A Rant

[Hudson]

John Davis should never be allowed to produce another film. Aliens vs. Predator Requiem is a horrendously bad movie. I can't believe how much incompetence there is on display here regarding so many important aspects of production and post-production. The editing is atrocious. The film is shot terribly. It looked terrible on DVD but even on the Blu-Ray which I just watched there's not much of a significant improvement. I'm also not convinced that anyone working on this movie had any idea how any aspect of a narrative is supposed to function. I doubt they have any idea what Freytag's Triangle is. I even started writing things down while I watched it. Some points of note:
- I found the portrayal of the small town very Hollywood. It involved a sheriff, a diner, a school, a bully, hunting, etc. All they were missing was some kind of preacher. It seemed like all of the things that also appear in Gremlins or whatever other small town film produced by Hollywood, with a limited understanding of small-town America beyond these basic, cliche examples that have appeared elsewhere on so many occasions.
- Why was the sheriff the authority figure dealing with everything happening in the community? Correct me I'm wrong, but every time someone tells the sheriff dude that he's in over his head he should just be collaborating with the Gunnison Police Department, right? Why did he have the last word on anything that happened? Also, why the hell does it feel like the coroner takes such a personal interest in the murder of that random police guy and why does he feel it's his place to so forcefully advise the sheriff on police matters?
- I found the portrayal of gender something that drew attention to itself but not in a progressive way like say, Alien or Aliens. Every female character in the film seemed to be attached to someone, the exceptions being the little girl and the homeless woman in the sewer, but even the homeless woman in the sewer appeared to be co-habitating with the two other men, Harry and the one guy who looks in the water and gets got by a facehugger. Or else they're just friends and they meet up at that location in the sewer. The other women are all married or claimed somehow. Diner lady is married to Ray, the dead cop. The other woman with the fliers was married to Buddy the dad in the woods. Jessie basically is dating Dale, and then breaks up with him for the express purpose of getting with Ricky. And the main Ripley woman was married to the dude from True Blood. The three male leads were all single or at least not committed officially. Ricky never declares himself for Jessie even though we know he's DTF and gets pissed when the Predator kills her. He's still technically single in the movie I think, even though Jessie essentially declares herself for him by breaking up with Dale. Dallas is a straight up bachelor, as is the sheriff whose name I cannot think of. Dale is going out with Jessie and gets dumped, but he doesn't really seem too broken up about it. He calls her a slut as soon as we find out he's been dumped.
- Nothing about the storytelling in this movie is creative. At one point, for instance, the Predator appears on the roof by simply breaking through from below. The Predator keeps enemies at bay by holding them. The things in this story conveniently do for the lazy writers what they need them to do. The main chick and her daughter get away from the Alien that kills their dad/husband by running. They seriously survive running all the way to the gun store. That's it, just running. Not to mention other things that just don't fit in. The function of the National Guard in this movie is absolutely nothing, unless you want to argue ONE aspect of the story that depends on it: The guy who's the boss at the pizza place decides to leave the pickup truck to ride in the tank. Otherwise, the tank itself never does anything in the story and the National Guard guys only arrive to die so the main people can get the tank. The stoner guys in the gun store are also totally unnecessary. I believe they appear in two shots. The idea that the Aliens start because there are homeless people living in a sewer I also found to be just lame and boring. The homeless people in the sewer were somewhat hilarious, but we didn't get to dwell on them long enough for me to figure out whether that humor was intentional or not.
- Am I really supposed to believe that these guys would actually be able to get into a sewer, and also ACTUALLY FIND THE KEYS? The characters ability to enter the sewer, their willingness to do so, and the fact that they found the keys all felt like deus ex machina devices to me.
- When Ray tells Harry, the homeless guy, that he's "taking him in," he clearly doesn't. Harry is back in the sewer like the next day or even the same day if I'm estimating the story time correctly.
- If all the power goes out, where the f**k is that huge source of light coming from outside the pool? Is it really supposed to be their headlights?
- Nothing the characters do in this movie makes any sense. The Predator itself is one of the most inconsistent. Why does he hang grab Dallas, who had not seen him in the first place, and then hang him upside down without killing him? What was the point?
- Also, why is, "We need guns," the very first solution proposed when the shit hits the fan? If Dallas had some type of background as a veteran or something this might make sense but I just don't get why his mind goes there straight away as a civilian who's just been released from prison.
- Why do we never learn anything about his crime?
- Ricky's injury and the portrayal of the character for the rest of the story is absurd. He seems to get impaled and seems merely dazed for the remainder of the film. "My brother needs a medic." Why isn't he bleeding out and dying and everyone frantically trying to save him?
- The pizza boss guy is Cricket in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. If you haven't seen that show I suggest watching it now!

However, I did enjoy the maternity ward scene still. It seems like it's in such terrible taste, but I love it anyway. Also, this was the theatrical version, I think my first time watching said version since seeing it in the theater nearly 10 years ago. This may be (including two commentaries) the 6th time I've seen the movie, but not positive on that.

I'm gonna go watch the first one now.

[SM]

RE: Gender - but not really re: gender, more re: Molly.  The script that's out there has a much more interesting dynamic with Molly and her parents.  They're on the verge of divorce due to her military career, and Molly is obviously closer to her Father.  Kelly has issues abandoning her daughter, then more issues abandoning her husband to the Alien.  Molly has a couple of lines alluding to this in the graveyard scene but it's subsequently forgotten.

Dale is going out with Jessie and gets dumped, but he doesn't really seem too broken up about it. He calls her a slut as soon as we find out he's been dumped.

Based on what we know of Dale - it sounds perfectly in character.

The main chick and her daughter get away from the Alien that kills their dad/husband by running. They seriously survive running all the way to the gun store.

He did yell at them to run.  I think the poorly executed (quelle surprise) idea here was that they get away because it's busy killing Tim.

The function of the National Guard in this movie is absolutely nothing

The function is to reinforce how f**ked the residents are.  The guys with the guns were slaughtered in seconds, so everyone else doesn't stand a chance.  When you think how great that scene could've been with heavier rain, lightning and strobes from machine guns - it was yet another opportunity wasted.

- When Ray tells Harry, the homeless guy, that he's "taking him in," he clearly doesn't. Harry is back in the sewer like the next day or even the same day if I'm estimating the story time correctly.

I think the dismembered arm and missing father and son end up taking priority.

- If all the power goes out, where the f**k is that huge source of light coming from outside the pool? Is it really supposed to be their headlights?

Yes.

- Also, why is, "We need guns," the very first solution proposed when the shit hits the fan? If Dallas had some type of background as a veteran or something this might make sense but I just don't get why his mind goes there straight away as a civilian who's just been released from prison.

Sounds pretty normal to me because a) something or things are killing people and b) he's a small town Yank.

Why do we never learn anything about his crime?

Show don't tell.  It's not important.  Throughout the film it's revealed what sort of person he is.  From memory, the script implies that he took the rap for something Ricky did (break and enter I think).

Why does he hang grab Dallas, who had not seen him in the first place, and then hang him upside down without killing him? What was the point?

I think the point was Dallas was Alien bait.  Use him to lure them in then blast them.  Considering the Predator can see Aliens perfectly well via their heat signature, and the Aliens would be attracted to the other half dozen people anyway, this sounds like a dopey plan - but it was the plan nonetheless.

- Ricky's injury and the portrayal of the character for the rest of the story is absurd. He seems to get impaled and seems merely dazed for the remainder of the film. "My brother needs a medic." Why isn't he bleeding out and dying and everyone frantically trying to save him?

Shoulder wounds never hurt in Hollywood.

[Hudson]

The function is to reinforce how f**ked the residents are.  The guys with the guns were slaughtered in seconds, so everyone else doesn't stand a chance.  When you think how great that scene could've been with heavier rain, lightning and strobes from machine guns - it was yet another opportunity wasted.

That's true. I at least wish they would have had this scene earlier in the film and that they would've gotten another character, a survivor DiStephano type.

Well I watched AvP 1. Holy shit the credits are long. Watching them in that order is fairly striking. AvP is still a dumb movie. I mean, I felt stupid watching it especially in the horribly edited beginning. It's a bad movie, but it doesn't feel disrespectful to storytelling. I can tell it was directed by a director and not by special effects artists. I have far fewer, if any, questions about the movie than I do suggestions on how it could've been better. AvPR I would just scrap completely. I find the story to be garbage. The worst thing about both movies is how disposable all of the characters are.

I think before today I was prepared to say Prometheus was my least favorite Alien movie but AvPR is definitely the worst.

[SM]

Interesting comment about director vs. visual effects artists.

I can't really put my finger on it, but if you just have a visual effect without the story for context it can be pretty soulless.  AvP:R feels like that.  Even the numerous scenes with no special effects.

[The Cruentus]

There is so many things bad about Requiem that there is no point listing them as you would be there all day 

- Also, why is, "We need guns," the very first solution proposed when the shit hits the fan? If Dallas had some type of background as a veteran or something this might make sense but I just don't get why his mind goes there straight away as a civilian who's just been released from prison.

Sounds pretty normal to me because a) something or things are killing people and b) he's a small town Yank.

Can't recall how far into the movie that scene is but if its when it becomes more obvious that there is some sort of infestion or major incident that is spreading, then the smart thing to do would be to leave town....which they could have at any time but when they do finally get round to it, they spend a lot of time trying to get to a helicopter.

- Ricky's injury and the portrayal of the character for the rest of the story is absurd. He seems to get impaled and seems merely dazed for the remainder of the film. "My brother needs a medic." Why isn't he bleeding out and dying and everyone frantically trying to save him?

Shoulder wounds never hurt in Hollywood.

No excuse though, some movies out there do try and be realistic. Alien was very down to earth in a lot of respects. it is said how "hollywood" sequels get when they have excellent starts. Die Hard springs to mind here. Everyday man in the first film, borderline superhuman in the latest movies.

[SM]

Can't recall how far into the movie that scene is but if its when it becomes more obvious that there is some sort of infestion or major incident that is spreading, then the smart thing to do would be to leave town....which they could have at any time but when they do finally get round to it, they spend a lot of time trying to get to a helicopter.

This is addressed in the film.
a) There's a traffic jam.
b) Eddie is the Sheriff and in unable to make contact with anyone, which kinda needs to do rather than just run away.
c) They go to get weapons so they can get out of town.

No excuse though, some movies out there do try and be realistic. Alien was very down to earth in a lot of respects. it is said how "hollywood" sequels get when they have excellent starts. Die Hard springs to mind here. Everyday man in the first film, borderline superhuman in the latest movies.

I didn't say it was an excuse but it happens constantly so no one cares.  I don't know what comparison is with Alien.  Die Hard is an exception.

[The Cruentus]

Traffic Jam? then they should have used the APC or just used a motorcycle or hell, run as fast as their legs could take them since between the store and the hospital there could have been a few hours, enough time to make a few miles on foot, of course guns would be needed then. Actually, that would have made for a good few scenes.

I understand that the sheriff would have obligations to prevent him from fleeing but civvies could leave at anytime.
When they get the weapons, they hold themselves up in the store instead of leaving.

Depends, in Arnie or Stallone action movies, the whole "only a flesh wound" thing is to be expected, hell its part of the amusement in some ways. But some movies have a more realistic tone, so it stands out more.

[SM]

So - they're going to drive the APC over the banked up cars or something?  By the time they get the Striker, they're told to get to the centre of town, which they do until Kelly twigs that something's up and they say they have to get out of town via helicopter.

[The Cruentus]

APC are capable of bumping cars aside.
Motorcycles or even cycles can go between cars depending on space.
On foot will would allow them to go offroad and through the forests...which would actually make another good scene.
Once they got their weapons, they could have left immediately but they didn't.

[SM]

Once they got the weapons they were told to go to the middle of town to be evacuated.

[D88M]

avpr is a perfect example of amateur filmmaking in literally every sense

[SM]

Except for the bits where it's literally financed by a professional studio for tens of millions of dollars, using literally professional actors and crew.

[Samhain13]

avpr is a perfect example of amateur filmmaking in literally every sense

Well it was the Strauses first movie after all  .

Still I think the biggest issue was the writer, the story was doomed from the start, surprisingly it could have ended up a lot worse.

[The Cruentus]

Yeah, I believe there was talk about Fox wanting the Predalien to cloak and use weapons I think. That would have been ridiculous.

In regards to the Brothers, their second movie didn't do so well either.

[SM]

Turned a very tidy profit, but was slated by critics something chronic and they didn't get asked back to direct the second one.  Which is still unreleased despite being shot in 2014.