Lindelof: Okay, I must say, this "ancient astronaut" angle is GOLD, Sir Ridley...pure GOLD! I have managed to incorporate ancient Greek Mythology, Akkadian/Sumerian/Babylonian, some Mayan, a sprinkle of Egyptian and a few shakes of Nazca, Hindu and the giant pygmies of Beckles.
Sir Ridley: The giant pygmies of Beckles?
Lindelof: Well, we could leave them out, if you want.
Sir Ridley: What about Old Testament stuff? We need Old Testament stuff...you know, Ezekiel and all that.
Lindelof: I thought we could save the Bible for the sequel. No sense in upsetting the Christians, Jews and quite probably the Muslims, at this point.
Sir Ridley: Hmm...not bad. I like your thinking. What about the Druid culture...you know, Stonehenge, standing stones, and all that?
Lindelof: Well, I thought that might be a bit to "English"...especially for the French market. As it is, they will be pissed I wasn't able to shoe-horn in the Carnac stones.
Sir Ridley: Well, what does Spaiht's think about the progress so far?
Lindelof: Ummm....well, I have been trying to get in touch with him, but apparently he has been on extended leave of absence, due to a serious flare-up of irritable bowel syndrome.
Sir Ridley: What...surely you can reach his secretary?
Lindelof: Err...umm...no, his secretary has suddenly come down with a slight case of hemorrhagic fever.
Sir Ridley: Well give me Spaiht's number.
Lindelof: It's unlisted...I mean, it has been disconnected. No, scratch that, I just remembered, he doesn't have a phone.
Sir Ridley: Well how the f**k to you communicate with him?
Lindelof: Carrier Pigeons.
Sir Ridley: But, you are keeping him completely in the loop, and encouraging his input and suggestions...right?
Lindelof: Oh, yes...yes...of course. Not to worry.
Sir Ridley: Okay, back to the topic at hand...what have we missed?
Lindelof: Can't think of anything...we have definitely covered it all, no question!
Sir Ridley: Well, what about Norse Mythology?
Lindelof: ..........................umm, yeah, well of course, Norse Mythology. Sure.
Sir Ridley: I don't see anything relating to Norse Mythology in the script?
Lindelof: Oh, well that was Spaiht's responsibility.
Sir Ridley: You are sure?
Lindelof: Umm, absolutely. As a matter of fact, he was supposed to send over a new draft with the Norse stuff, but the Carrier Pigeons all came down with West Nile, and are out of commission.
Sir Ridley: Did they?
Lindelof: Yes, very tragic, Sir.
Sir Ridley: All right, I want you to hit the books, and integrate all the important Norse myths into this story. And I mean really get into this research. I DO NOT want you relying on Wikipedia for any of this shit.
Lindelof: Perish the thought, sir. It would never even cross my mind.
Sir Ridley: Good, good. Let's meet together same time next week. I still want you to touch base with Spaiht's on this Norse stuff.
Lindelof: Yes sir, I will give him a call as soon as we are finished here.
Sir Ridley: I thought you said he didn't have a phone?
Lindelof: I meant I will send out a pigeon with the message.
Sir Ridley: I thought you said they all succumbed to West Nile?
Lindelof: No, no, no...I didn't mean pigeons, I meant I will use our ultra-secret backup.
Sir Ridley: And what is that?
Lindelof: We communicate via Ouija board.
Sir Ridley: Really...does it work?
Lindelof: Like a charm. Speaking of which...I think there might just be an idea for another movie with this.
Sir Ridley: f**king BRILLIANT !!!!