Your ingenuity vs xenomorphs

[The Runner]

You are at Hadley's hope operations center. 135 xenomorph warriors have just entered the tunnel and will be there at operations within an hour. It's your smarts vs aliens

You have these supplies.
*Matches
*40 foot rope
*An axe
*Flashlight
*10 pieces of firewood
*1 pound teriyaki jack links Jerkey
*tent
*wire
*wrench
*manual on how to fix appliances(think of fixing comma array)
*fire blanket
*100 gallon ice water jug
*pepper spray
*5 sticky time bombs
*a blender
*trail mix
*device to set off bombs
*steel jaw trap
*golf cart
*live rabbit
*magazines
*live goat
*a pillow
*your computer
*a soundtrack of Mariah Carey
*box of tissues
*hand sanitizer

[OmegaZilla]

The Aliens get cancer and die.

[Hudson]

Can that be Jack Link's peppered jerky? 

[Xenomorphine]

*40 foot rope
*live rabbit
*live goat
*a pillow
*your computer
*a soundtrack of Mariah Carey
*box of tissues
*hand sanitizer

Someone's idea of a really fun Saturday night in, I see...

[Vickers]

I'll use the matches to light the 10 pieces of firewood. I'll throw the Mariah Carey album in the fire. I'll use the hand sanitizer after having touched the Mariah Carey album. Then I'll update my Facebook status on my computer with something like: "Party at Hadley's Hope Operations Center. Be here within an hour." Then I'll grab the tent, a pillow, flashlight, magazines and box of tissues and hightail it out of there on the golf cart.

[Xenodog]

Put the live chicken in the blender.
Drink chicken.

Strap the axe and the pepper spray to the live goat, effectivley turning it into a deadly,weaponised animal known as 'The Slash 'n' Burner'.
135 xenomorph warriors poo pants and leave puddles of fear-urine, evacuate hadley's hope operation centre.
Assume alien poo / urine is acid - somehow use that to increase the damage output of The 'SnB'.

Escape by sticky bomb powered gold cart.

[The Runner]

Can that be Jack Link's peppered jerky? 

nope

[Crazy Rich]

Put sticky bombs on goat, rabbit, soundtrack, golf cart, and steel jaw trap. Use device to set off bombs individually when aliens swarm in on them for the attack or stumble on the jaw trap.

Matches + pepper spray = small flamethrower

Axe as a last resort weapon, flashlight to see.

Use golf cart for travel, and to off myself with a boom as they swarm me. (I may not survive, but I can at least take some bitches down with me).

If I do survive then I'll need jerky, water, tent, pillow, manual, wrench, firewood, fire blanket, computer, rope, wire, what matches are left. The magazines, hand sanitizer and tissues will come in handy too.

[Space Sweeper]

The Aliens get cancer and die.

This. There's really no other logical conclusion.

[Crazy Rich]

But that conclusion lacks my explosive touch.

[SiL]

*manual on how to fix appliances(think of fixing comma array)

As much as I'm one for proper grammar, I'm not sure how an array of commas is really going to help during an Alien attack.

[Terx2]

I'd grab the live rabbit use it to bait in the aliens to a room which will lock behind than to a mechanism made from the wire and soundtrack of Mariah Carey. While the aliens try to break free I'll use the golf kart to drive to the derelict. Using the flash light to investigate it and goat as bait just in case there's more. I find the distress signal and hack it to broadcast across the galaxy. I wait it out in the derelict by building a fire, sacrificing the goat to the aliens and eating Jerkey, drinking the water while holding an axe on my guard, inside a tent and using my pillow as a shield. Wearing the fire blanket as a cape and a steel jaw trap around my head that will only trigger if I get facehugged. Wait till rescue until I wounder why I didn't save anyone else or why I've watched too many episodes of Macgyver?

*manual on how to fix appliances(think of fixing comma array)

As much as I'm one for proper grammar, I'm not sure how an array of commas is really going to help during an Alien attack.

I think he meant fix the communications array

[Hudson]

Can that be Jack Link's peppered jerky? 

nope

Then I blow myself up with the bombs.

[Space Sweeper]

*40 foot rope
*An axe
*wire
*100 gallon ice water jug
*pepper spray
*device to set off bombs
*steel jaw trap
*live rabbit
*magazines
*live goat
*a pillow
*your computer
*a soundtrack of Mariah Carey Fitz and the Tantrums album
*box of tissues
*hand sanitizer

This isn't for a xeno apocalypse, this is my average weekend inventory.

Assuming I don't f**k it up and pass out before relieving the rope tension.

[Cvalda]

I thought you had better taste than Mariah Carey.