Depression, Anxiety, and Mood Disorders

[Local Trouble]

I'm also the child of a messy divorce.  I never wanted that for myself.  Self-sabotage is an excellent defense mechanism.  Like acid for blood.

[[cancerblack]]

I'm also the child of a messy divorce.  I never wanted that for myself.  Self-sabotage is an excellent defense mechanism.  Like acid for blood.

Mostly stable and positive home life but shit everything else, for me. Same results.

[Local Trouble]

At least you have good pies.

[[cancerblack]]

Yeah they're pretty great ngl.

[Immortan Jonesy]

Edit: I've missed many romantic opportunities due to my introverted personality   

I'm so introverted I literally don't notice when I'm being hit on.

Long time ago, a popular girl had a crush on me. It was not my personal impression, since she made it clear to me as crystal. But I used to be very insecure. I'm still something like that, but I grew up and life has made me more confident than in the past. She was the opposite of me: sociable, confident, popular, she even used to hang out with a guy who bullied me.

She tried to integrate me into her group. But I've always been a nerd and she used to hang out with...let's say... people with more mainstream hobbies (sports, cars, parties, trendy stuff). Back then I felt like someone inferior, like I was not worthy of her, no matter how foolish it may sounds. I never had the courage to be her boyfriend.

There were other similar occasions. Remakes as I like to call them 

But that was one of the few times where I reciprocated the feeling.

Spoiler

Today, I am a somewhat bisexual young man, who sometimes fantasizes about being a woman.

Although I don't have love affairs with anyone. I am very puritan 

[close]

I'm also the child of a messy divorce.  I never wanted that for myself.  Self-sabotage is an excellent defense mechanism.  Like acid for blood.

It was a shity experience for me. It took me years to heal the wounds.

[Local Trouble]

Long time ago, a popular girl had a crush on me. It was not my personal impression, since she made it clear to me as crystal. But I used to be very insecure. I'm still something like that, but I grew up and life has made me more confident than in the past.

Ain't that a bitch?  Whenever that happened to me, the self-loathing kicked into high gear and I started wondering what the hell was wrong with them that they could be interested in me.  The usual self-sabotage ensued from that...

[Immortan Jonesy]

Long time ago, a popular girl had a crush on me. It was not my personal impression, since she made it clear to me as crystal. But I used to be very insecure. I'm still something like that, but I grew up and life has made me more confident than in the past.

Ain't that a bitch?  Whenever that happened to me, the self-loathing kicked into high gear and I started wondering what the hell was wrong with them that they could be interested in me.  The usual self-sabotage ensued from that...

Yes, you said it; self-sabotage. Capable of ruining love relationships, friendship and even jobs. I've worked on that and I've improved.

However, I wonder if that girl would have accepted me as I am or she had only been attracted superficially to me, in order to change my personality to make me fit into her circles. I will never know. Although when it comes to get laid, I guess it doesn't matter the latter 

[Xenomrph]

I suffer from (and am medicated for) clinical depression.

I got let go from my job yesterday.

Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

Edit-- to clarify, I wasn't let go BECAUSE of my depression, I'm just using that as context for how you can imagine I'm feeling right now.

[Immortan Jonesy]

Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

Wait! You're a TED speaker?

[Xenomrph]

No, but I play one on TV

[Local Trouble]

What line of work?

[Xenomrph]

What line of work?

Accounting. I'm not too concerned about finding a new job but losing my job still sucks.

[Space_Dementia]

I'm really struggling at the moment, emotionally, mentally... I don't really talk about this to anyone but its gotten to a point where I feel I really need to talk to someone. I used to suffer with it on and off during my early 20's but over the last few years I feel like its just become a lot more intense, this feeling of hopelessness... just questioning my existence, belonging. I can go weeks feeling ok but times like now where I'm just really low and I can't describe what triggers it. I shouldn't feel like this but just do... I've always come close to messaging on this forum, in this topic, but always stop.

[SM]

Seek help via counselling or a prescription if possible.

[Master Chief]

I'm really struggling at the moment, emotionally, mentally... I don't really talk about this to anyone but its gotten to a point where I feel I really need to talk to someone. I used to suffer with it on and off during my early 20's but over the last few years I feel like its just become a lot more intense, this feeling of hopelessness... just questioning my existence, belonging. I can go weeks feeling ok but times like now where I'm just really low and I can't describe what triggers it. I shouldn't feel like this but just do... I've always come close to messaging on this forum, in this topic, but always stop.

Because of the pandemic, this may be your best option for counseling at the moment.

https://www.betterhelp.com/

Be well.