I didn't follow all of that, but what I did follow, I liked. That would be pretty rad indeed.
Like maybe even make it a cyberpunk sort of "Expendables" with Schaefer getting a rag tag crew together to take on the corrupted pencil-pushers of their very own corporation-pocketed governments. Old Mother Earth is getting hotter and less motherly everyday, and it looks like some ugly mother-f*ckers just pulled back into town.
The authorities aren't stepping up or they're looking the other way. Maybe they've got some kind of sick backroom deal with the up-rezzed looking godless crab-heads; happily selling out the people they were sworn to protect, all so they can save their own bikini-waxed assholes and probably make some kind of tidy profit in the deal. Schaef needs a team who knows how to handle these kinds of tourists, so he calls in a few old friends to join the party. It takes some doing but he gathers up Garber and Keyes, Isabelle and Harrigan, and (Hank Azaria as) Fernando, a strange little chickenhead Harrigan picked up in Rio de Janeiro with a flair for the dramatic and an obsession for classic cinema and shiny kimonos.
They even pick up a couple more along the way. Danny Trejo as 'Chete, Cuchillo's avenging brother.
"F*ck you, pendejo! You think all Mexicans look alike?", "I'm way prettier than mi hermano ever was.", "I'm a f*cking Mexi-can, not a Mexi-can't." And finally Brigitte Nielsen, as the well-seasoned warrior Nadia Ligachev, formerly a Red, currently contracting out to anyone paying good money to kill anything bleeding green. But she's got enough scores to settle of her own that she's always happy taking
this kinda work pro bono. Like
2010: Space Odyssey Two it's a near future where the Iron Curtain never dropped, and Crazy Ivan's still got a stake in the game. So grab your coats, and protect your scrotes, comrades! It's time to
Party.
Hell, they should let the Sam Raimi take a crack at it.
Predator voice mimicry:
<"You said you loved me, Schaef!">Schaefer:
"Baby, You got a Lot uglier."