Leslie Nielson as Ripley, starring in Alien!!
Everyone dies not by the alien but by Ripley accidentally causing their deaths.
Kane died from food poisoning due to Ripley's lack of cooking skills not from a chestburster but he would have died from one anyway as it bursts out afterwards.
Brent is killed when a motion tracker is thrown at his head by Ripley to help find the cat. The alien collects his body.
Dallas is killed when the vent's openings are closed by Ripley right in front of him as he was just about to kill the alien with the flamethrower, causing the flame to reflect back on the now closed opening and set him on fire.
Ash is killed when trying to take a swing at Ripley who has his back turned but suddenly sees a shiny object on the floor and picks it up, causing Ash to miss, spin out of control and fall into a console, getting electrocuted and blown up.
While Ripley is in the shuttle and fiddling about with the buttons, he accidentally sets off the alarm in the room that Lambert and Parker are in, attracting the alien to them, but Lambert dies of a heart attack and Parker misses the alien with the hook, trips over Lambert and impales himself with the hook.
The Alien is killed when Ripley accidentally opens the airlock door, being completely unaware that the Alien that was just sucked out was sneaking up on him. Fortunately Ripley was strapped in a chair and closed the door before further damage could be done.
