BWAHAHAAAAAA!!!! What makes you so sure? This is the version I want to see:
After being in hypersleep our 3 indomitable heroes emerge from their hypersleep, mysteriously aged 30 years for some strange reason. Ripley gets out of bed and immediately straps a pulse rifle to one side of her zimmer frame. A flame thrower is then gaffer taped to the other. She's ready for action. One slow step at a time. In the meantime, the younger, albeit scar faced Hicks takes a single sideling glance at her and says 'Nah. I aint gonna hit that.'
He turns and in the next hypersleep pod he watches Rebecca Jordan emerge. She's in her mid 30's now and dirty old man Hicks finds himself drooling longingly at her slender form. "Yeah." That's more like it." He says under his breath. "30... and still a virgin! "
Yeah... right. Can't be any worse.