First fan story AVP UL

Started by Plokoon111, Aug 10, 2007, 03:41:07 AM

First fan story AVP UL (Read 2,953 times)



Heres my try at a storyt, or scenerio on how aliens could come to earth.


256 BC

   Humanoids are on a ship, they are talking in some sort of
    noises. One humanoid looks to be the oldest with a broken
    mandibite. All the others pay attention to him.

Elder: CtWe see preyztch. Allz you hunters arerie welcoome for
the grannden hunt of Hardt meat.

Stealth: How iz it posssible?

Elder: Out off manyi yearz, itz possible.

Stealth draws out his extended wrist blades.

Target: Well whats the plans?

Elder: Wetz sentzhchc soft meat containmentz shipz ctctc to 3

Stealth: Oh, yezz. . .

Target: When does it start?

  Elder looks excited yet mad.

Elder: Itz ctchc. . .

  He seems to have problems breathing.

Elder: Now. We wait about manyz yearz befur we hunt.

     He activates a machine with werid symbols. Its very loud, and it counts down,
   simular to a hand held self destruct wrist computer. It takes about 5 hours
   before its down. 3 Large containment ships, one looking like the space jockey.
   They go seperate ways into space. It travels the speed of light, one into 
   LV-426, Mars, Earth. The big Predator grins as he watches through his tele-smart

Elder: Itz Start now. Mu haha.

   He starts to laugh, with his old mandibites clinging in the air.

                  FADE OUT -

It is 2021, the third space shuttle known as Apollo 101 lands on Mars. The
World is cheering as this acomplishment has been made. A beautiful young
girl around 17 walks in.

Jake: So this is it huh?

Beth: Yes pretty isn't it?

Tocoba: Well we have done what no other humans ever did.

Beth: What?

Tocoba: surviving Mars impact.

Jake: Haha, I guess.


The president of Nasa, Goerge D. Foxanne is proudly watching through snowy LED TV
He seems to be happy yet stern.

Goerge D: Mission accomplished.

NASA Worker: Well we did it!

  ZOOM BACK TO . . .

Jake: Alright guys you ready?

Beth: Im sick.

Tocaba: No time to be sick on such a glorious mission like this!

Beth: What if Mars amthousphere is to low, causing pressure on us. .

  Before Beth continues. Jake holds her back. He seems mad,
  he starts shaking her.

JaKe: Pull your self togather, no aborting now.

Beth: Fine lets just collect dirt samples.

VIA RADIO: This is NASA president. Resume mission.

Tocaba: Shit, guys lets get out there.

  The triple door opens up, unleasing Mar's beauty. They walk out onto
  the surface.

Jake: Oh lord! THis is amazing!

Beth: Okay guys lets do this quickly and return back.

Jake: No hurry.

  Its been 6 hours, of exploration. There ship seems to be in a middle of valleys
  and mountains. It starts to get dark.

Tocaba: Well guys lets call it a night.

Jake: Wait a minute, whats this!!

  Jake is all alone in this canyon area, there seams to be an odd look elephant
  trunk like structure sticking out of the canyon.

Tocaba: Im giving you another hour, you dont come back, were be out there.

Jake: Alright, alright! Ive found something.

  Tocaba doesn't hear him. He shuts of the radio comp tech. Meanwhile he climbs to
  the top of the trunk like structure. He finally gets inside. The walls are alien
  like. Beautiful carvings of odd shapes. Most of the paths are locked. Like some
  kind of trap. One is barely open, Jake opens it with his strength. Sweat is falling
  off of his face, from the humid heat inside. As he walks in a ringing noise is heard.

  Back to the predator ship, a loud noise is heard, it beaps loud. Large doors open up.
  Masks are seen on an orange like wall. The humanoids come out roaring.

New blood: GARH! Whatz is it!

Stealth: ctchcttchct. Wake up our clan, and our elder.

  Many humanoids pour out of the hallways. All of them are roaring. Meanwhile Stealth,
  seems to have aged a bit, he picks up a familiar mask. Target does the same, his
  mask has horns, and tusks. New blood a young humanoid looks to as he recently joined
  the clan. They all start grabbing weapon. One of them is a shrucken, smart disk,
  a trident like spear, laser cannons, Tunk bombs, and all other gagets.

Fire-pred: Elder, its timez.

  The elder is older, and very weak, yet he can still fight wit honor.

Elder: Auhh, ctchct, control shipz to blood planet.

                              BACK TO  . . .

   Jake is busy heading through the unexplored back part of the ship.

Jake: Data log #4, no signs of life. Looks like a ghost ship.

   He walks into a chamber full of pod shaped objects, varying diffrent
   sizes, and colors. There are vine like resin rods under them. As he
   walks next to a couple, 3 open up like blooming flowers. . .
   Back to the NASA ship . . . Its been 2 hours later.

Tocaba: Come on Jake do you read!

Beth: Man he must of dropped his transmitter.

Tocaba: Stay here! Im going to search!

beth: Shouldn't i come?

Tocaba: You need to stay here to hear what NASA says.

  Pods are shot out of a cannon like weapon on a huge clan ship. Inside A humanoid
  with a mask starts typing onto buttons with symbols. A target
  computer scans Mars, it seems to switch onto heat vison. Its finds a dot of red.
  The pods re direct towards the area. The humanoid roars in glory. Half in hour later.

Tocaba VIA RADIO: Space ship! Listen beth hes dead, whats this? Wait!

Beth: Don't touch anything!

Tocaba VIA RADIO: Something must of punched into his stomach. Wait impossible! The
                   ribs are bent outward. Wait whats that? AH!

  A muffled noise is heard, and a bunch of loud screeches are heard through the radio.

Beth: Tocaba! Hey! Reply back! Damn!

  She starts to panic, she baracades the door, and hides in a corner. Something
  is heading towards the NASA shuttle. It sound like a lot of things are coming.
   Again we see the pods crash near the space shuttle, creating a small crater.
  We see a vison watching the things coming from far away in a zooming function,
  and breathing. We finally see the humanoids they roar, and start talking.

Stealth: Ctcsh! Chtchc! Mononow!

(TRANSLATED: We must go hunt!)

  Beth starts to scream in terror, as she sees something in the computer, a spider
  thing, with long pointy fingers, webbed fingers to be excact. Its black, and brown.
  The thing has a huge tube sized tail with a pointy tail. The mouth has a long slimy
  tube as long as its tail. It has little hands coming at the front of it. It seemed to
  want Beth. Glass breaks!

Beth: Go away!

  The spiders were in looks as it. They look like they are communicating. As soon as
  one of the yellow spiders climbed through the crack of the door. Something invisable
  Jumps out and roars, and slices it in half with a trident spear. The spiders acid
  seemed to disform its cloaking. It was the humanoid. Three others appear. The 8 other
  are pounceing toward there faces. But there accuracy was there talent. They sliced
  and dized all of them. The last one got in the ship.

Target: Ctasztztzt!

(TRANSLATED: The last one!)

Beth: Oh no! Oh no!

  The spider was coming closer.

Beth: NASA! Do you cophmppp. . .

  Before she could finish her sentence the thing was grabbing her face,
  she was struggling! The humanoids bust down the door with a laser beam.

BEth: Hmph! ERM!

  She couldnt take it off, the tail choked her. Crazy screechs are heard.

Elder voice change: No struggle.

                               FADE OUT. . . .

THE date is 2100 EARTH California LA. Two men stand on top of the Library Tower.

Wilbur: So where are we meeting?

Thomas: Redton Nevada.

Wilbur: Okay, ill make sure I send the via com.

  A werid hybrid jeep moves along to redton NV.

Sgt. Tango: So whats going on?

Pvt. Smith: Its confident. We don't know yet.

Radio: Guys head to base 54, a special man whats to meet you.

   MEANWHILE: Night looms in, a quiet neiborhood in the outskirts of
   Las Vegas. A mother is reading to his 6 year old.

Terri: And they all lived happily ever after.

Tim: goodnight mom.

Terri: Goodnight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

Tim: They won't ill zap them with my lazer gun!

   She walks outside to check on something, she locks the door. next door, an
   ex marine is making out with his girlfriend.

Josh: I'm done Sara, im tired.

   comlink V Phone rings. He grabs it, a tv pops out.

Thomas: Hello! Wake up! Your returned to your duties marine.

Josh: What the f**k?

Thomas: report to Redton NV tommorow.

   The morning sets in, a geeky guy named brady gets the mail outside. Some hot girls
   walk along the street.

Brady: Such a nice day.

Meris: Haha.

Tammy: Don't you know him?

Meris: When did i ever know him!?

Tammy: Haha! Your so right girl.

   The bus comes, some kids are going to school.

Brady; Where to sit.

Justin: Not here you idiot.

Brady: Oh great whats this!?!

   Hes being made fun of, he has gum in his hair. He sits quietly next to the trash bin.

Bus driver: Hows it going B.

Brady: Normal as always.

Bus driver: Hmm, they still picking on you?

Brady: Yes, you know! God of hell, yikes!

Bus driver: Don't let it get to you.

   The girls are chewing gum, and listening to Tv's.

Meris: Go away you jerk off.

Justin: ha, you know me.

Tammy: Eww, go f**k you self.

Meris: Yo did you get your grade data check?

Tammy: Nope.

Meris: Damn! Shoeby, yo I gotta ask you something. .

   The bus stops they head into the halls, there are esculaters, and TV panels.

Brady: Hey Knight whats up.

Knight 1: Doing fine, did you study yettt.

   The school is filled with sythenthetics, later in the years.

Knight 1: Late you! You to Tammy, go into detention cells.

Tammy: Let it slip god damn it.

Knight 1: Nope!

  Knight whispers something into her ear.

Knight 1: between you and me these computers can track anything. So no, I could be
          reprogramed to a model F.

Tammy: Fine.

  Class begins, Knight shuts the metal lock door.

Knight 1: Now lets talk about space shuttles.

                      FADE IN:

Time: 1030 AM Base sector 6

A guy in a suit, and a old man walk onto a stage.

Wilbur: You have been all here for a reason, turn your attention to senior president of Nasa!
   Goerge is now older in his 80's. He is pretty sick, but has a good memory.

Goerge: Well were here? Why? Specimen evidence is why! A long time ago, we sent Apollo
        101 out to space, it never returned. Well this may seem unusuall, but we have found
        a ship buryed in the Mohoby Desert. It is linked to the apollo team's findings.

  The pictures show up the space crapth from the pictures from Jake.

Goerge: Well we towed it here, and it seems like we triggered an defense system. Some
        eggs were onboard. And hen we last went in they were all opened, nothing. It
        seems like they have escaped a day ago, were still towing it as we speak. Now
        what do you know Wilbur?

Wilbur: Radars have detected where they have went, near las Vegas. In this suitcase
        we have data about the eggs. They are fast, strong, and there heat is 1000
        degrees. That will burn through metal. So were in yellow alert.

Josh: So what do you want us marines to do now? Clean up your mess?

Pvt. Tim: Yeah man!

    A lot of marines start bad mouthing the agents.

Thomas: Now, now guys. Its not that! We will triple your salary rates!

Wilbur: Guys!

Josh: I don't think my girlfriend wants me to die.

Wilbur: Hey ex marine, I can garentee you lifes worth of treasures.

Josh: Now your talking.

Goerge: All were asking is for your training to help us capture these things.

Sgt. Tango: Dead, is what I want sir.

Wilbur: Think about it sargent.

Sgt. Tango: Okay dismiss marines, were out of this joint.

  They leave  the base, and head out onto the jeeps, back to the neiborhood.

Brady: What a day. I aced it horay!

Terri: Hey Brady!

Brady: Hello what yo up to?

Terri: playing with Timmy.

Brady: Sounds like fun!

  He leaves into her house, out in the desert wolfs, and snakes, and other animals roam
  the area, the drought is so bad, there looking for water. Night comes and alot of
  animal noises are heard. We see a glimpse of a spider creature. Two cows have them on
  there faces at a farm. The roosters go crazy. Wolfs start going crazy. Bursting noises
  are heard.

Farmer: Whats going on!? Lexy, what is it boy?

  The dog has a spider on its face, the dog yelps.

Farmer: Oh f**k! What in blazes!

  He turns around, and bam! Time quickly passes, a week later to be exact.



PArt 2

  He leaves into her house, out in the desert wolfs, and snakes, and other animals roam
  the area, the drought is so bad, there looking for water. Night comes and alot of
  animal noises are heard. We see a glimpse of a spider creature. Two cows have them on
  there faces at a farm. The roosters go crazy. Wolfs start going crazy. Bursting noises
  are heard.
    The cows were running away in astonishment, most of them broke through the pen and
  yet, the unknown intruders were killing the cows. The one spider like creature was actually
  like it was planning on it. The foor opens, a farmer walks out with his shotgun, he hears
  all of the racket going on, but is unable to see what is going on. 

Farmer: Whats going on!? Lexy, what is it boy?

  The dog has a spider on its face, the dog yelps.

Farmer: Oh f**k! What in blazes!

  The farmer took the dog inside, he started to hammer the doors with lumper wood, he to is
scared, and unknown of what will happen. The dog was passed out with the thing on it. The
farmer got plyers and couldn't seem to take it off of the hugging spider.

Farmer: What the f**k, it won't come off.

  As he finally leaves to the kitchen, but when he comes
back. The thing is off of the dog. He is surprised, and shoots
the thing into pieces. He then calls the county sherif about
whats going on. A hissing noise can be heard in the background,
and the door creaks open. The farmer looks to see it is the
wind, he ignores it. Morning has finally set in.


  Space capsules turn off, steam rises slowly to the floor. A familar beep is heard,
the humanoids wake up, and roar in anger, a warning like alarm turns on. weapons are
taken, as well as trident spears, aon bombs, disks, daggers, net gun, wrist and leg
blades, spear gun, wrist shooter, laser cannons, and throwing stars.
   Target walks out, his suit is well armored, with laser cannons, hand held bombs,
on his helmet, he has two functional laser targeting devices, and duck billed mouth
piece. He seems to be a pilot as well. He is also adapted to talking clearly.
   Stealth uncloaks, as he grabs three spears, daggers, wrist blades, net gun, he is
the scout.
   Fire-pred comes in he grabs a lazer cannon, extended blades, and a dagger. He is
known as the finishers.
   New blood comes next, he has regualr wrist blades, no armor, nothing, his mission
seems to be a trial to become a warrior. His name isn't known since he has no hunting
   Elder is the last, he leads the group, has long dreads, in pony tails. He has the
biggest spear, and has a lot of disks, and throwing stars. He is the oldest and wisest
among his clan.
   They are talking about the warning about hardbloods, they knew it would happen, but
not this early.

Target: Well the ancients predicted this. The order of the preds will think we are a

Elder: Thizz izizi a trouble timees. We hunt, and clean up.

fire-pred: Welz itz iz ichchichc. Readyz shipctchctch. *roar*

Stealth: Well we will have somez chctch fun as well.

Elder: Ictchc, neww blood. Ifz you gain your trophy icict, you have acpeted
       warrior statuss.

new blood: Yes teacherz.

    The pods launch directly to Redton Nevada. It seems to happen fast and impact
  is large. Mean while its the next day.

Terri: hey clark, wow. This is crazy, ufo sightings?

  She is surprised at how high the missing rate is in a one two day span.
She watchs the news, that comes on in intrest.

News anchor: In other news we have 15 missing reports, around redton, John D. A farmer
             was recently found, along with lots of cattle, with violet, voodoo style
             death. Its not sure how, but who would ever do this to such a hard working
             farmer. Another two teens were out driving and haven't returned. There car
             was found, with there bodys dismantled the same way. Back to Carly.

Clark: What the hell? We got a cereal killer on the loose.

Terri: I don't know, it just doesn't make any sense.

Clark: Nothing has to make sense around a dirt poor town like Redton.

Tim: Hey momy! Look at what I found in the garbage.

Terri: Wash your hands! Dont touch it!

    The kid held a spider like crab with a tail. It was black, and werid.

Terri: What took you so long anyway?

Tim: Hm, I don't remember.

Terri: Well me and your daddy are going out to a business meeting. Your going over
       Meris's house.

   Meanwhile at the miliatary base near the police station. The police are getting ready
to react to another cop's death.

Rodger: hey Tom, where at?

Tom: The playground.

Rodger: Were be there.

Sheriff Johnsen: Well we got to evac the whole town, Nasa said something about an
speciemen loose.

Rodger: on it.

   FADE OUT: Meris's house.

Meris: So want to watch movies?

Brady: Hey, I just stopped by.

Meris: What do you want?

Brady: Well, I was wondering.

Meris: Wondering how I will reject you?

Brady: Fine, I was just going to tell you that the police are coming here.

Meris: What! Come in!

Brady: Jeez!

  SKIP TO: Cop chase.

A vison watches the cop cars go by, speeding.

:unknown: Chtchthcht. . .

A large crackaling boom emerges onto one of the cars.

Rodger: Pull over! What the hell!

Sherriff: Tom!

Gvoni: Sir, whats that?

  all of a suddan he gets shot, a hole is in his stomach, the other six cops
try to shoot it. Finally they retreat.

Tom: Its not real, ghost!

Rodger; I don't! Ah!

  The thing cloaks and it appears a large blade is through him. He is surprised. The
predator Target grabs his disk, and skins him.

Rodger: Ahh! Ahh. . .

Sherrif: Rodger, Mike cover the playground!

  The sherrif and Reese give blows to Target, and New blood. Reese, falls down, next
to the tree, while hes on the ground, something on the tree watches him, it changes
his vison to blue.

Elder: achadhah! ctahctc! No! Sherrif, trophyys!

Reese crawls away, he screams, Stealth falls down, he wrist blades his arm off. While that
happens, target gets shot, and drops his disk. Sherrif grabs it, and injurs target.
Stealth switches to his spear gun. He targets 2 of the policemen. He directly hits there
heads, there heads nail onto a brick apartment home. He roars!
Sherrif is about to finish target. Something behind him, a spear appears. Its elder,
He slices the sherrif in half. He proudly takes the time and takes his scull. A large
ear pearcing roar is heard.
  Target heals himself, he breaks the concrete floor, and mizes it in a dish, and
stabs himself, a even larger pain roar is heard.
Stealth: Welthc. chthchc. Hard'a bloodacy.

Elder: cthc, newbloodac,c.

Mike (far away) Sir children are dead, sir?

Henry: Hes not answering!

Mike: What were they anyway?

Henry; Ah! Dude!

  The predators aren't to happy, target gets his disk and his throwing stars ready.

Henry: Watch out!

  The throwing star jabs Mike in the hand, he kneels down in pain. He runs to the
slide. While Henry turns around he sees the disk, his head lands next to Mike.

Mike: ahh! Ahh! Henry! Oh my god!

  He walks back, as the preds come closer. He turns around, a black, slimy serpet like
humanoid, its head is long. Its second pair of teeth comes out in glory. It hisses.

Mike: Oh my! Ahhh. . . (slicing, and a whipping noise is heard)

SKIP TO: Meris's house.

Meris: So wheres the cops Brady?

Brady: They should be here.

Timmy: I have a stomach ache.

Meris: Aww, its going to be okay, wait, I have medicine.

Brady: Wait a minute.

  The kid screams in pain, he rolls around, werid noises are heard.

Brady: hurry!

  Meris is at the kitchen and a crash! A serpet thing breaks in through the window!
The thing got her in its tail, taking her away. She grabs the knifes and stabs it
the head. The knife melts, her hand is burnt. She screams! brady comes out with a
mop. He trips and falls on the thing, he grabs the ironer and burns the thing
alive, the creature is trying to headbite her. She screams louder! Brady, finally
kills it. Brady is relieved, but the floor burns, leaving a hole in her room.

Meris: Man my parents! There going to freak!

Brady: Woh, woh, no way! That thing! It could of killed you, aren't you forgeting
      your in danger.

Meris: Well maybe if you wern't here!

Brady: You would of been raped, for god only knows. 

Meris: f**k you! Get out of here!

  Timmy is screaming in pain still, they forgot about him. They rush back into the
dining room. His chest is bloody, Timmy starts to remember.

Timmy: Oh my god! Erg! Ah! I remember the thing was on my face!!

Brady: raped?

Timmy: Ah! God! Help me! I want my mommy!

  Timmy's stomach explodes, a serpet comes out roaring!

Brady: Oh my god!

  The serpet runs away out in the hole that was in the kitchen.

Meris: Oh no! What! Oh no!

  She has a breakdown, she crys. Brady comfurts her. But then a werid alien comes
watching, it has horns on its head, werid tenticals, two tails, and a bulkier
body. It hisses.




I couldn't get much past the first few scenes.

Stick to your films, pal.



Im still going to continue this, grammer and spelling is a problem, and im just writing this for fun.



Grammar and spelling are the of the problems.

The whole thing with the Predators talking was nonsensical, then we have a 17 year old girl as an astronaut exchanging appalling dialogue with people with no background or personality.  I couldn't go on after that.

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