Grade is making my mom and teacher tend to chew me out with no remorse, causing seriously unwarranted pressure and nervousness each time I take a test, making me make stupid little mistakes.
A few of my friends are using me as a projection post, and as a place to vent to, and that gets taxing.
Really... taxing
It's all just building up this frustration in me, and my worst fear is that it'll burst out at someone I care about.
I mean, I literally had to step away after my scolding (yet supposedly meant to be encouraging) speech and do a few kicks and punches at the air for a moments release. Then I snapped a dry erase marker in half like it was a pencil.
It's all very annoying for me... and it seems like no matter what I do, I can't help myself, it gets progressively worse.
My mother told me "I'm trying to tell you not to try this alone, because you can't do this alone."
Then show me it's helpful to involve other people, not just painful, show me dammit!
Urgh.
The worst part is, I sat down a day or two ago and tried to find reasons not to just end it, and run away from my problems in the ultimate sense. And it's getting harder to find reasons not to... there's less and less.
Ok... Yeah.... Venting over. f**k me
