The Dream Thread

[Huggs]

Hard up for money, I was tasked with seducing a female UPS driver so someone else could steal the cargo, but was late due to unforeseen circumstances. My only way out of the situation was to don a Peter Boyle disguise and run in slow motion. The pursuing forces thought it was hilarious and fell out in laughter. Upon reaching my vehicle, it was determined to be non-functional. I sought refuge with a strange family of morbidly obese individuals who taught me their ways.

At the conclusion of my training, I was taken to a sacred bathroom. The layout resembled a barbershop, and there were cheap metal chairs covered in blue fabric lined up against all the walls. There was a large purple curtain in the northeastern corner, through which people passed. In the middle of the southernmost wall, a 4 foot high stack of chairs served as a makeshift throne. Upon this throne sat Chris Farley, still alive. I was told that his death was faked so he might go and live amongst his own kind. I asked to shake his hand, but was told I would not be able to, as he was eternally busy with his job of shepherding deserving people to the place of relief.

Bidding them farewell, I set out on my own to find a vehicle. I nearly got into a fight with some hucksters, but we heard police sirens so everybody took off. I eventually gave up looking for a vehicle and just walked home. I was then asked to house-sit for my aunt. While looking over some antique ammunition, I turned on her radio to have something to listen to. The first thing that came on was some kind of interview where one Frenchman was trying to seduce another. I turned off the radio and went to do something else. Her toilet was broken, and I was about to pray to Farley when I realized the location had suddenly changed.

I was in an abandoned underground complex of some kind. I opened the wrong door, and was greeted by a horde of the undead, swimming through the air. I was unable to get the door shut in time, and had to run for it. They were very fast air-swimmers for dead folk, and I was forced to fight several times. I luckily discovered that twisting off the left nipple was their Achilles heel. Utilizing this tactic, I was able to survive and escape through a door and wound up on the loading dock of one of my old jobs.

The rest is still just a blur. As best I can remember, I was shot with some kind of giant novelty tranquilizer dart, I saved some kittens, there was an apocalyptic run on shower curtains, I was stalked through the fields and hunted at night by some kind of monster, some emotional bits involving places from my past (now abandoned and silent), and a campfire story about a one-fingered proctologist who supposedly wanders the woods at night and fingers people to death.

[TheSailingRabbit]

How are you not a writer?

[TheSailingRabbit]

I've never really had such vivid Alien dreams before, and this one was weird, so, buckle up.

I was walking with my mom in this really fancy mall, and after sitting down at a cafe, she tells me to let her see my phone. Now, neither of my parents know that I'm into Aliens and study action figure collecting and gaming and whatnot, so I was afraid of what she was going to say when she opened my Twitter.

The first thing she saw was something I retweeted from Alien Theory. She looked at me and said, "Alien, huh."

I said, "Yeah. Ever seen it?"

No response, but she did hand back my phone.

The next part of the dream was at an outdoor convention. This time, I was alone, and pretty excited because every cast member of Aliens (except those who've died) were set to be there. I wandered around aimlessly for some reason, and finally decided to first approach Michael Biehn. He was in a good mood and signed something I was carrying. We talked for a bit, and I moved on after getting a hug.

Of course, my sights are set on Rolston next, but I felt bad when I saw nobody at Daniel Kash's table. So I go over, I whisper, "Hey, Spunkmeyer," and suddenly we're talking like old friends. It was nice because there was no line and no one told me to move along.

After getting Kash's signature, I move on. I've got a beeline on Mark Rolston's table, but then a security guy gently ushered me out of the park. I look over my shoulder to see all the tables are empty. It's over, and I felt like crying.

The third part of the dream was, well, bad. I was with a friend (someone my brain made up, no one I know in real life) in a grocery store when we see something strange going on in the electronics section. It's a cat being facehugged. I grab my friend and run back out to my car, where I take a handgun out of a hiding spot under my seat.

We're then transported to a large and dark shower room at the middle school, where the cat-birthed Alien is stalking a Predator. It was a lot like a bad video game; I shoot the Alien in the head a few times, and all it does is scream, spaz out, and sprint behind another corner.

There are five other people with me, and we can't seem to agree on what to do. Apparently, we all have weapons of some kind. One guy has a rather pathetic-looking submachine gun, and ends up decimating the Alien with it. The Predator is pissed we took out his trophy, so we run into the bathroom next door to the showers.

That's where it ended. No clue what any of it means.

[Huggs]

What does it mean?

1. You family isn't into alien. And you're worried what they think of your love for it.
2. You're worried you'll never meet Mark Rolston.
3. You like cats, but not as much as bunnies.
4. Size matters, but so does confidence.
5. You want to shower with other people.

[TheSailingRabbit]

What does it mean?

1. You family isn't into alien. And you're worried what they think of your love for it.
2. You're worried you'll never meet Mark Rolston.
3. You like cats, but not as much as bunnies.
4. Size matters, but so does confidence.
5. You want to shower with other people.

Points 1, 2, and 4 are true. Like, really true.

[Huggs]

Had a bunch of different dreams featuring predators last night.

First one was set in my old childhood home, and during the daylight. I knew it was in there with me, but couldn't see it. Every step and turn I took was scary. But I escaped.

Second one was set later that night. I was in the city and it was raining hard. I hunkered down in some back alley court and waited for it. I could hear it coming. I hid behind some trash cans as it dropped to the ground. I psyched myself up to fight, but an unknown event forced me along.

Last encounter was in a large office building. I managed to escape but realized there were 2 children still inside, so I went back. The power was failing and there were some kind of dark blue emergency lights kicking on. The whole place looked real freaky. As I entered this enormous lobby, there was a wall of glass doors at the other end with some turnstiles in front of it. On the other side of those doors was a large staircase.

As I made for the glass doors, I saw the flash of the things eyes to my right . I decided to just keep going, and hope that it would stalk and watch, thinking I hadn't noticed it. It was hard to see in the dim blue light. I found the children a few floors up with a female cousin of mine. We collected the children, and made our way down . We ran into a few more people and tried to persuade them to come with us. But for some reason they wanted to stay and either steal things or just die.

The elevators were down so we had to use the stairwell. I handed the little boy to my relative, and took out my knife. We were running out of time , and I could hear the thing ravaging the people we left behind . It was one floor above us, but that wasn't going to last for long. The children were starting to cry, and then there was a roar and scream similar to Lamberts death in alien. We froze.

My vision was adjusted, and I was beginning to see better. But now we didn't know where the damn thing was. I grabbed the boy and we hauled ass. As we reached the lobby, I could hear the wall of glass doors behind me explode. The exit was locked so I kicked it open and nearly broke my leg trying.  We ran through this large open courtyard just as an air strike blew the place to dust. The sun was killing my eyes, but it was a beautiful sight. We got to my car, and drove away.

We stopped at this old convenience store, and got something to drink. I was leaning against the car while getting gas, and watching her clean the little boys face while the girl played nearby. I finished pumping gas, and some guy asked me if I could spot him a cigarette. I told him I don't smoke, and walked away.

[TheSailingRabbit]

Pre-menstrual dreams are weird.

So, I was at a convention in this museum-like building right on the shore of an island. For some reason, I wasn't in my own body, and was in Drake's instead, with a ferret on my shoulder. Voodoo Magic was in a Wolf cosplay, being trailed by a woman with short red hair. I'm not entirely sure what we doing, but I knew that everyone had just came back from swimming in the ocean. A hurricane was supposed to come in, so, of course everyone wants to leave, but we can't because everything's been locked down. People are panicking, and Voodoo and I are hiding in the cafeteria, in front of the sandwich bar. The panic kinda dies down, and suddenly everyone's putting on either Alien or Predator costumes.

I don't even want to bother attempting to analyze this mess.

[Huggs]

Too much of mine was forgotten, but I remember there was an old woman fishing down an abandoned road that was half flooded. She hooked two large fish at the same time, contrary to physics.  They turned out to be novelty Godzilla inflatables, and a bidding war began between some old people in a nearby boat, and some fat lady with a cigar in her mouth.

I unhooked them during the argument and left correct change. The old woman was offering to throw in some large plastic Novelty coke bottles as a bonus but cighead wasn't going for it. Then I visited an old dream where Ernest p worrell hooked an underwater fried chicken on a flooded street and it turned into some kind of river monster and was fighting him to the death as opera played. I remembered there was a thermos with some soup nearby, so I just sat and watched the show this time.

Guess I had fishing on the brain. That and the flooding we've been having.

[Predwars24]

I'm driving a nice car, in the passenger seat it's Hailee Steinfeld, in the backseat sits Chloe Bennet, Chris Pratt and Jeff Goldblum on the way to a movie set where we're filming. We film a hilarious scene that I can't remember what exactly happened but after the take we're all laughing. I go home and don't remember much but I end up waking up in the dream next to Chloe Bennet and Hailee Steinfeld on the same bed mind you (Obviously had  a good time in the dream) Then I woke up before I could drive into the sunset, eminem might as well have been there to tell me "Back to reality, op there goes gravity!"

[Huggs]

Dreamed I packed up and moved to the big town. Went down to the unemployment office and ran into this guy who apparently put the word out that I was freelance. Later that night I was approached by a guy offering serious cash for some less than legal work. Followed him to the bad side of town and wound up making a deal.

There was some woman that was dying. The problem was that she was pregnant and the kid had to survive. They took me to hells version of an operating room and had me lay down and gave me a local anesthetic. They cut open the right side of my chest near the top of the pectoral while another group sliced open the woman's abdomen. They transferred the fetus into my chest and "wired it up" as best they could. I would provide the blood flow while a small portable unit that looked like it had been stolen supplied everything else. It would only work for about 72 hours.

I was sown back up as the dead woman was removed from the room. It was a strange feeling at first, as I had reduced range of motion in my right arm. I was given instructions on where to rendezvous with the receiving party. I asked no questions, which seemed to relieve them. I grabbed my magnum, put on my jacket and was shown out through an alley. What followed after was just standard action stuff and a lot of escaping, except for the constant need to protect the right side of my chest from injury. This proved very difficult during a fall and a particularly nasty 1 on 1 in the small bathroom of a building I was patching myself up in.

I anticipated being screwed over at the end, and took measures to screw them first. I had just kicked some dude out of a truck when it was T-boned from the passenger side and I woke up. Thank goodness. I was getting the crap beat out of me.

[TheSailingRabbit]

So I dreamt that it's a few days before Christmas. It's snowing hard outside, and it's almost one in the morning. I can't sleep, so I go downstairs because one of the movie channels is running an Alien marathon. I caught the tail-end of A3, and didn't want to see Resurrection, but there was nothing else on, so I stayed put. For some reason, it was a much more graphic and gross cut of the film, and I became weirdly afraid Gediman was gonna pull me through the screen.

About an hour in, someone comes downstairs. Drake is holding one of my stuffed animals, and looks at me with that grumpy expression, saying, "Why the hell are you watching that?"

I tell him I can't sleep and there's nothing else to do. He looks out the window, mutters something about how Spunkmeyer and Hudson are going to shovel in the morning, and decides to sit with me on the couch. A few minutes later, he starts looking nervous, and says, "Turn off the TV."

I try, but it won't turn off. That's when I woke up.

[Huggs]

Dreamed I was in a football stadium at night and a large semi-claymation version of the hulk was going insane and destroying everything. I made it to the parking lot where the was an intense battle going on between local pd and some of the weirdest robots I've ever seen. I survived almost getting fried with a flamethrower and then went home confused.

Woke up the next morning and watched my local news as Paul Sr. from American Chopper reported on a prostitution ring that was busted in my town. I remember recognizing some of the women. Went for a walk to clear My head, and wound up back at the stadium. They were still cleaning up the mess from the night before. I was talking to this little kid who unbelievably was in charge of the surveillance system, when a guy who was supposed to be an old acquaintance walked up and asked to talk with me.

He led me Down a side alley to this one guy who was an obvious troublemaker. He was twirling a filet knife in his right hand  and spouting off about union business.  After it became apparent I wasn't comfortable getting involved, it was made clear to me that I didn't have a choice. I told the family in the security booth to leave and then I asked the jerk where he was from. He said Arkansas. I laughed and said if he wasn't from here he shouldn't be causing trouble. He swung the knife. I grabbed his forearm. Manipulating his limbs, and with the help of a cinder block wall, I sent him to la la land, and gently set his unconscious hiney in a nearby trash can. I broke the knife and threw it away. The other guy told me I was a deadman. I said I wasn't worried. After evading both the police and civilian forces, I found my way home, where I had a delivery waiting for me.

I had ordered a book but they had sent me a Blu-ray of the will Ferrell collection. It was pink and white and he was wearing a nice sweater. The titles of the films included "I love cookies 1&2" and hot something or other. Depressed by this, I went to take a nap and found that large mice had hoarded things under my bed. I called a family meeting with my cats, but they refused to listen.

I gave up and went for a snack.

There was some other stuff. A stint in prison. Hugging an old friend. I worked on a bridge, made my way through a post apocalyptic city and something about a hot air balloon that ran on Dorito power. But it's all too fuzzy to recall in detail.

[TheSailingRabbit]

I had ordered a book but they had sent me a Blu-ray of the will Ferrell collection. It was pink and white and he was wearing a nice sweater. The titles of the films included "I love cookies 1&2" and hot something or other. Depressed by this, I went to take a nap and found that large mice had hoarded things under my bed.

It sounds like Baron's getting to your subconscious.

I called a family meeting with my cats, but they refused to listen.

Not sure why this is funny. Probably because I rant to my cat occasionally.

[Huggs]

Oh yeah, and there was section in an old castle where a friend and I were playing hide n seek with motion trackers. David 8 asked to join in. When I noticed he was studying us and imitating certain things, we got outta there.

I had ordered a book but they had sent me a Blu-ray of the will Ferrell collection. It was pink and white and he was wearing a nice sweater. The titles of the films included "I love cookies 1&2" and hot something or other. Depressed by this, I went to take a nap and found that large mice had hoarded things under my bed.

It sounds like Baron's getting to your subconscious.

I called a family meeting with my cats, but they refused to listen.

Not sure why this is funny. Probably because I rant to my cat occasionally.

I thought of him when I saw it. I figured he'd love it. I almost went to pm him in the dream.

[[cancerblack]]

Anyone ever dream with a full soundtrack? I did last night, might have been the first time ever.