thanks shobi! please though people, i really want constructive criticism, saying you like it is great and all, but if there's any niggles, like thje few PN mentioned, please, don't hesitate to say so, i was half expecting people to tell me it's completely crap, so i am totally prepared for criticsm!

[AvatarIII]

i've posted another chapter, i was going to do it last night but my net was playing up, and i went to see Thor so i didn't have time, but it's there now.

[AvatarIII]

i've posted 2 more chapters because they are kind of short, chapter 5 is the start of a new arc, if you are bored of what i was already doing.

[Nope]

I just read chapters 3 and 4. Both excellent. Im no good with critisism, and I didnt see anything to critize. I'll read chapter 5 later.

[AvatarIII]

that's good, i kinf of feel chapter 3 and 4 are pretty weak, it's pretty hard to write that kind of scenario without it being boring, chapter 5 is where i feel it starts picking up the pace to be honest, i hope you like it.

[keylight-di]

One question to the writer... Could I copy oryginal to.... for example Word Office? Would it be okay for you? I'm not able to read white letters on black background. It's damn tiring for my eyes.

[AvatarIII]

go for it, i don't mind if you copy it into a document for the purposes of reading it, i actually find reading black on a white background on anything but paper very tiring, which is why i have it the colours that i do, but i understand what it's like.

[keylight-di]

Thank you.
I was afraid about copyrights. But if you agree - my work is in progress. I prefer reading on paper and especially darker letters on lighter background. Everyone has his/her preferences.

[AvatarIII]

i'm not too worried about copyrights, i should hope it being posted and dated on a blog should be evidence enough that it's mine if someone trys to steal it, not that its good enough to steal, and most of the ideas in it are not very original.