The Further Adventures of Bubba the Predator! #1

[Son of Yautja]

The further adventures of Bubba the Predator #1

Starring:

Bubba ~ The Predator
Grampie Cooter ~ The wise old Elder Hillbilly
PJ ~ Cooter's young and sexy grand daughter
Juney ~ PJ's jealous brother
Bo-pa Joe ~ The mayor of Jacob's holler
and
Nails ~ The giant radioactive Raccoon


Part 1 ~ Origin of Bubba


"Quiet"; Cooter said as he stopped in mid tracks in the small clearing.  The rains hadn't come as normal this spring and the ground was dry and gave away a person's position with every footstep.
"It wasen me Granpie...Bubbas the one. Hez staggering around behin me and iz louder then a ol' grizzly bear fartin in a cave".  Juney whined when Cooter had turned on him.
"Quiet numbnutz"; Cooter scolded him, and he turned to wait for Bubba to catch up with them.

A few paces beyond them, Bubba finally caught up with them.  No matter how long Cooter had been around Bubba, his appearance still gave him a start; "That is the damn near ugliest feller I done ever met" Granpie Cooter thought to himself and he pulled a giant bite out of his tobacco plug.

Bubba stood nearly 7 feet tall!  An old straw hat perched above his face; and what a face it was!  Blood shot little eyes above the worst hair lip anyone in Jacob's holler had ever seen.  He was missing all his upper teeth but hanging from his lower lip were two of the most messed up looking teeth that Gawd ever put on a wild pigs face.  His red and white checkered shirt with a split in the back, gave away the breadth of his big shoulders; But also the two missing buttons in the front gave away his huge pot belly that was a testament to his big appetite.  Faded old dungarees were his only other garments as he walked barefoot through the forest.  His feet were big and had the worse case of "rot-foot" anyone could ever remember seeing.  In his right hand was a bent old spear made of a weird metal Cooter recalled being with Bubba when he first met him and in his left hand was a jug of Cooter's finest shine.  Bubba upon seeing his hunting companions burped and then lifted the jug to his mouth.  Tilting his head back he took a big swaller of that fine tasting "mountain dew".  Some of it ran down the cracks of his "hair lip", but he guzzled enough to hit the spot.

"Waz up Cooterz? Whyz we stuppin,  Youenz fynd a deerr?" Bubba said as he put the cork back in the jug.  Cooter just smiled, a half toothless grin himself and said.  "Nope, the grounds too dry we scaring em all away. Lets set down for a spell and see if ya can't pick up their scent again".

As they plopped down in the small clearing Bubba laid his head back against a tree and was snoozing before Cooter uncorked his own jug.  Cooter looked at Juney; who he reckoned was stupider then a bed bug and shook his head. He also looked on Bubba and thought how proud he was that he was speaking now.  Seemed like yesterday that he couldn't say a word, but only make those weird clicking, crow like sounds...  It was darn near 20 years ago that he finally learned to speak right.  Dwelling on the past the elder hillbilly known to all as Granpie Cooter thought back to the time he met Bubba...it was nearly 50 years ago...


Ten year old Cooter looked up in the sky and saw the falling star!  It looked like it was coming right at Jacob's Holler.  He threw another log on the fire to keep his pa's 500 gallon still at the right temperature and then grabbing a chunk of the cooked squirrel he took off towards the "star".  It landed with such a crash Cooter thought the trees would fall down around him.  He ran another hundred yards and he was upon the fallen star!  It was all ablaze and would of set the surrounding trees on fire as well except for the fact the big rain storm earlier in the day had soaked them well.  Staring wide eyed he saw him!  Coming from the other side of the crashed star a giant figure approached. "Must be someone else come ta see the fallin' star"; Cooter reckoned to himself.  The tall fella had some kind of mask on his face with a large crack running down the middle of it.  Cooter watched as the tall feller looked right at him and then fell to his knees.  He slowly pulled the mask off his face to reveal a huge gash on his brow.  Green blood was trickling down his face and Cooter thought he must have whacked his head somehow a few days prior, cause the green blood could only mean the sore had been festering for a few days.  He also saw the big hair lip with his two snaggly pig's teeth sticking up from it.  On his upper lip were two little nubs where maybe some other teeth had been at one time.

Cooter walked up to the big feller and looked him square in his little eyes; "Here, ya'll wanna piece o my squirrel?  Shot er myself I did".  The big guy sitting on the ground did not reply but just looked at Cooter and the small piece of meat in his hand. "He must be simple in da head", Cooter thought to himself.  So he took a bite of the squirrel and then tried to hand it to the big feller again.  This time he took the offering.  As he ate the small piece of camp fire roasted varmint, Cooter ran back to the still.  He grabbed a small jar of his pappy's moon shine and rushed back to the clearing as it started to rain again.  The fire on the 'star' started to go out as he reached the big feller on the ground.  He handed him the small jar and told him to drink.  After a moment the big feller had drank one or two messy swallows.  "Cooter, I'm Cooter"; the young boy said as he pointed at his chest.  He repeated the act several times until the big feller pointed to his own chest; "B'uhbakka".
Cooter could barley understand a word that was coming from the giant's hair lips.  "Bubba"?  Is that what yer tryin' ta say"?  The hair lipped giant just took another giant swallow of moon shine and finished it.  "Ok, well Bubba it is"!


That had been over 50 years ago Cooter had thought.  He was wiser now, and the elder of Jacob's holler but he still could never decipher how Bubba never seemed to age a day all this time.  Waking up Bubba looked at Cooter who had been staring at him.  His face brightened and his hair lip twisted in what Cooter had come to know as a grin.  "Iz needs mo moo-shinz", Bubba slurred holding up his empty jug.  Kicking his grand son Juney; who had also dozed off, Cooter said; "I reckon we all need some more Bubba. Lets head back home, the deer can wait til ta morrow".  Gathering up their hunting rifles and Bubba's spear, they all made their way back to Jacob's Holler.



....Stay tunded for more adventures of Bubba!