A Very Fatale Christmas

Started by Space Sweeper, Dec 23, 2010, 04:51:37 PM

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A Very Fatale Christmas (Read 3,024 times)

Space Sweeper

Space Sweeper

A Very Fatale Christmas

(The following occurs in between Episodes 2 and 3, which can be read here.)



Juliana closed her eyes as the snow gently touched and fell off of her face. She arched her head toward the sky and let the snow fall, with no objections to the feeling of the moment. Christmas music played over loudspeakers in the distance, and she became lost in the moment. Such perfection in the life of Juliana Emerson was rare- but like all other things in her life, it would never last.

------------------------

"How about Whistler?" Juliet asked. Dave had been stressed to the point of homicide-inducing behavior. Earlier that day he had thoughts of Juliana taking down the media crowd outside the offices. Everybody dreams of killing people, but through somebody else? That's another story. "I'm leaning more towards the Swiss Alps." Said Juliana from the corner of the room, twirling the end of her ponytail. "What's wrong with Aspen?" asked Dave with honest confusion. "Aspen is in the United States, Dave." Juliana responded. "What does that mean?" he responded ignorantly.

"For f**k's sake! I would think that the CEO of the most widely acclaimed news corporation this side of the Galaxy would have that much social awareness." Juliana responded smarmily. Dave shrugged, and Juliet informed him "Dave, the United States has received the most.. critical attention of any of these countries by our news statistics.". "And? Some things never change, you know? I'd prefer to have it on my home soil then with the Swiss or, heh, the Canucks. Juliet could you search up any notable events in Aspen as of late?"

"Already have," She responded quickly, "annual holiday parade, Tara Ellis is in town for a live performance at a Christmas Concert, and.. 13 unknown murders in the past 3 weeks.". " Thirteen? Holy shit. Well, if that becomes a problem, we'll uh, just get Juliana to take care of that." Dave said carelessly. Juliana looked up from her trans-panel and snapped her attention to Dave, who then shifted nervously as Juliet turned around with a look of either amusement or honest interest. "Who'd be paying me?" she asked. "Cue You Cue would, silly!" Dave said with an attempt at fearlessness.

"You would pay me? Please, Dave, I doubt you've paid an employee for a special services since-" she stopped and looked at Juliet as a punch-line. Juliet burst out in laughter and Dave continued "Look, this is only as a precaution.. you know, incase this guy hears that Quote Un-Quote is  in town and he doesn't want that much attention. Consider it a security job." "Hey as long as you're good for the money, I'll even do so much as hunt the f**ker." She responded acceptingly. "Well now, looks like it's gonna be a Merry Christmas after all!" Dave said with a smile wide across his face.


The decision to host the annual Christmas party on Earth was an obvious one. No inter-species politics, no FTL travel, assuming the human media was stationed at Earth, and the unmistakable Christmas spirit-inspiring fact of celebrating on the holiday's home world. Manifest City had a atmosphere generator and weather simulator that went along with Earth's seasons, but it never seemed genuine. Actually being on Earth was a vastly different then being on Manifest. The holidays are something humanity won't soon let go of- they had grown attached, and to take something like it out of their lives would be a complete error, unforgotten by all current and future generations.

For Juliana Emerson, the Christmas holidays were a magical and relaxing time of year, where she could forget all of her worries. She would often attempt the same thing at other times of the year, but staring down an empty bottle of rum was vastly different from staring out a window at the calm snowfall, Earthside. The atmosphere had always been positive in the Quote Un-Quote offices during the holiday season, with boughs of holly, ribbons, multi-colored lights, mistletoe, and... Juliet. "Oh, how I love the holidays!" she exclaimed to Juliana. She wore a bright red dress, lined with a white fluff mocking the famous Santa Clause getup- she also wore a large green ribbon around her waist which closed into a bow in the center.

"So do I, but I'm not exactly giving myself to anyone as a gift." Juliana replied staring at the bow. "Oh, this? No, I'm just all caught up in the Christmas spirit! They didn't celebrate anything like this on Trovial.. or in such an extravagant way.". Dave then walked in the room swinging his arms as he walked, as gay as could be (What? It's Christmas, the word "gay" reprises it's original meaning). "Well, I've booked the Presidential Mixer Hall in Aspen and sent the invites." He said with a wide smile. "What percentage of the guests will be prostitutes?" asked Juliana sarcastically. "Oh, by the way," Juliet cut in, "I was going to ask you if it would be okay if I could bring some of my friends along?". Thoughts of unspeakable scenarios rushed through Dave's head on what could be imagined as a single track, all colliding into the words "DO WANT.", which unfortunately came out of his mouth. "Um.. okay then, I'll let them know!" Juliet said cheerfully as she turned around and walked off.

Dave saw her out using nothing but his eyes and shifted his gaze as soon as Juliet was out of sight to Juliana who was sitting cross-legged on a stool with her arms folded. "What's the matter, you only look that grumpy when.." Dave trailed off- there was nothing else he could say; he had not considered all of the times he had seen this particular scowl. She knows exactly what he is thinking. "Oh like I was going to turn that possibility down!" he laughed as he walked down the hall humming Christmas tunes. Julie sat there atop Juliet's desk- this was not Juliana Emerson's Christmas.


The 2 hour trip down to Earth's surface in the VIP liner was brutally boring for Juliana. She sat across from Dave and Juliet and had to listen to their nonstop tacky and overblown ideas for the Quote Un-Quote Christmas party. It was an interruption over Juliana's thought process. She was no mathematician, but she could spin together a track and kill plan brilliantly and with little effort. The negative thing was that there were almost no known social references, the on-board maps had no vantage points laid out for the Mixer Hall, and there were two giddy children sitting across from her.

She wanted to work fast and take this "Christmas Killer" out before the time of the party- which was tomorrow night. "Juliana." But how was she going to track him down without any leads? "Juliana." She had no knowledge of Aspen or it's residents, and the mere fact that there was a killer about in such a place astounded her even- "Juliana!" Dave repeated for the third time. "What!?" she replied, irritated. "Thought you fell on one of your syringes there- yes, could you contact the Mixer crew and ask them if they would put mistletoe at every entrance and every exit? You've got that lovely headset.."

"Yes. Yes, every entrance and every exit. Yeah, every single one. Okay. Okay, yes, you too." You know, Dave, every time you have me do shit like that, I feel like the secretary." Juliana, Juliet, and Dave walked into the airport from the cold. The interior was just as Juliet had imagined it would look like- marble tiled floors, high ceilings, large skylights, and wooden accents giving the entire building a massive cabin-like feeling.. The Presidential Mixer Hall was no different. Juliet noticed Dave starting to close walk as they approached the entrance- she knew what he was up to, but Juliana grabbed her by the forearm and pulled her away and through the door. Dave was sad.


Dave threw his bags on the ground and sighed happily as he looked down the massive hall- on the right side, there was the kitchen and the catering tables. A fantastic smell rolled in from the kitchen, and he couldn't resist hovering over to it like some kind of cartoon character. Juliana tried not to smile as she came in, but she could help it. Being a killer hadn't killed her spirit- she loved this kind of thing; the glamour, the sentimental feeling- it was the holiday spirit, and there was no denying it. The skylights had a mechanism that would wipe off the snowfall every thirty minutes,  above the kitchen, there was an progress meter on each table's meals, and there was also an electronic surveillance display near the back of the south side of the hall which had shown each person, and vehicle coming up the hill that the Hall sat atop.

As Juliet approached the setup crew and inquired them about the stage audio, Juliana approached Dave who was absolutely ecstatic. "I'm gonna be going out for a bit- I'm taking my QUQ laminent with me too- I'll need to talk to the police." She said under her breath. Dave put his hand on her shoulder and walked with her. "You know, I really appreciate this.." had said honestly. "Well you should, I'm kinda bending over backwards for you on this one." She said with a half-laugh. "Yeah.. yeah you are.. see," he broke into a slightly less confident tone that made Juliana's attitude change as well "I've already collected the data, and I've found that every person who has been killed thus far has received a Christmas letter from 'an anonymous friend'..." he trailed off. "And?" she responded impatiently. "And when we were in the airport, I was approached by a courier, and given one that fit the details." He said, now completely serious, but confident.

Juliana looked toward the ceiling just as the snow was being wiped off. "f**k me.." She groaned. This was no longer just a track and kill, she had to prevent an assassination. "Are you sure he'd go through with it with all of the people that are going to be here?"


A dark character slid through the air ducts above the senator's office and dropped down through the opening beneath him. He landed behind the senator, stabbed him in the back with his knife, snapped his neck while he was still in shock, and quickly cracked off four rounds of his suppressed pistol; one for each guard's face. He then picked up the Christmas card sitting on the desk and put it in his storage unit.


"You know, Julie, I have my suspicions this guy is the kind that could pull such a thing off.". Juliana stopped walking, crossed her arms and looked wearily at Dave. "Yes, like you." Dave said with in a slightly condescending tone. "So what's the plan?" she asked. "Well, with those reports confirming he's an infiltrator.. I say you take him down here. Hopefully he comes early in, I really don't want any nasty surprises when I'm actually having fun." He said calmly. "Sounds like a plan to me. Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to holding out all night waiting for some serial killer to kill my boss.." she said, which caused Dave to turn around with raised eyebrows. "Which won't happen!" she said cheerfully as she tapped Dave on the head and walked on past him. As she walked on, Dave's gaze shifted downward while watching her before she went into the storage locker. Naturally.


She wanted to know what they were talking about. Nothing made her angrier than not knowing a plan as soon as it is created, and not knowing the plan at all was too much- but that never happened. She watched as Emerson walked away from Dave, longing to know what had just been planned between the two of them. It was almost too much, she felt like suffocating- maybe it was just the bow.


The next day came quickly, and Juliana was up by 5:00 AM. No sense in sleeping in and waiting for Dave to receive a knife in the back and have his neck twisted- as the police files reported. The bodies where an interesting scene- the knife went through his back and punctured his heart. You can't scream when your lungs are filling up with blood.. perfect time to have your neck snapped. Each guard's body was basic enough- hole straight through the head, a clean kill. However, larger than average entry and exit holes were strange; he must have been using personalized rounds. Juliana did too.

Juliana left the resort and head up to Hall. As she walked in, she was blasted the warm heat from the kitchen and the refined air conditioning. She was also blinded by a white light, which was stopped as Juliet stepped in front of it. "Watch the tree!" she squealed to the crew as they brushed past Juliana coming through the door. It was grand, massive, and almost touched the Hall's ceiling. "There is NO way that thing is natural." Juliana said as she approached Juliet. "Nope, it's modified. Still technically a living tree, but it was born in some sort of lab, that's for sure." Juliet said, carefully watching the crew adjust the tree to it's standing post. "Jesus Christ, Dave has always been one for size, hasn't he?" Juliet asked.

"I suppose so- doubt he always gets the size he likes though." Juliana responded jokingly which caused both of them to laugh uncontrollably. "How much sleep have you gotten?" Juliana asked. "Uh.. well, about zero hours and zero minutes, tempted to say zero seconds, but I think I entered a dream like state when they were stringing up the lights around 2:00 AM." Juliet responded casually, "It was sooo cool..".  Juliana looked at Juliet, estranged. "Okay then, I recommend the princess gets her beauty sleep before the ball." Juliana said before she walked into the storage room which now required a card to access.

Juliana drew her card and entered the room, closing the door behind her. The was a surveillance setup, and two brief cases. Within the first briefcase there were two suppressed handguns with backup clips, and in the second case, there was a sniper rifle with a suppression and flash hider attachment. The knives were in their place.. along with the iron cutters- which were rarely used for cutting iron..


Juliana had used the access to the roof through the storage locker. The elevator was fast and got her to the roof in seconds. Dave probably had somebody modify it. Good idea too, if anything was picked up on the scanners, she wouldn't want to be just standing there forever, helpless. Juliana hated the feeling of helplessness, and she hated the feeling of insignificance even more. It wasn't her ego, it was just her feeling of place in the universe. And she was right- she was more than less of a person. Worth more than one thousand everyday men. But she also didn't want to face her significance- this didn't come across as difficult for her, seeing as if she got to thinking about it, she could drown such thoughts in a bottle.

Looking out over Aspen from atop the Hall, never mind the hill it sat atop, gave off a mind blowing feeling. Juliana was about as awe-struck as she was disorientated. On Manifest, when looking down from a ledge, everything had the feeling that you could walk straight down it- and when she was performing any infiltrations above or below the atmospheric barrier, she could. After the strange feeling passed, she set up the sniper at the best vantage point, and leaned against the skylight, relaxed. She didn't have her armor on, but she decided against leaning against the glass- she'd rather not test it.

Space Sweeper

Space Sweeper

#1
Time went by like nothing, and guests had phoned in telling of their arrival at the Aspen airport. Media outlets, scientists, development tycoons, lawyers, celebrities, and corporate geniuses were among the crowd invited. The exact kind of people Juliet liked to surround herself with. She was one of them, wasn't she? She still felt like helping Juliana set up the perimeter though, instead of parading setup crewmen in and out the front door with an endless list of objects, and constant glares at her breasts and backside. This wasn't her calling, but she was needed here- this is what Dave had assigned to her. He could have changed the preset ring volume on her wireless headset to "low" though, for f**k's sake.


Juliet had two hours to look presentable, and with her job, that was mandatory. She went back to the resort with Dave and worked with surgical precision in her room. She hadn't slept for nearly 28 hours  and she had started to look like the Spears and Lohans of the 21st century. Shower, makeup, a lock of the door (Dave precaution), and an elegant holiday themed dress similar to the former, but white.  She stepped into the hallways and started walking until she saw Juliana's door open. She was caught off guard- she was expecting her to come out in her CASE armor, and loaded to the teeth, but really, that wouldn't have made much sense at all; they were in a public area after all. No- she was dressed in a glistening gown, from her shoulders to her heels, showing off her athletic figure, and had her infamous large ponytail let down, hair laying gently over her right arm. In simple terms, she looked beautiful. "I hardly see the point in standing around, Miss Turner," Juliana smiled, which caused Juliet to do the same, "let's go be professional- whatever the profession may be.". And in that moment, they shared a mutual happiness.


Dave was calm as always. This was not the largest concern for him, he had full confidence in Juliana's abilities, as he should. When he entered the Hall, which was already filled with guests he had Juliet's arm tied with his. They walked right under the mistletoe again.. damn. That would have been a nice publicity shot. When both Juliana and Juliet where inside, heads turned and MediaBots hovered into their positions snapping photos of the trio, nudging each other as the actual photographers would have done anyways. Dave made his way through the crowd and bumped into none other than the Manifest City Police Department's Lieutenant Matthews.

"Well now, Lieutenant! I'm so glad you could make the trip." Dave said with a people-pleasing smile. "Yes, well, this is really quite the extravagant event you've got going here Dave. Happy I could join in." he replied. Robert Matthews was a mild-mannered man, and he genuinely enjoyed Dave's company, as Dave did his. He was also a great source opportunity for Dave, Quote Un-Quote as a whole and Juliana as a result. Sergeant Alyssa Jansen brushed by them. "Hey Dave, cool you could set this up." She said quickly. Sergeant Jansen was the rising pride of the MCPD- quick on her feet, tough, and had an unflinching eye for trouble. This sometimes could worry Dave in his calmest of states. And her seemingly permanent scowl was worn over a perfectly good face, so there was no such thing as a "good" publicity shot- unless you were posing for SRSLY Weekly, and even that title shouldn't be taken so literally. Dave would have to keep her occupied tonight- he didn't know how suspicious she was, but he couldn't risk her finding the storage locker.


The night went on, and at 10:30 AM on the dot, Juliana caught message of an audio alert to get to the storage room. She slipped away from the Media Base College Grads and entered the storage room under the radar- something that their latest guest on the premises was not. The scanners sent out a search every five seconds, and there was only one recorded reading- that was not good. She ran to the elevator and shot up toward the rooftop. The second she hit a stop, she ran and slid toward the sniper that was resting upon the perch. Her hands were immediately fitted to it, and she fixed her aim toward the last known location. Nothing, and she had still received null reports on the wireless. "f**k!" she swore under her breath.


Dave turned around to see Zairian Hannek... the CEO of Nucleus, a bio and technological engineering corporation, notorious for pin-point accuracy in it's developments, and lesser known only by few higher-ups (such as Dave), it's mercenaries. "Hello, David Karrington." The imposing figure said.


Juliana checked the scanners again- nothing. The situation was growing sour, she needed to track down the source- and quickly. Suddenly the rooftop scanner blared; she was just up there! It was on the opposite side of the roof, she still had time. Again she shot up to the roof, but this time she caught a glimpse of the assassin- he dove into the ventilation shaft- he was within the perimeter.. there was a breach.


"Hey, Zairian.." Dave said, stretching out his words, "how's it going?". "If business is what you mean, then it is going downright fantastic." He replied with a cold tone. "Well.. that's, that sounds well, good!"- Dave was growing intense, he noticed Juliana's suppressed alert hum in his earlobe. "Quite. Many breakthroughs this year.. made many deals.. made many.. friends.".


Juliana opened the case holding the two suppressed handguns, and dove into the ventilation after the assassin. She didn't have time to position a landing, she bumped against the side of the vent during the drop and hit the bottom flat on her back. She didn't have time to feel the pain, she just had to find this son of a bitch before he could cause a serious problem.


Juliet now felt sick. She wasn't sure what it was, she only had one glass of wine and she had made sure she had eaten before doing anything. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the people- it didn't matter. She just needed to get to the washroom. She moved effortlessly through the crowd, with the calm surface look she had began to be known for- but then she came across Sergeant Jansen. "Juliana's been in that room a long time." Jansen said as she pointed to the storage room, "She alright?".


Juliana rushed through the vents, trying to get Dave's signal "Son of a bitch!" she cursed as a high-pitched whine cut through her ear as she tried to switch frequencies. She dropped to a knee clutching her head.


"Oh, I'm sure she's fine." Juliet responded quickly. She couldn't do this- not now. "Well, see, I'm just curious as to what has got her so occupied in there- I mean, the party is out here." Jansen said in an intimidating tone. Really wasn't intimidating to Juliet though, she just wanted to throw up and be done with it. "Oh well you know Julie, always finding SOMETHING to do! Ha-ha! I'm sorry, Sergeant, would you excuse me?" Juliet said, now less subtle and brushing by Jansen. The Sergeant saw her enter the women's restroom and didn't attempt to follow. Of all of the people at QUQ, Juliet Turner was the least of her concerns. She'd rather watch that storage room door for Emerson's eventual exit.


"Well, that's good for you, Zairian." Dave had been getting subtly knocked around this whole conversation, he had to end it on his own terms. "I'll look forward to doing a couple stories on your work.". Dave had just crossed the line, but you would never be able to tell judging by Zairian or his companion with an arm sling behind him's collected expression. "Now, if you would excuse me, I'm going to go find my leading ladies." Dave smiled and nudged gently past the man with the sling.


Juliet hung over the bowl of the toilet, dizzy. She realized that the problem was not so much her stomach now, but a sharp pain in the side of her neck. Okay- dizzier now, losing balance, going numb, losing sight... The Assassin caught Juliet as she fell to the floor, and put his syringe in it's holster, landing the cap perfectly over the tip.


Juliet woke up five minutes later strapped to an inverted table in the walk-in fridge. And it was cold. She realized what she should have a couple hours ago- she had been drugged. But what did whoever this was want with her? The Christmas Killer walked up to her when he noticed she was awake. "I don't think I'll have to worry about anybody trying to get in here- the main courses have already been served; I figure we'll be done before the masses demand dessert." He said in a joking manner. "Who are you supposed to be exactly, Hans Gruber?" she said in an attempt to humor him. "What?" he asked confused with her seemingly random name-drop. "Don't know your 20th century movies, huh?"


Juliana dropped down where the grate had been smashed in and replaced. He had taken somebody. The opening was to the Women's washroom, and the stall was the only one left open. A woman? Obviously. A corporate? Media? No, not just any. Quote Un-Quote? Definitely. Not her, then- Juliet.


Dave sat back as he watched one of the science company's recorded presentations that played through the massive view screen at the front of the Hall. The awakening of Walt Disney from cryogenic sleep did not interest him a great deal. Walt was shown shaking the hands of the scientists, and asked the project lead's name. "Eddie Longowivich, sir." Said the scientist. "Longowivich you say? Would that happen to be Jewish?" Disney asked back. Longowivich then stared into the camera nervously and the presentation ended, causing the Hall to erupt into cheers and claps. Applauding the rebirth of the most influential anti-Semite behind Adolf Hitler. Dave then prayed that Mel Gibson had not been put in cryogenic sleep as well. A Wayne Newton impersonator than jumped up on stage and began to sing "Blue Moon". Dave's interest level had now dropped below zero.


"I can tell you're not afraid because you're a killer. Like me." The Assassin said looking at Juliet. Juliet then did a long blink and said "Excuse me? I'm sorry, friend, but you seem to have me confused with somebody else.". "Oh, do I, Miss Emerson?".


Juliana rushed through the air ducts until she heard two voices: one male, the other female- Juliet.


"Oh, yes- I'm sorry, I'm still a bit dizzy from the drugging." Juliet said sarcastically. "Yes, I am Juliana Emerson.". "Glad to see we're cooperating" he responded. "Now see, when Mister Tarhn gave me orders, he wanted me to send a clear message to both you and David Karrington, who I be getting to momentarily by the way- he has many eyes, and he asks all not to doubt his gaze, for he is all seeing. I personally think he's batshit crazy, but hey, never turn down such orders.." he said as he reached for his sidearm. "Wait," Juliet cut in, "I have a message for "Pool Hand" Luke as well." Juliana closed in on the scene from above. "I want you to tell him that he should probably get more information on who his targets are exactly. I'm not Juliana Emerson, you dumb son of a bitch." She said in such a cold tone that she could turn the fridge into a freezer. "Then who are you?" the Assassin asked with a slight infliction of fear in his voice. "I'm the motherf**king secretary- Juliet Turner. And I want you to tell Tarhn, and this is from me: I will-" Juliana dropped in behind The Christmas Killer and he snapped around quicker than she had predicted. He swung at her with his sidearm, and hit her sideways. She recovered quickly and kicked the gun out of his hand, then tackled him to the ground.


She activated the iron cutter she had attached crudely to her unarmored wrist with surgical tape and struggled to push them down on the Christmas Killer with all of her strength- a battle she was winning until he caught her off guard with a knee to the gut. She tumbled and he leapt for his sidearm. It gave Juliana enough time to draw both of her suppressed handguns and fire at his back, which allowed two rounds to pass through the weaker part of his armor around his shoulder and the others deflected off his back. He held back a yell, and grunted in pain. He had enough- he spun around with his wrist-blade drawn and met Juliana's iron cutter head-on. The cutter went under his jaw and into his head. They stood there in place for a split second, and Juliana slammed him to the ground, her cutter still in his neck. The blue flame disappeared, and with it, the threat of the night.


She brought Juliet to the washroom unnoticed to get her cleaned up. Little words were spoken between the two, and Juliet went back into the Hall as if nothing had happened. Juliana had started walking toward the front entrance, which to her was and exit. She could feel the soothing cool breeze on her skin until she heard a voice from behind her with a message that was just cold: "You should work on your exit and entrance continuity.". Juliana spun around, but could not find the speaker amongst the crowd. That didn't matter though- she knew it was Sergeant Jansen.


Juliet sat down beside Dave who was fiddling around with a holographic aesthetic in his drink, putting his finger through it and waving. "Oh, where were you?" he said in a downed voice. Juliet smirked and said "Threat of the night has been neutralized.", then looked toward Dave with a full enthusiastic smile and raised eyebrows. "Oh? What happened?" he said briefly before Juliet reached over and started kissing him right on the lips. Heads turned, and cheers began. The MediaBots rushed in once again, but this time, Dave didn't have a publicity shot in mind. He was sitting right under a wall-mounted mistletoe, and he didn't even know it. Tis' the season...


The group from the Nucleus table were walking past Juliana as they exited. One of them stopped- it was the man in the arm sling. He turned around and stared at Juliana, then called to her, "Juliana Emerson, am I correct?". She didn't feel like talking, but she had to be a good host "Yes, I sure am." She said with a smile. "Just making sure- I'm bad with names and faces. Don't want to cause any future identity confusions." The tall older man responded as he clutched his sling and walked away with the rest of the Nucleus crew.


Juliana closed her eyes as the snow gently touched and fell off of her face. She arched her head toward the sky and let the snow fall with no objections to the feeling of the moment. Christmas music played over loudspeakers in the distance, and she became lost in the moment. Such perfection in the life of  Juliana Emerson was rare- but like all other things in her life, it would never last.

Purebreedalien

Purebreedalien

#2
I really enjoyed that Sweeper, truly worth the wait. I'm now even more eagerly anticipating the series so I can find out what happens afterwards. ;D

Space Sweeper

Space Sweeper

#3
Well, technically you have seen some of the aftermath (Episode 3). This is canon, but it won't be released as an episode- which is why I wrote it in story form.

Can people answer me the following query?:
-Favorite character
-Favortie scene
-Favorite line
-Biggest question brought up
-Thing you are looking most eagerly to see resolved

chupacabras acheronsis


Space Sweeper

You can't. You just can't.

OmegaZilla

OmegaZilla

#6
Enjoyed the whole thing. Really well written. I liked how the ending reprises what is said in the prologue. :)

Purebreedalien

Purebreedalien

#7
Quote from: Space Sweeper on Dec 24, 2010, 12:50:41 AM
Well, technically you have seen some of the aftermath (Episode 3). This is canon, but it won't be released as an episode- which is why I wrote it in story form.

Can people answer me the following query?:
-Favorite character
-Favortie scene
-Favorite line
-Biggest question brought up
-Thing you are looking most eagerly to see resolved

-Juliana

-
QuoteA dark character slid through the air ducts above the senator's office and dropped down through the opening beneath him. He landed behind the senator, stabbed him in the back with his knife, snapped his neck while he was still in shock, and quickly cracked off four rounds of his suppressed pistol; one for each guard's face. He then picked up the Christmas card sitting on the desk and put it in his storage unit.

-
QuoteSuch perfection in the life of  Juliana Emerson was rare- but like all other things in her life, it would never last.

- Dunno about this one.

- Dunno about this one either, all of it I guess. ;D

OmegaZilla

OmegaZilla

#8
Quote from: Space Sweeper on Dec 24, 2010, 12:50:41 AM
Well, technically you have seen some of the aftermath (Episode 3). This is canon, but it won't be released as an episode- which is why I wrote it in story form.

Can people answer me the following query?:
-Favorite character
-Favortie scene
-Favorite line
-Biggest question brought up
-Thing you are looking most eagerly to see resolved

-Juliana
-"Juliana dropped in behind The Christmas Killer and he snapped around quicker than she had predicted. He swung at her with his sidearm, and hit her sideways. She recovered quickly and kicked the gun out of his hand, then tackled him to the ground. She activated the iron cutter she had attached crudely to her unarmored wrist with surgical tape and struggled to push them down on the Christmas Killer with all of her strength- a battle she was winning until he caught her off guard with a knee to the gut. She tumbled and he leapt for his sidearm. It gave Juliana enough time to draw both of her suppressed handguns and fire at his back, which allowed two rounds to pass through the weaker part of his armor around his shoulder and the others deflected off his back. He held back a yell, and grunted in pain. He had enough- he spun around with his wrist-blade drawn and met Juliana's iron cutter head-on. The cutter went under his jaw and into his head. They stood there in place for a split second, and Juliana slammed him to the ground, her cutter still in his neck. The blue flame disappeared, and with it, the threat of the night."
-"I'm the motherf**king secretary- Juliet Turner."
-Sling Arm!
-Dunno.

Cap. Fitzgerald

Cap. Fitzgerald

#9
-Favorite character - Juliana
-Favortie scene - Planning the vacation spot and Fight scene
-Favorite line - "Im the MotherF**king Secretary!" Half expected her to kick his ass while tied up after that line
-Biggest question brought up - How did a Five minute lack of conciousness not cause permanent brain damage like it should?
-Thing you are looking most eagerly to see resolved - Sergeant Jeanson and Nucleus

Feliz Navidad everyone, See you in January.

OmegaZilla

OmegaZilla

#10

Space Sweeper

Space Sweeper

#11
Quote from: Cap. Fitzgerald on Dec 24, 2010, 02:05:42 PM
-Thing you are looking most eagerly to see resolved - Sergeant Jeanson and Nucleus


Good...

Quote from: Cap. Fitzgerald on Dec 24, 2010, 02:05:42 PM
See you in January.
FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Quote from: OmegaZilla on Dec 24, 2010, 11:39:19 AM
-Sling Arm!
f**k Yea.
Spoiler
Aside from the fact that he was Pool Hand Luke Tarhn the whole time?  :D
[close]

SpaceMarines

SpaceMarines

#12
I haven't finished yet, but I have a suggestion to make for future writing; break up your paragraphs. Walls-o-text aren't easy to look at. New paragraph everytime a different character speaks would be good.

Apart from that nit-pick, it's good so far.

Space Sweeper

Space Sweeper

#13
Yeah, it looked a lot different when translated from Microsoft Word.

[UPDATE] Spacing has been fixed.

SpaceMarines

SpaceMarines

#14
This was quite good. Few minor things here and there, but that's just nit-picking.

Quote from: Space Sweeper on Dec 24, 2010, 12:50:41 AM
Can people answer me the following query?:
-Favorite character

Jansen stood out for me a fair bit. Gave me a bit of a Doakes vibe.

Quote from: Space Sweeper on Dec 24, 2010, 12:50:41 AM
-Favortie scene

Juliet on the table, Juliana racing to get there in time.

Quote from: Space Sweeper on Dec 24, 2010, 12:50:41 AM
-Favorite line

Tie.

"Just making sure- I'm bad with names and faces. Don't want to cause any future identity confusions."

Dit quoi?

"I'm not Juliana Emerson, you dumb son of a bitch."

Short, sweet, and to the point.

Quote from: Space Sweeper on Dec 24, 2010, 12:50:41 AM
-Biggest question brought up

Pool Hand has a cult, eh?

Quote from: Space Sweeper on Dec 24, 2010, 12:50:41 AM
-Thing you are looking most eagerly to see resolved

Mister Sling-Arm.

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