AvP: Species War

Started by War Wager, Feb 14, 2008, 05:04:23 PM

Author
AvP: Species War (Read 10,187 times)

War Wager

War Wager

#30
The prisoners in Alien3 were heavily religious an look how foul mouthed they turned out to be!  :P

Major Alan Schaefer

True, but they made it feel more natural, this seemed alot less

War Wager

War Wager

#32
Consider Alien3 was written by professional writers and this was written in my spare time.  ;)

Major Alan Schaefer

True, but you could try to make it more natural either way...just make it not look like two diffferent people it's such a drastic change...their personality isen't even present just like a robot when you did it

War Wager

War Wager

#34
Race To The Temple

Clad stares up at the towering outline, grabbing his shoulder as blood surges out of the tail wound. The Aliens Queen-like appearence is only differed by two large horns that jut out from the side of it's snouted jaws. It's crest is smaller and sleeker than an egg layers, at overall the creature is much smaller. However, the King stalks towards him as it bears it's silver teeth, revealing hundereds of sharp, razor-like points. Slime slowly tricles down from it's mouth, down it's large claws and from it five metre long spiked tail. The ground shudders under it's emense weight and Clad trembles as the footfalls grow closer. Aiming at the King with both arm blades, he sends them flying through the air almost silently. The gagged blades slam into the Kings pipe-like neck and the owner gargles as acid blood fills it's mouth. Taking his oppertunity, Clad jumps to his feet, still clutching his bleeding shoulder, and dashes in the opposite direction.

His vision fills with a collosal - once majestic - pyramid, hundereds of metres high. 'Temple Of The Gods' it was once called, the final resting place of Grafons Kings. Inside it's ancient stone walls, they would lie until the end of time. That day seemed to be near. As the thoughts of Clads, father, grandfather and godfathers race through his mind, he suddenly remembers the weapon that lies nestled in the pyramids core. The ultamite weapon that would not only destory the enemies that happen to attack the planet, but also the planet itself. The most powerful nuclear device invented by The Ancients for use only when the city is about to fall completely. Grafon was dead and there is no way for it to revive itself. The entire Predator race is dead. As Clad suddenly regains attention from his thoughts, he can hear the distant screams of the last of his warriors, it's throat slit by a serpentine tail. Shooting his head around behind him, Clad witnesses the King detaching the last of the imbedded arm blades from it's neck. Blood spurts all over the surrounding area like acid rain as the blade is pulled out. The King instantly spots the escaping Elder and begins sprinting towards him, rage in it's heart.

Structures and sand flies by Clad dieing eyes as the runs his fastest towards the imposing pyramid. He still clutches his shoulder as the pain begins to completely numb his arm. Grains cut into his gaping mouth as he struggles to take decent breaths. He can hear the monstrosity behind him getting ever closer which each step. Clad detaches a small spear from his belt, slides it into his wrist gauntlet and fires it at the charging beast. The minute weapon glides invisibly through the air and smashes into the Kings right horn. The King doesn't react and continues to charge. Clad enters the massive shadow that the pyramid casts over his land and is suddenly hit with a refreshing breeze. For a moment he enjoys the soft wind blowing through his grey dreadlocks and through his scales. Suddenly the King gives off a gaining roar and the beautful moment is no more. As every second goes by, Clad grows ever closer to his goal as does the King, which is now almost in striking disatnce.


Three Kings

Clad jumps onto the first step on the long staircase to the pyramid top. Looking back, he see's the King launging at him with it's inner jaw. In a flash Clad swings a powerful mase at the horror and it slams into the side of the beasts head. The King staggers at the force and then grabs it the weapons chain. As the King tries to prize it out, Clad tries to keep it in and a struggle ensues. The King screetches as the mase's long spikes start to cut deeper into it's metalic skin, yet the mase seems unaffected by it's blood. Clad face cringes as he feels he is losing the struggle and the King begins to slowly yank the spikes out of head. Trying to keep the mase in his hands, Clad suddenly yanks it out himself, roars and continues up the long staircase. He takes giant leaps, missing two stairs with everystride. The King below tries to regain is balance after the blow, but it soon fixes once again on it's prey and goes after him yet again. Clads muscles tense as he holds the mighty mace in his right hand, making sure it's spikes don't hit of the ground. Making sure his preciuos doesn't get hurt.

The King struggles to gain on it's prey and has to resort to crawling up the stairs. Unlucky for Clad as this makes it faster. A wind grows ever stronger as the two aliens get higher in the sky. Clads heart is in his mouth as the top of the massive pyramid is almost in reach. Just a little further and he would end this forever. There is an epic rumble from the clouds and the sky above the pyramid turns purple. Clad continues to bolt up the case as he looks up at the commotion. The King looks up too and suddenly stops acsending the stairs. It watches the clouds as a light is seen conjesting in them. It turns it's head like horrific bird as the light suddenly zooms down onto the pyramid, straight into the path of the running Elder. Clad slams his eyes shut as the light appears in his path, causing him to trip and slam face first into the staircase. Still downed on the floor, Clad watches the strange light as a large humaniod figure appears in the purpleness. A cloak flutters in the strong wind, a sword shines and armour clackels. The Emperor Jockey stands looking down upon Clad, sword in hand, waiting to bring it down upon his old enemies head.


Survival Of The Fiercest

As the King watches the two humaniod monsters staring at each other, it suddenly throws itself at the two of them, clearing eight stairs in a single giant jump. The King flies towards them with horrendous rage and lands in front of Clad. The King Jockey swings it's sword at the Alien and the tenticles lining is mouth quiver in the wind. The King swipes at the Blade and readies to launch a batch of acid at the the annoyance. Clad, stuck between the two monsters, rolls over on his back and slides across his stair, just dodging one the the Kings clawed feet. King attacks King as the Jockey and Alien charge at each other. The King Alien launches it's inner jaw at the Jockey's angry face as the Jockey blocks it's attack with it's sword. Punching it with it's left wrist, the Jockey staggers the beast at the tremendoud force. The Alien slips down it's stairs and begins to fall. It scatches at the crumbling stairs with it's life as it tries to regain balance on the near verticale stairway. The Jockey hears pepples falling further up the pyramid and his eyes fill with rage as he catches sight of Clad continueing to ascend the collosal monument. Turning back to the falling King, he see's it grap a good hold of a stair and begin to rise to it's feet. The Jockey sprints after Clad grasping it's sword harder as he goes after his real enemy. Jumping the stairs even better than the wounded Elder he speeds towards him like a fraight train. The wind grows even stronger as it gets higher and higher, nearly knocking it off balance. Clad bleeding shoulder causes him to feel light headed as his arm is now completely numb. He drops his mase and it starts falling down. His eyes widen as his baby decends back down the pyramid.

The Jockey is almost on him, a few more steps at he would be at his goal. Clad roars at the sprinting Jockey and raises it's fist in readimemnt for a punch. Swinging it's sword high in the air, the Jockey mumbles at it readies to strike the Predator. Clad dodges the huge blade as it is sliced at his head, and launches his fist at the Jockey's head. The Jockey stumbles at Clad punches the creature again this time in the neck. The Jocky gargles and grabs it's neck. Clad bellows at hits the Jockey again in the head, causing it fall the ground. Smacking it with it's bladed sandals, purple blood spurts from the Jockeys head and it's mumbles again. Clad spots the King Alien heading in his direction, blood pouring from the left side of it's head. Clad grabs his mase lying at his feet and takes one last sprint for the top. The Jockey turns on his back and catches the King by the foot as it's walks over it. The King screetches as the Jockey pulls at it's leg with suprising force. The King starts to stumble again and raises it's tail at the annoyances head. The Jockey spots it just as it's bladed end shines in the moon light. Grabbing it's sword, the Jockey slices off the blade just as it is about to puncture him. The tail end files off to the right and a small spot of blood lands on the side Jockeys head. The acid burns into him causing the muscle in his face to become visable. The Jockey roars with pain and pushes the King down the the stairs. The Alien quickley grabs the Jockeys leg and pulls it down with him. The two roar at each other as they both start crashing down the ancient staircase. A hand latches onto a stair and the Jockey manages to release the Kings grip on his leg. The King Alien continues to crash downward, screetching madly trying to grab anything it can get it's claws on. The Jockey turns to the pyramid top as sees that Clad has reached it. Dropping his heavy mase, Clad sighs with relief as he stands atop the massive monument. It's flat surface is no more than two metres across and in the centre stands a small control panel that juts out from the edge. Without missing a beat, Clad rushes over to it and slams the keys with his bloody fingers. He staggers to one side as his head starts to feel heavy and shakes his head with awakment. After punshing in the last code, a countdown comenses. A loud bleeping from the ground beneath him. A light slowly begins to appear and rises higher and higher. Clad closes his eyes and takes a huge breath into the sky. The powerful wind attacks his dreadlocks and cloak, sending both flying all over the place. Clad had only been to the top of this summet once before; when his father was teaching him the code. Only the Elders would know of this code and only they would have access to the ancient home of their ancestors. Unauthorised Predators to enter would meet a painful, bloody death at the hands of Grafons ruling King.

Clads is suddenly deafened by an emense screaming the King launges at him inner jaw extended. Dodging the attack with suprises speed. Clad punches the bastard in the neck. Again and again. The King begins to claw at him, trying to rip him to shreds. It manages to score a hit and slices him in the stomach. Roaring, Clad plummets to the ground, grabbing the edge just as he is about to fall off. The light on the ground continues to grow even brighter and the bleeping gets sharper. The King suddenly turns it's horned head as the King Jockey jumps at him, sword swung high in the air. The Alien moans as it's left horn is completely severed and a river of blood floods forth from the wound. The Jockey jumps back avoiding the killer liquid and lands on the edge of a stair. The Alien swings around and tries to spear the monster with it's tail. The Jockey blocks the hits again and again with it's sword as it groans to itself. Clad pulls himself back up on the platform and grabs the mase lieing beneath him, scrapping the spikes off the architecture. With an almost silent whir, Clad swings the club and the Aliens right leg and the bones crack. The King squels into the dark sky and Clad smashes the mase into it's leg again. The King eventually collaspes, falling straight into the Jockey. Clad struggles to his weary feet, mase in hand and stands in the middle of the light. In an instant the coundown haults and Clad suddenly vanishes into the light.

PENNY

PENNY

#35
WONDERFUL!

War Wager

War Wager

#36
Destruction Stolen

Clad sprints through the pyramids pitch black corridors, only seeing faint blue outlines of the walls. The noise of his sandals echeo through the entire monument as his hands swing from side to side. His injured shoulder has now stopped bleeding although he can't feel his arm or the side of his body at all. Increadbly, Clad knows exactly where he is going turning corners faster than a lightning flash and jumping entire small staircases with giant leaps. As the Elder zooms past one corner, a slimey tail slithers out from behind. Passing another, an hands reaches down from the ceiling as a skelatal figure desceds from the blackness. As Clad continues on, he is suddenly enters a massive hall, it's walls adored with fire torches and baskets. In the centre on a large platform, lies a small box shaped object, positioned perfectly in the centre. Rushing over to the object, Clads eyes focus on Grafons ultamite destruction. Slowing down, the Predator starts to walk over to it, taking deep breaths as his breathing starts to return to normal. His legs are in extreme pain, they feel like they could just snap in an instant. Clad places his mace on the raised platform and moves his hands over the bomb. It is plain silver, with patches of ripped brown cloth scattered over it tied with a thin string-like material. Clad touches the sides and slides his hands along the edges. Closing his eyes and raising his head in the air, he removes the cloth. Looking down at the bomb again he sees many small buttons lining the centre.

The time has now come. The Alien manace and Grafon would be destroyed... forever. Clad begins to slowly tap in the bombs self destruct code. Red symbols appear in the buttons where Clad has tounched and they emit loud bleeps as they are pressed. Clad feels a cold, wet substance on his head and he slowly moves his hand to touch it. A huge PredAlien falls on him from above as Clad shoots his head upwards. The beast slams into him, digging it's claws into his shoulders as they both fall to the ground. A struggle ensues as the PredAlien bites at his face and Clad forces it back with his bare hands. With a burst of strenght, the PredAlien launges forward and it's inner jaw snaps into his shoulder wound. Clad roars with a pain no-one should ever feel and his blood splatters across his face and neck. The PredAlien goes to attack again, but is suddenly flying through the air as Clad boots it away with his bladed sandals.

The PredAlien quickly rises to it's feet as Clad arwardly does the same. Catching sight of the mase on the platform in front Clad charges right into the Alien causes in to crash into the platform. Clad grabs the metal weapon and swings in into the air as it's shadow casts a shadow on the floored PredAlien. With a quick swing of it's tail, the beast jabs in into Clad's leg and pushes him away with it's feet. Clad staggers and swings the mase in the air again. The PredAlien jumps into the air, dodging the metal spikes. They slam into the platform, just missing the bomb. The PredAlien lands on the platform and stands hissing at the Predator. Extremeley pissed off Clad bellows and throws his mase at the beast. The target leaps again and the mase flys past it. Landing behind Clad, he smacks his head with it's club-like tail and Clad is thrown metres away. The PredAlien catches sight of the bomb and quickly slithers over to it. It puts it's head down to investigate the unknown object, it's mandibles quiver with exitment. Seeing the glowing symbols, the Alien instictivley knows what the object is. Snatching it with deadly claws, the PredAlien sprints away from Clad with the small bomb. Clad roars with fury as he witnesses the bastard take of with Grafons only hope. Swaggering to his feet, the Elder limps after the escapee.


Death Of Two Kings

The Jockey blocks the King Aliens attack as the battle rages on atop The Temple Of The Gods. The King Alien grabs ahold of the Jockeys sword - which is now almost completely dissolved to nothing - and launches it down the pyramid. The Jockey dodges as the King swings it bladeless tail at it, spraying acid over the crumbling rock. Lightning clashes in the night sky and thunder rumbles over the dead city. The Kings inner jaw is grabbed by bloody hands as the Jockey pulls on it. Shuvving it's claws into it's stomach, the King rips into him like a meat grinder. Strange inners and purpleness are spatterd over the surrounding stairs and the Jockey gives an un holy scream. The Kings inner jaw suddenly snaps off as the Jockey detaches the weapon from it's owner, quickly throwing it over the edge. With one last burst of strenght, the Jockey jumps at Kings neck as it squirms with pain. Grabbing hold of it's neck it slams a hidden blade into the maze of pipes. The King screetches for the last time as the blade snaps through it's veins and artiries. Both creatures suddenly go rag-doll and start to topple down the pyramid, which is completely covered in purple blood and green inners.

The Death Of Grafon

Clad is blinded with moonlight as he exits the collosal pyramid warm, thick air engulfing him. The thief is not far ahead still grasping the bomb in it's evil hands. Clad can't feel his legs, yet he continues to plough forward. Sand flies into his eyes as he runs as fast as he can. In front of him, he can see the vast army of Xenomorphs growing ever larger. Hundereds of black bodies swarm over each other like rats as Clad comes into view. The city comes alive with screetching and the beasts dash toward the pyramid. Blood drips from Clads shaking mouth and his breaths get more desperate. The theif is getting closer to the hoard of monsters and is almost out of sight. Grounding to a hault, Clad feels his belt for something to use... anything. Grabbing a thick rope from out of nowhere, he spreads it out to get it's full lenght. It stretches not one metre across and Clad quickly looks around on the rubble below him. Catching sight of a small, sharp edged rock he grabs it with his shaking hands and begins to tie the rope around it. Fastening it to it's tightest, the Predator starts to swing it in a circle. The rock quickly gains speed as it is thrust around in the air. Focusing on the location of the running bomb, Clad releases his grip and the small rock is thrust in the thiefs direction. The rock is completely invisable as it flys throught the air with frightning speed. The escaping PredAlien suddenly falls flat on the ground as the rock slams into the back of it's neck, snapping it. The bomb flies off into the dead corspes of Aliens and disappears.

Clad dashes for the bombs landing place with his life as the Alien hoard charges at him. The noise of the hoard nearly deafens him as the skrieking and screetching becomes almost unbearible. Feeling his belt once more, Clad detaches a small plasma bomb and taps it's top. The thing starts bleeping incredably fast and it is thrust in the first waves path. The hoard almost seem to ignore it and the contine to charge at the last remaning Predator on Grafon. The last piece of fresh flesh. Clad jumps behind a boulder that catches his eye and hopes the blast doesn't spread too far. In an instant the little bomb explodes and blue light covers the group of beasts, silencing them forever. The light stops inches away from Clads boulder and quickly sumerges again. As expected the first wave of Aliens are now no more. Completely incinerated in the small blasts plasma. Peeking over the top of his sanctuary, Clad spots the main army of Aliens as they all turn to the blasts direction, rivers of saliva flowing from the deadly maws. Clad is completely defensless now. He has no weapons and hardly any strenght left... it is now or never. Leaping over the boulder, the dieing Predator arkwardly sprints over to the mass of Alien corpses and begins searching for the bomb. He lifts up bodies and tosses them aside as if they were nothing in pursute of his goal. Keris peers over from behind a boulder, not two meters away from where Clad hid. She watches the Elder frantically searching the sea of monsters as a hundered more charge at him in the distance. Looking at her leg in aggony she grabs it and ties to prize it forward. Crawling like a old crocodile, she glides over to the mass slaughter on her hands, her eyes set on a spear that lies not far away. Her chest feels incredably tight and the she can't help but clutch it every so often.

Clad begins to dizzy as blood continues to tricle down from his wounds. Staggering like a drunk he tries to focus on the ground beneath him for the small silver object. Pushing aside a domed head, he signs with relief as the bomb reflects off the moonlight. Without giving a second thought he throws his finger at the buttons and begins to finish the countdown. Keris grabs the seramonial spear with her weak hands and prepares for the Alien attack. If she lay still enough mabye they would just kill the other monster and completely ignore her, she thinks to herself. If she lay still enough... mabye. She crawls next to an Alien corspe and coughs at it's horrendous odour. She can still see Clad from over it's skeletal body and see's him kneeling, holding a small object in it's hands. Clad suddenly freezes as he loses the feeling in his entire body. He starts to feel cold and his heart begins to grow slower with every beat. He gives off a long groan and he falls to the floor, dropping the bomb. Only one more symbol is needed to complete the sequence and for Grafon to ultimately be saved. His weary eyes begin to close and his vision becomes blurry. Keris crawls over the fallen Predator with all the strenght she can muster, sliding over wet mechanical bodies and dry rubble. As she near the monster, she spots the silver object lying in front of it's dead hands, red lights radiating from it. Looking at the monster with caution, she reaches for the bomb and looks at the buttons than adore it. Clads eyes slowly open and Keris jumps back in fright. Clad begins to mumble some otherwordly tounge and Keris just stares back at him with confusion. She suddenly lets out a scream as her chest bulges forward. Tear fill her eyes as a spot of blood appears on her wet shirt. "Go..d...n...n...o..." she mutters.

Clad looks around him and he spots his damaged mask lying next to an gaping Alien mouth. Mustering all the strenght he can, he pulls his left arm from the ground and tries to point at the mask. Keris silences as the pain suddenly subsides. She looks over to where the monster is pointing and can see's the golden, smashed mask lying there. Looking back at Clad, she see's him continueing to point, as if wanting her to reach for it. Keris reaches her hand out for the mask as tears stream down her face. "I... ca...can't..." she whispers as her tears consume her. Looking back at the Predator again, she see's that he continues to point. Once again reaching for the mask she notices a strange symbol on the masks front, almost in the shape of lightning. Keris points at the symbol and looks back to the Predator. Clads eyes are closed and he lies there unmoving, as dead as they come. Keris peers back over to the bomb and notices that there is a shaded symbol on it, identical to the one on the mask. Fianlly realising what the creature was trying to tell her, she pushes the button without a second thought. The bomb emits a loud countdown and begins to vibrate at a horrendous speed. Keris peers over to the Alien hoard which is now almost on her, baying for her blood like a huge pack of Wolfs. Her chest launges forward once again and she lets out an even louder scream. Blood spurts forth from her shirt and she begins to spazm on the ground. Her eyes turn white and suddenly a fountain of red pours from her chest, revealing a newly born Queen Alien. It forces it's way out of it's incubator with it's spinly hands, wriggling like a worm. It suddenly turns it's attention to the bleeping bomb as it's coundown suddenly stops. The baby Queen screetches with rage.

BOOOOOOM!


Accident Waiting To Happen

A few hours later, an imposing ship is seen moving towards Grafon. It looks like some sort of human miliatry or research ship. From a massive window inside, a uniformed man gazes out into the infinite of stars and at the large planet that stands out majestically in front. A white coated scientist suddenly approches him and he explains in a soft yet sharp vioce. "The cloning tests have been successful Weyland San. We have managed to clone another thirty-six of the Xenomorphs" he proudly announces. The suited man slowly turns his head to his employee. "Excellent work." he whispers in a sinister vioce. "However we are not done yet" he continues. "There is a war coming... I can feel it."

PENNY

PENNY

#37
Its the best fan fic iv ever read!

Period!

Great.

Xeno-Wolf

Xeno-Wolf

#38
An interesting story...nice to see a conclusion.

BUT...it needs a lot of work.

Firstly, it needs the whole thing to be run through a spelling, grammar and punctuation check - as lack of these in places really lets the whole story down.

Beyond that, there are a large number of points I noted down that need either explaining to the reader, altering or removing altogether...if you're considering a re-write, i'll list them for you.

War Wager

War Wager

#39
Feel free.  ;)

Major Alan Schaefer

Major Alan Schaefer

#40
Pretty good, strange in many ways but good....needs work

War Wager

War Wager

#41
It does need work, which is why this will be my last fic. I'm just not good overall I must have the Anderson flu.  :P

Major Alan Schaefer

Major Alan Schaefer

#42
No, not saying that, it's not the story that's bad...it's the little things
The good definatly out weights the bad

War Wager

War Wager

#43
It's my describing that lets it down I think, plus I'm too fast paced. It seems fine when I'm typing it up, but when I actually start to read it...

Major Alan Schaefer

Major Alan Schaefer

#44
I have that problem too, it's easy to slow down when you know you need to and just think, describe some more...go back if you have to to fix it

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