ALIN TH RTURN

[SpaceMarines]

I was busy turning into a penguin

You are a man after my own heart.

Stay back. It's mine. You can't have it.

But it's so nice here on Slartibartfast. Please, come join me.

P.S. It's Sam Neill, not Sam Neil.

[SiL]

Yes, I have a long history of misspelling his last name. I left it in this time, because shut up, that's why.

[SpaceMarines]

You'd better be careful; the Vogons will be after you in no time.

[SiL]

The Vogons can get me when we're dead.

[TJ Doc]

And the Zygons?

[SpaceMarines]

Sorry, Doctor Who goes beyond me. I wish I'd watched the show, but there's been too many seasons. I may start on this new Doctor they're getting, though.

[TJ Doc]

*notices thread beginning to derail*

Yeah, yeah! Good plan!

[SpaceMarines]

Actually, I just got a great idea for the crossover thread.

[TJ Doc]

I look forward to it.

*departs*

[SM]

So far all I've come up with is Lego and computer generated backgrounds, with photos of the actors' heads stuck over the Lego heads in post-production.

Do it in pre-production.  Save a lot of mucking about.

Although the black-yellow contrast on Lego men wouldn't make tracking too difficult...

[SiL]

And being stop-motion, it's not like they'd be moving wildly.

I was thinking something South Park style, with cut-out heads. Wouldn't be too difficult to keep the heads in place.

[Aeus]

Sean Pertwee opens the door to the upstairs bedroom (If you haven't seen COMMANDO then that's going to sound weirder than it is)

EDIT: Anderson = Bennett. Gold.

[SiL]

With a sequined vest!

[Aeus]

I just finished reading it. That's some seriously funny shit, enhanced further by the Commando theme tune I put on in the background. 

[SiL]

OHSHIT GUYS

Less than two months after the release of the classic ALIN TH RTURN, production has started on the BIGGER-BUDGET, SLIGHTLY DISAPPOINTING SEQUEL, ALIEN 6: RETURN HARD.

In true movie marketing fashion, here's the opening sequence!

FADE IN:



                EXT. AIRPORT RUNWAY - DAY

                As the CREDITS ROLL we watch a PLANE coming in to land.
                Everything is calm and peaceful, a regular plane
                performing a regular landing on a regular day.

                Until suddenly the ENGINES BURST INTO FLAMES!

                The plane drops like a rock, its wings EXPLODING
                spectacularly, SMOKE and FLAME billowing from the side
                of the plane's body.

                AND THEN IT CRASHES into the runway, a fireball the
                likes of which has NEVER BEEN CAPTURED ON FILM rolling
                up into the once-serene sky.

                The plane is no more than a charred, burning wreck.
                Surely no-one could have survived.



                EXT. WRECKAGE - DAY

                Still alight with fire.

                Atop the remains of the plane a piece of warped metal
                begins to HEAVE, finally falling away to reveal the
                man.

                The myth.

                The legend.

                SEAN PERTWEE.

                In one hand he carries a bouquet of flowers, undamaged;
                in the other a stuffed bear, similarly unmolested by
                the horrifying crash that undoubtedly killed every
                single other person aboard.

                Pertwee surveys his surroundings, then begins to walk
                down the hill of flaming wreckage, the fire parting red
                sea like.

                CUE BITCHIN' 80S MUSIC

                                      ALIEN 6
                                      RETURN HARD