Why does everybody hate AVP: Requiem so much?

Started by Aliens1986fanboy, Oct 06, 2018, 11:33:27 AM

Author
Why does everybody hate AVP: Requiem so much? (Read 29,908 times)

TheSailingRabbit


Local Trouble

Quote from: SM on Feb 06, 2019, 01:17:48 AM
Quote from: Local Trouble on Feb 06, 2019, 12:50:11 AM
Quote from: SM on Feb 05, 2019, 11:52:37 PM
Oh, right.

I stand by my initial assessment.

What was SM's initial reaction to that scene?

Dismay.

I imagine your dismay face is similar to Fox Mulder's panic face.

SM

Not far off.

Voodoo Magic

You can't spell dismay without sm.

Oasis Nadrama

I once wrote a LONG text explaining clearly enough how much Requiem is pure shit, alas it's in French.

May translate it someday, in the meantime you can throw it through an automatic translator or whatever.

Voodoo Magic

Vive la résistance!

Local Trouble

Quote from: Oasis Nadrama on Feb 06, 2019, 04:45:55 PM
I once wrote a LONG text explaining clearly enough how much Requiem is pure shit, alas it's in French.

Fantastic language. Especially to curse with.

Kradan

I actually don't hate it. If it was just bad movie i would. Maybe it's weird opinion but i think it's cool to have such trashy movie in franchise. And i CAN watch it from beginning to ending credits. Where is my award?  :)

Local Trouble

How do you feel about egg-barfing?

Kradan

Kradan

#159
Quote from: Local Trouble on Feb 06, 2019, 10:44:23 PM
How do you feel about egg-barfing?

I'm OK with it. For me it's as gruesome as standart facehugging and chestbursting if not even more. And i think that killing pregnant in such horrible way is truly in Alien nature

Voodoo Magic

I like my egg-barfing with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Oasis Nadrama

Oasis Nadrama

#161
The egg-barfing is one of the only relatively good ideas of the movie for me, even if it goes a little too much towards torture porn and once again we're stuck with a misogynistic focus on female victims of forced alien insemination.



Edit: Translated my old text! Does it read well?  :)

-------------------------------

Back when it appeared in theater, this film forged itself a good reputation by some magic, marketing magic even... A new approach to sell us meat-and-bone meal once more. The idea was that Requiem was an honest, dark, ultraviolent actioner.
This image is demonstrably false.

Requiem is not an action movie.
Well, if it is, I don't want to watch an action movie ever again. In a similar fashion to 300, the fights let go of any momentum, grasp of space, inventivity, decor use or choregraphy and can be adequately summed up as exchanges of shots and punches, always direct. There is no concept of dodging, there is no concept of physical or mental state of the fighter. The action scenes are blunt and flat, badly shot and most of the time presented in darkness, so frankly the audience will be lucky to understand ANYTHING AT ALL. To put the final nail in the coffin of the "fights", the Strause Bros made them way longer than anyone could stand.

Requiem is not a horror movie.
There is no notion of suspense, replaced with the vilest sadism and irony. Human beings are just there to get killed, and when you see on in a three-seconds scene, it's only so you can see them screwed in a second three-seconds scene (textbook example, the unlucky barmaid). The epitome of this slaughterhouse syndrome is the group lead by the policeman, which ends up annihilated with the entire town because of a single bad choice, the choice to trust the government. Their disappearance does not seem to shake the surviving characters, for they appear to have become as cynical as the Strause Bros.

Requiem is not a violent movie.
With such a ruthless approach, one could hope at least for some good old gore and guts. No such luck! Most of the time, the massacre happens off-screen, or in complete darkness. The fate of most of the population is symptomatic: one doesn't know what destiny befalls them. From the colonel's screen, one can guess they died, but we would have liked to SEE. There was a royal highway to some Hieronimus Bosch shit with the pitch of an entire town invaded by Aliens! And the absence of dantesque visual really deserves the movie in the end, it lacks scale, it lacks ambition.

Requiem is not a movie with actual characters
The protagonists are all stereotypes, without past, without hobbies, without personality. Completely interchangeable, they occasionally work straight out-of-character (the soldier unable to defend herself...) or abandon their childhood friends to a nightmarish death without any hesitation.

Even humour doesn't work correctly
The comical side could have helped to digest the cinematic disaster, alas it doesn't go beyond a few badly paid pot smokers and a couple lines supposed to make us laugh, such as "The government wouldn't lie to us". Disgusting.

It's an absurd patchwork of previous movies
Surfing on the "geek wave" (this trend being already dubious and terminologically unsuitable but whatever) with a lot less talent than Raimi or Jackson, the Strause Bros present themselves as ultimate fanboys of the series, well-read in the Alien classics and eager to demonstrate.
It's quite embarrassing, like some drunken bully we once knew in high school, suddenly appearing during our marriage to nudge, to wink and to do dirty jokes: we don't know each other, we are not friends, f**k man, go home.
The Strause Bros confuse homage and plagiarism to offer us this gigantic pile of references (more like reverence, or even deference!) as the main architecture of their crime against good taste. So it's nothing except a bad quality medley of the six previous Alien and Predator movies, while the only thing they'll keep of the previous AVP (which they are supposedly doing a sequel to!) is the ultra-fast incubation of the xenomorph embryos, microwave style. The soundtrack is the living image of this mediocre patchwork: a grey soup with some accords of the previous BOs, devoid of personality.

Touting the product
So okay, the directors demonstrated AVPR is (supposedly) a true "Alien + Predator" product, now it's time to sell it. Their predecessor has earned AVP a deplorable reputation, so what could the Strause Brothers do? Well, they'll spend their time in full Anderson-bashing mode in every interview, of course! Come on, Anderson is the guy who committed Mortal Kombat, and even worse, the Resident Evil movie trilogy, it's easy to make fun of him. So yeah, let's blast the goddamn embezzler, with any luck people will confuse the obloquy with actual legitimacy for our Masterpiece.
In the same spirit, the movie shall be "harsh", "merciless" and "politically incorrect", which basicall means it's going to be a senseless bloodbath of children and pregnant women. Let's get dark and edgy, baby!

Voodoo Magic

Quote from: Oasis Nadrama on Feb 06, 2019, 04:45:55 PM
I once wrote a LONG text explaining clearly enough how much Requiem is pure shit, alas it's in French.

May translate it someday, in the meantime you can throw it through an automatic translator or whatever.

When I translated it:

"AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream.

AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream.

AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream. AVP: Requiem was a fantastic movie. I like it better than ice cream."

SiL

"It's not an action film, it's not a horror film, it's an absurd montage of pieces of other movies"  sums it up pretty accurately :D

SM

Quote from: Oasis Nadrama on Feb 07, 2019, 09:34:13 AM
The egg-barfing is one of the only relatively good ideas of the movie for me, even if it goes a little too much towards torture porn and once again we're stuck with a misogynistic focus on female victims of forced alien insemination.



Edit: Translated my old text! Does it read well?  :)

-------------------------------

Back when it appeared in theater, this film forged itself a good reputation by some magic, marketing magic even... A new approach to sell us meat-and-bone meal once more. The idea was that Requiem was an honest, dark, ultraviolent actioner.
This image is demonstrably false.

Requiem is not an action movie.
Well, if it is, I don't want to watch an action movie ever again. In a similar fashion to 300, the fights let go of any momentum, grasp of space, inventivity, decor use or choregraphy and can be adequately summed up as exchanges of shots and punches, always direct. There is no concept of dodging, there is no concept of physical or mental state of the fighter. The action scenes are blunt and flat, badly shot and most of the time presented in darkness, so frankly the audience will be lucky to understand ANYTHING AT ALL. To put the final nail in the coffin of the "fights", the Strause Bros made them way longer than anyone could stand.

Requiem is not a horror movie.
There is no notion of suspense, replaced with the vilest sadism and irony. Human beings are just there to get killed, and when you see on in a three-seconds scene, it's only so you can see them screwed in a second three-seconds scene (textbook example, the unlucky barmaid). The epitome of this slaughterhouse syndrome is the group lead by the policeman, which ends up annihilated with the entire town because of a single bad choice, the choice to trust the government. Their disappearance does not seem to shake the surviving characters, for they appear to have become as cynical as the Strause Bros.

Requiem is not a violent movie.
With such a ruthless approach, one could hope at least for some good old gore and guts. No such luck! Most of the time, the massacre happens off-screen, or in complete darkness. The fate of most of the population is symptomatic: one doesn't know what destiny befalls them. From the colonel's screen, one can guess they died, but we would have liked to SEE. There was a royal highway to some Hieronimus Bosch shit with the pitch of an entire town invaded by Aliens! And the absence of dantesque visual really deserves the movie in the end, it lacks scale, it lacks ambition.

Requiem is not a movie with actual characters
The protagonists are all stereotypes, without past, without hobbies, without personality. Completely interchangeable, they occasionally work straight out-of-character (the soldier unable to defend herself...) or abandon their childhood friends to a nightmarish death without any hesitation.

Even humour doesn't work correctly
The comical side could have helped to digest the cinematic disaster, alas it doesn't go beyond a few badly paid pot smokers and a couple lines supposed to make us laugh, such as "The government wouldn't lie to us". Disgusting.

It's an absurd patchwork of previous movies
Surfing on the "geek wave" (this trend being already dubious and terminologically unsuitable but whatever) with a lot less talent than Raimi or Jackson, the Strause Bros present themselves as ultimate fanboys of the series, well-read in the Alien classics and eager to demonstrate.
It's quite embarrassing, like some drunken bully we once knew in high school, suddenly appearing during our marriage to nudge, to wink and to do dirty jokes: we don't know each other, we are not friends, f**k man, go home.
The Strause Bros confuse homage and plagiarism to offer us this gigantic pile of references (more like reverence, or even deference!) as the main architecture of their crime against good taste. So it's nothing except a bad quality medley of the six previous Alien and Predator movies, while the only thing they'll keep of the previous AVP (which they are supposedly doing a sequel to!) is the ultra-fast incubation of the xenomorph embryos, microwave style. The soundtrack is the living image of this mediocre patchwork: a grey soup with some accords of the previous BOs, devoid of personality.

Touting the product
So okay, the directors demonstrated AVPR is (supposedly) a true "Alien + Predator" product, now it's time to sell it. Their predecessor has earned AVP a deplorable reputation, so what could the Strause Brothers do? Well, they'll spend their time in full Anderson-bashing mode in every interview, of course! Come on, Anderson is the guy who committed Mortal Kombat, and even worse, the Resident Evil movie trilogy, it's easy to make fun of him. So yeah, let's blast the goddamn embezzler, with any luck people will confuse the obloquy with actual legitimacy for our Masterpiece.
In the same spirit, the movie shall be "harsh", "merciless" and "politically incorrect", which basicall means it's going to be a senseless bloodbath of children and pregnant women. Let's get dark and edgy, baby!

Pretty much.

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